That's Just So Cliched.
today is the day i first felt so chastised ever since i began. "okay, " i meekly replied, and put down the phone quietly. it's not everyday that someone makes an impact on you; an impact significant enough to change your life and make you want to hope and dream and wish you were a better person, more like that person.
i've started hoping ever since. and i've felt that i've made progress -- slow as it may be -- towards that hope. but today, i feel like all that is just maybe an illusion. perhaps it's not real and it's simply a projection of my wants. it's amazing what one person can do to you when he/she is important enough.
life's like that sometimes, isn't it? you want something so badly until every little thing that could point to it begins to seem bigger than it really is.
--
or maybe it's something you don't want so badly.
to this day i can hardly believe it happened. i can honestly say i haven't had my fair share of cliche stories. i still think that maybe i was just past due.
i'm still shit scared at the thought of it happening again; sometimes i worry about how it's going to be like in the future if i'll have to go through it again. i wonder what sort of emotional and mental mess i'm going to be.
i can recall with perfect clarity when i noticed the slight changes. when i close my eyes, i can relive the moments so easily -- worry, anxiety, fingernail-chewing, frantic brainstorming.
i don't think i will ever forget. i don't think anyone can make me forget.
--
once again, i'm ever so thankful for having her in my life. i can't imagine how is it people go through their whole lives without having anyone in the same capacity.
sometimes i think that if one day she's no longer here, it just wouldn't be the same anymore. a part of me would go too.
there is nobody more special.
i've started hoping ever since. and i've felt that i've made progress -- slow as it may be -- towards that hope. but today, i feel like all that is just maybe an illusion. perhaps it's not real and it's simply a projection of my wants. it's amazing what one person can do to you when he/she is important enough.
life's like that sometimes, isn't it? you want something so badly until every little thing that could point to it begins to seem bigger than it really is.
--
or maybe it's something you don't want so badly.
to this day i can hardly believe it happened. i can honestly say i haven't had my fair share of cliche stories. i still think that maybe i was just past due.
i'm still shit scared at the thought of it happening again; sometimes i worry about how it's going to be like in the future if i'll have to go through it again. i wonder what sort of emotional and mental mess i'm going to be.
i can recall with perfect clarity when i noticed the slight changes. when i close my eyes, i can relive the moments so easily -- worry, anxiety, fingernail-chewing, frantic brainstorming.
i don't think i will ever forget. i don't think anyone can make me forget.
--
once again, i'm ever so thankful for having her in my life. i can't imagine how is it people go through their whole lives without having anyone in the same capacity.
sometimes i think that if one day she's no longer here, it just wouldn't be the same anymore. a part of me would go too.
there is nobody more special.