Super Junior {Hankyung/Heechul ; fingertips (14/23)}
Title: fingertips (14/23)
Fandom: Super Junior (AU, !mutant)
Pairing: central Hankyung/Heechul, Siwon/Sungmin, Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi, Kibum/Donghae, Yehsung/Ryeowook, Kangin/Eeteuk
Word count: 4,394
Rating: PG-13
Summary: At the Soo Man Academy for Gifted Individuals, those with mutant powers are taught how to control their gifts. Hankyung has come to learn to control something he doesn't consider a gift, but rather a curse, and he wants nothing else from the school, certainly not friendship, but then, his life has never gone how he wanted it.
A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am SO SORRY for how long it's been since an update. I was working on other stuff and then school work got dumped on me and then nanowrimo started (if you're wondering about how/what I'm doing, feel free to go here) and I opened this earlier tonight and decided that I needed to finish it. I am sorry for the delay, and I'll try to not let it happen again ♥ I want to finish this story.
fingertips (14/23)
First control lesson back, Hankyung showed off his sudden increase in time delay, hoping that Hyori would be impressed, only to find that she said, "Great! Now try harder." The result of this lack of praise ensured Hankyung's dark mood for the rest of the lesson, not helped by Heechul's demand that he "cheer the fuck up" on their way out of the door.
"Urgh," said Hankyung, feeling like he wanted nothing better than to just get back to the dorm and collapse against a sofa and not do anything for the rest of the night. Instead he was dragged by Heechul to one of the study rooms, where they sat and completed all the homework that had been building up and which they had been putting off due to last week being the first week back. After Hankyung finished his last Korean exercise, he threw his pen down and sunk his head onto the table, groaning.
"Life," he said, not very coherently, "was so much easier when I never came out of my bedroom."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that," said Heechul, still biting the end of his pen as he considered something in his History essay. "Didn't you used to get bored, just staying in your room all the time?"
"All the time," admitted Hankyung. "I got so bored that I taught myself Korean, Heechul. That's how bored I used to get."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure you found something to do."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hankyung was suspicious of Heechul's tone.
Heechul smirked at him. "Oh, come on, Hankyung. A bored teenage boy, locked in his bedroom? I know what you got up to."
Hankyung flushed, slightly annoyed. "What the hell does this have to do with anything?"
"Just trying to work out why you jump to the ceiling whenever I touch you," said Heechul, glancing back at his paper. He sounded indifferent, which let Hankyung know that he was actually bothered by it. He flushed even harder.
"I can't help it," he muttered, sinking his head to the table again.
"Don't jump," said Heechul, and he pushed him upright and sat on his lap. Heechul really didn't weigh a whole lot more than he looked like he weighed. He rested his cheek against Hankyung's head, possibly to keep him still, as he let his hand drift from Hankyung's forehead, down over his nose and resting his fingers against his mouth. Hankyung's breathing was slightly faster than normal but he didn't move.
"Why don't you touch me?" Heechul asked. Hankyung curled his fingers around the edge of the table.
"What's the point?" he asked. "I can't feel your skin."
"Take the gloves off then," said Heechul.
"Don't be stupid."
"And so we come back around in a circle," said Heechul. He climbed back off Hankyung's legs and came around so he could drape his hands over his back. "You won't take your gloves off because you're scared you'll kill me--"
"I'm not scared," interrupted Hankyung. "I know I'll kill you. I've already killed my sister, Heechul, how could I live with--"
"Fine!" said Heechul, throwing his arms up and angrily snatching his notebook from the table and stuffing it into his bag. "Fine, we'll just be chaste, the most fucking virtuous couple to ever grace the planet, shall we? That will be fucking awesome."
"Heechul..."
Heechul slammed out of the room, the bang of the door behind him ringing in Hankyung's ears. He groaned, running his hands over his face and slumping down in his chair. What was he supposed to do? How could he possibly throw off years of no bodily contact and be comfortable suddenly with Heechul's hands in places that he'd never had hands before (unless you counted his own and he didn't, really)? How could he possibly suddenly be fine with touching someone, when he'd avoided doing that for so much of his life?
