The whys of absence

[inklacedfeather]

I am addicted to myspace. Sadly that is the truth. But I think the main reason I am so addicted to Myspace is that finally for once in my life I'm more out of my house then sitting at home on the internet. Though when I am home and on the internet I'm mainly on facebook, myspace, gmail and aim. I guess you can say I have a life now...even though that would be implying that I didn't have one before which isnt really the case. Maybe you can say I have lots of people I hang out with now which isnt much the case either. I've tried to figure out why I hardly ever check livejournal anymore and I'm still not very sure. Is it because I always felt like I could never keep up? Or because I sucked at commenting? Or because I felt there werent really many people reading so what was the point? No...mostly I think its that one journal. The one journal I keep reading to this day that makes me feel so lost and distant. So un-needed and shitty. Its not their fault they have a life and great friends. Its not their fault I feel so strongly about them that I'm jelious I'm no longer included in their world. Its not their fault I was written off. I know I managed to do it to myself. I just wasnt good enough to keep around and myspace and my life keeps me from really feeling that everyday. But livejournal...well it just constantly reminds me im not worth it. And its no ones fault but my own.

I'm offically legal now. 21 baby. Got the id and everything. And its weird and cool and for the most part my life is going really well. I'm working but i'll be done wit that by the end of the week then I'm taking the ummer off and then im actually goin back to school in the fall. Call me crazy. But yeah. Alive and well. Hope you all are the same. Sorry I'm never on.

Much love,

FQ