He sighed and shoved his stuff into his bag, possibly bending the pages of his History essay but not really caring. Then he left the school building and quickly walked over the lawn towards the dorm, the sunlight just beginning to tinge with pink and orange. He went first to the room that he had been told the others would be waiting in and dumped his bag down and collapsed into a chair.
"Where's hyung?" asked Siwon, surprised.
"We had an argument," muttered Hankyung, not looking at him.
"Great," said Sungmin. He was sitting on the sofa next to Siwon, a usual place that he had taken over the past couple of days. It had been enough to raise eyebrows if nothing else. "Another arguing couple."
Hankyung winced and looked up, noticing that in addition to Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi being missing, Kibum was gone too, and Donghae was in the corner with Eunhyuk, talking about something. He looked upset, one foot resting on the chair, chin against his knee. "What's wrong with Donghae?" Hankyung asked, more than anything to distract anyone asking about his fight with Heechul.
"Kibum snapped at him earlier," said Sungmin. "Donghae asked him something and Kibum told him that he should just ask Eunhyuk since he does everything else with Eunhyuk, and then he stormed out of the room." He paused. "It was very melodramatic, very well done."
"It was odd," said Siwon. "Donghae-hyung doesn't know what he did wrong."
"I don't think he did anything wrong," said Sungmin. "I think Kibum's just caught a case of jealousy." He focused on Hankyung. "Now what did you argue with Heechul about? I spent so long getting you two together that you can't ruin this for me." Reflecting on it, Hankyung really shouldn't have expected to get away with changing the subject, not around Sungmin.
"Just. Stuff," he said.
"Hankyung."
"It's kind of personal, Sungmin."
"Oh," said Sungmin, then, "Ohhh," in a tone that mixed sexual innuendo with deep understanding and which was completely crude. "I see."
"He just -- not like that, Sungmin."
"Just don't do it in my room, okay? Ew."
"I'm telling you, that's not it!" Hankyung looked desperately at Siwon for some back-up, but Siwon was studiously looking away. "That's the whole -- shut up."
Zhou Mi came into the room, looking worried, and made a beeline. "Ge? Is Heechul-hyung okay?"
"We had an argument," said Hankyung. "Why, did he--"
"I saw him going into his bedroom. He just seemed upset," said Zhou Mi. "Kind of too fuzzy-headed for me to be able to work out why, though."
"I should go see if he's okay," said Hankyung, already half out of his chair.
"You should," said Zhou Mi, biting his lip. Hankyung left the room, just hearing Sungmin ask Zhou Mi if he'd spoken to Kyuhyun today. Hankyung was suddenly gripped by a fear that if he let this go on for much longer, he and Heechul would end up like Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi, both of them too proud to make up. Hankyung couldn't afford to be proud any longer. He practically ran up the stairs to the floor that their rooms were on, and only waited for a moment after he'd knocked on the door before going in.
"Heechul--"
"Fuck, Hankyung," said Heechul, hand over his heart. "You almost gave me a freaking heart attack."
Hankyung paused by the end of his bed, staring at Heechul who was playing with his mobile phone by the strap. "Heechul," he said seriously. "I wanted to --"
"Ergh, don't," said Heechul, laying his phone on the table next to him. "Because then I'll have to tell you that no, it was totally my fault, and you know how much I hate saying sorry, Hankyung."
"It's just," said Hankyung earnestly, "that I am so crap, I know I am, but I don't want to lose you so I will just, I'll do whatever, okay, I'll try so hard, so just--"
"Shut your damn face," said Heechul. "You're a freaking moron, okay."
"I can't be the perfect boyfriend, but I am trying so hard."
"I know you are," said Heechul, no bite left in his voice at all. "I feel like such a dick now. I hate you. Sit down." Hankyung sat, only for Heechul to push him down on his back and lie against his chest. He put one hand against the side of his head, fingertips just touching Hankyung's hair, the other against his chest. "We just need to get you used to this," said Heechul softly. "And that might take a while, but that's okay, you know."
Hankyung knew that, because he was the one who was going to make it okay.
***
"I'm cold," complained Kyuhyun.
"So get a sweater," said Heechul. "Or are you talking about your personality, because you know, we're already aware of that."
"I hate you," Kyuhyun muttered darkly, but he did shiver before standing up. "I'm going to get a sweater, actually, that might help."
"Why are you telling me?" Heechul asked. "Just because you're not talking to Seasoning doesn't mean you get to talk to me all the time."
"Seriously," said Kyuhyun, flipping him off. "I hate you." He left the room.
Heechul settled down against Hankyung's side. "Now that we're alone," he said, letting his voice trail off.
"You're not fucking alone," said Kangin, voice muffled against the sofa that he had thrown himself down onto after control lessons. It was, admittedly true, since it wasn't just Kangin who was also in the room, Shindong and Sungmin were talking by the window and Eunhyuk was playing on his DS. Kangin groaned and lifted his head. "You've got a room, why don't you use it?"
"We've got two rooms," said Heechul cheerfully.
"No, Siwon is in mine," said Hankyung.
"Oh, okay," said Heechul. "We've got a room, but we don't want to use it."
"Hyung," whined Kangin, then, as Eeteuk entered the room, "Teukie-hyung, make Heechul go away."
"Nurgh," said Eeteuk in response, and curled up on a sofa, knees pulled up and head bent in so that they were almost touching. His wings were folded in against his back, feathers barely visible against the white of his shirt. Heechul and Kangin exchanged glances and both stood up.
"Teukie-hyung?"
"Can someone get me some painkillers?" Eeteuk said, voice faint. He reached down and fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a key. "There'll be some in my bathroom."
There was another moment where Heechul and Kangin looked at each other and then Heechul nodded tensely and left the room. Eunhyuk pulled his headphones out as Sungmin and Shindong too noticed that something was up. Kangin took Eeteuk's hand. "What is it, hyung?" he asked, voice pitched low.
"Growing pains," said Eeteuk, a pained smile just visible under the hair which had fallen into his face. "Bones strengthening."
Hankyung looked at Shindong in confusion. "Every few months Eeteuk's bones got through a short time of strengthening," Shindong explained, eyes flicking between Hankyung and Eeteuk curled on the sofa. "It's really painful, keeps him out of practice for a couple of days."
"It's okay, hyung," soothed Kangin. "One more of these times means one less before the whole process is complete."
"I know," said Eeteuk, and his fingers convulsed around Kangin's. "It'll all be over soon, I've just got to endure it." He brought his hand up and rubbed it against his face, possibly rubbing away tears. "It hurts, Kangin," he whispered.
"I know," said Kangin. "I know it does."
Hankyung was staring so hard that it couldn't be considered polite in any way, but he couldn't help himself. Suddenly all the certainty around Eeteuk, all that self-assured manner and aura of being in control, had fallen away, leaving someone who suddenly seemed a lot more like an eighteen-year-old than Eeteuk had ever looked before. "Heechul-hyung will be back soon," said Kangin, and he looked a lot older than Hankyung had ever seen him before. "We'll let the tablets work and then I'll take you back to your room once the pain has died down enough to move you."
Heechul came back, and said painkillers were administered. Hankyung unspoken question as to why they needed to get them directly from Eeteuk's room was answered when he spotted the bottle and realised that they were heavy strength. Eeteuk was helped upright and he took a couple with water. He gripped Kangin's hand tight. After about ten minutes, the pain had apparently eased off enough for him to relax somewhat; half an hour in, they had knocked him unconscious. Kangin sighed, peeling Eeteuk's fingers away.
"Poor Eeteuk-hyung," said Sungmin softly.
Kangin carried Eeteuk back to his bedroom, and apparently watched over him, because he only came back out when it was time for dinner. "He's still asleep," he said, bolting down his food. "I don't want him to wake up in pain without someone there."
"I'll sit with him later on tonight," said Heechul quietly.
Kangin shook his head, grinning. "No thanks, hyung, you know this is my only chance to have him on his own." Heechul snorted with laughter and waved cheerfully at Kangin as he ran off again, looking rather like one of the large animals that he was able to transform into. Conversation returned slowly, mainly at the part of the table that Heechul, Hankyung, Siwon and Sungmin were sitting at. Down the other end, Donghae and Kibum were steadfastly ignoring each other, Eunhyuk was sitting there rather uncomfortably, and Kyuhyun, sat next to Donghae, had two giant sweaters on and was still shivering. Ryeowook, sitting opposite, looked at him warily.
"Kyuhyun, you should probably go see the doctor," he said. Kyuhyun waved off his worries with a hand gesture.
"I'm fine," he said. "Probably just caught a cold."
Yehsung reached over and put his hand against Kyuhyun's forehead before Kyuhyun could work out what was happening. He flinched back, scowling, but not before Yehsung had snatched his hand away. "Kyuhyun," he said slowly, "you're not burning up."
"That's good," said Shindong with a laugh.
"No," said Yehsung. "It's not. His skin is like ice."
"Makes sense, I suppose," said Kyuhyun. His voice was suddenly a lot fainter than it had been. "Since my power is ice..." He trailed away because he had lost consciousness, head tipping back, jaw slack. There was a moment where everyone stared, half wondering if it was all just a joke, then Ryeowook dropped his fork against his plate with a clatter, breaking the spell, and all hell seemed to break loose.
The teachers had noticed something strange was happening -- hard not to when a group of students seemed to crowd around another one. Hyori touched Kyuhyun's forehead once and then he was immediately taken to the hospital wing without a single word of explanation to anyone. No one was allowed to see him, the group of them trying to peer through the glass slats of the door to see what was going on. Eventually Hyori came out, grimness in every inch of her face. "Where's Eeteuk?" she asked.
"He's not well," said Heechul. "His bones -- you know."
Hyori nodded tensely. "Kyuhyun-shi is going to be moved to the hospital," she said, brittle and uptight, different than usual. "They'll be able to run more tests there."
"Hospital?" Ryeowook practically shrank away from the word.
"We're not sure what the trouble is but we'll be sure to let you know." Hyori started pushing the doors to the hospital wing open again. "Heechul, when Eeteuk is strong enough, ask him to come to see me." Heechul nodded, and Hyori disappeared again.
They were quiet and solemn when they returned to the school. Zhou Mi had been the only one missing from dinner, but he greeted them with an anxious and slightly hysterical, "What's wrong with Kui Xian?"
"You've been told, huh," said Heechul.
"No," said Zhou Mi. "No one has told me anything. I can just -- hear it. Something's wrong. My mind is all fuzzy with it."
"I thought you said that you couldn't hear Kyuhyun's thoughts," Heechul said with a frown.
"I usually can't, so that's how I know he's ill. What is it, what's wrong with him?"
"They don't know," said Sungmin, who strangely enough looked rather calm and in control. "They're running tests. Zhou Mi, you should sit down."
"What happened to him?"
"He collapsed in the middle of dinner," said Donghae. "He was so cold, Yehsung said it was like ice, and then he just fainted."
"I should have been there," said Zhou Mi, looking like his world was crashing down. "I should have been there but I was being too stubborn--"
"You can't think like that," said Sungmin firmly. "It's not your fault. He'll be fine, you'll see."
Most of them decided to just go to bed, as the shock and worrying had tired them out. Ryeowook in particular looked dead on his feet, always one to feel things in extremes; he didn't look happy, though, at the prospect of staying in his room by himself for the night. Yehsung opened his mouth, saw the way Heechul was grinning at him, ready to make a lewd remark, then seemed to change his mind.
After much bullying from Heechul and Sungmin, Zhou Mi agreed to try to sleep. "You'll just make yourself ill if you stay up worrying," Heechul pointed out, and although Zhou Mi didn't look particularly well rested the next morning, something was better than nothing. After making sure that Zhou Mi did, in fact, go into his room, where Henry would have to deal with him, Heechul and Sungmin decided to commandeer Hankyung and Siwon's room for a short while.
Siwon stretched out on the floor so that his toes were pressed against the wall. He brought his toes back and then let them fall against it, and his big toe on his left foot went through it. "Oh," he said sadly, and pulled it back out, moving until he was sitting cross-legged. Sungmin, sitting on Siwon's bed holding his pillow to his stomach, smothered a laugh in it.
"You'll have to go ask to get that fixed," said Heechul in a bored tone, inspecting his hair for split ends. He was sitting on the end of Hankyung's bed and wouldn't leave so that the actual occupiers of the room could sleep.
"Don't you think that was kind of shocking, though, with Kyuhyun today?" Sungmin asked, biting his bottom lip. Heechul cast a quick look in Siwon's direction, then shrugged.
"I guess."
"I hope he's okay. You think he'll be okay, right?"
"Of course, hyung," said Siwon reassuringly. "He'll be fine. They'll find out what's wrong and then they'll be able to give him the right treatment."
"I hope you're right," said Sungmin. Then, deceptively casual, he said, "You guys say how Zhou Mi was, right? He was beside himself. He probably wouldn't even be able to tell you his name right now, never mind anything else."
"Seasoning," Heechul said, "is a girl."
"I don't feel like that," said Sungmin. He said it with the air of dropping a great, important bombshell, which landed flat because everyone just blinked at him. "I don't feel -- I mean, I'm worried, obviously. I'm scared for him, and all that, but I don't feel -- I'm not distraught, like Zhou Mi. I don't want to run to his bedside and fling myself beside him and sob that he needs to open his eyes, as much of an awesome picture as that paints. I don't feel like that."
"For god's sake," said Heechul. "How hard is it to admit that you simply do not like Kyuhyun in that way anymore?"
There was a long pause, before Sungmin straightened his back and said imperiously, "I do not like Kyuhyun anymore." Then he slumped a little and repeated wonderingly, "I don't like Kyuhyun anymore. I don't."
"There," said Heechul, a semi-smile on his face. "Was that so hard?"
"But I've always liked Kyuhyun," said Sungmin, looking and sounding confused.
"Well, not anymore."
"How do I -- I'm sorry, I'm confused. How am I supposed to -- what the--"
"Oh my god, Sungmin, liking Kyuhyun did not make up an integral part of your life, okay? It didn't define you, so stop acting as though it did."
"Look, it's not that, it's just that I've liked him for so long, it feels -- odd."
"Your face is odd," said Heechul darkly.
"No, it isn't," said Siwon. "Sungmin-hyung has a nice face." Sungmin blushed and glanced down at his hands, but apparently didn't make any connection between that and what they had just been talking about. Heechul groaned and flopped down on the bed, head against Hankyung's calf.
"Is everyone around me stupid?" he grumbled.
"Yeah, probably," said Hankyung.
***
Kyuhyun was still missing the next day, and no news filtered down through to them. Control classes were cancelled for all years, which suggested that Hyori was at the hospital with him. By lunch, everyone's nerves were frazzled, after a particularly harrowing lesson with Park, in which she kept wondering out loud about "poor Kyuhyun's condition" and seemed to take great happiness in the fact that he might be getting worse. Only constant muttering of obscenities under his breath kept Heechul from standing up and punching her.
Eeteuk was missing too, which was perhaps the only reason why Park even felt like she could get away with half of the things she said. After class finished at midday, Kangin jumped up and rushed out, going to check up on Eeteuk and make sure that he was eating okay. It meant that they were without both Kangin's domineering presence and Eeteuk's reputation in the school when they walked into the lunch hall only for every single person there to fall silent, staring at them.
"The fuck?" asked Yehsung in a whisper as they picked their way through the tables to where those of their friends in lower years were already sitting. Eyes followed them, even as whispering started up again. Hankyung began to notice that actually, it was not them generally that the staring was directed at: every pair of eyes was focused on him. It was apparently something that Heechul noticed too, since he reached back and gripped Hankyung's wrist so hard that his nails almost dug in. A girl at a table near them gasped in shock at his daring at getting so close to Hankyung's hand.
Heechul opened his mouth furiously, but Hankyung shook his head and stepped a little closer to murmur, "Don't, just leave it." He wanted to get to the others and find out what had happened, why silence and staring filled the room when he walked in. By the time they got there, most of the noise had started up again, though a few eyes still lingered on him. Everyone already sitting looked confused, apart from those in their first year: Ryeowook was poking at his rice, while Siwon had his head bowed. Henry seemed to be stuffing his face with food so that if anyone asked, he wouldn't be able to reply.
"Okay," said Yehsung, sighing as he sat and put an arm across Ryeowook's shoulders. "Come on, spill. What was that all about?"
"I don't know what you mean," whispered Ryeowook, hiding behind his hair. Yehsung gave him a little shake, then looked up in confusion when that didn't yield any results. Heechul took over.
"Hey, Siwon," he said, sitting down next to him. Siwon shied away a little. "Siwon. Siwon. Siwon. SIWON."
"What, hyung?"
"Tell us what just happened."
"You walked in and everyone went quiet."
Heechul's eyes narrowed. Hankyung took the seat next to him. "Don't try and play clever with me. Why did everyone go quiet? You clearly know why."
Siwon looked up only to give Hankyung a worried look. "Hyung, I don't want to--"
"Siwon."
"Someone is spreading a rumour that the reason Kyuhyun is missing is because -- because--"
"We know it's something to do with me," said Hankyung, heart sinking. "Just tell us, Siwon."
"Because Hankyung-hyung touched him. they were talking about it on our classes. They're saying that the reason Kyuhyun is missing is because Hankyung-hyung killed him."
Hankyung suddenly felt lightheaded and cold, felt like curling into a ball and never, ever unfurling. He lowered his head a little as everyone who hadn't already knew the rumour began talking over the top of one another, trying to find out where the rumour had started, who it had started with, how many people honestly believed it. Heechul's hand found Hankyung's wrist again, and then a voice cut over the top of them.
"Be careful, Kim, he might kill you, too."
Jaekyung had been quiet since that first incident on the lawn on Hankyung's first day, but apparently he had decided that now was his chance. Heechul turned to glare at him, and then laughed, bitterly. "So you're the one who started it." Jaekyung didn't answer. "I'm right, aren't I? Well, of course, you aren't going to admit it, but I'm right."
"You have to admit, it's a logical conclusion."
"Sure," said Heechul slowly, "except for the fact that -- and this is the clincher -- Kyuhyun isn't dead."
"How do you know?"
"Because he didn't die!" Ryeowook stood up and slammed his hand on the table, then blushed and sat back down, half turned to Yehsung when he repeated, "because he didn't die."
"I didn't kill him," said Hankyung softly, "and I'd like you to stop implying that I killed one of my friends."
Jaekyung sneered at him and attempted saying something, but was interrupted by commotion by the door. Zhou Mi, who had chosen to skip classes that day, ran in, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt which he had clearly pulled on in a hurry. "Ge!" he shrieked in Mandarin, running towards them. "Ge, you have to help, you have to get help--!"
"What the hell is he yelling about?" Heechul asked in a tense voice as Hankyung stood up slowly, Jaekyung forgotten. "Seasoning, what is it?"
Zhou Mi was so distraught that he didn't seem able to even speak Korean any longer. "It's Kui Xian, Kui Xian, he's -- he's gone quiet, ge. Ge, I can't hear his thoughts anymore."
Fandom: Super Junior (AU, !mutant)
Pairing: central Hankyung/Heechul, Siwon/Sungmin, Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi, Kibum/Donghae, Yehsung/Ryeowook, Kangin/Eeteuk
Word count: 4,394
Rating: PG-13
Summary: At the Soo Man Academy for Gifted Individuals, those with mutant powers are taught how to control their gifts. Hankyung has come to learn to control something he doesn't consider a gift, but rather a curse, and he wants nothing else from the school, certainly not friendship, but then, his life has never gone how he wanted it.
A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am SO SORRY for how long it's been since an update. I was working on other stuff and then school work got dumped on me and then nanowrimo started (if you're wondering about how/what I'm doing, feel free to go here) and I opened this earlier tonight and decided that I needed to finish it. I am sorry for the delay, and I'll try to not let it happen again ♥ I want to finish this story.
fingertips (14/23)
First control lesson back, Hankyung showed off his sudden increase in time delay, hoping that Hyori would be impressed, only to find that she said, "Great! Now try harder." The result of this lack of praise ensured Hankyung's dark mood for the rest of the lesson, not helped by Heechul's demand that he "cheer the fuck up" on their way out of the door.
"Urgh," said Hankyung, feeling like he wanted nothing better than to just get back to the dorm and collapse against a sofa and not do anything for the rest of the night. Instead he was dragged by Heechul to one of the study rooms, where they sat and completed all the homework that had been building up and which they had been putting off due to last week being the first week back. After Hankyung finished his last Korean exercise, he threw his pen down and sunk his head onto the table, groaning.
"Life," he said, not very coherently, "was so much easier when I never came out of my bedroom."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that," said Heechul, still biting the end of his pen as he considered something in his History essay. "Didn't you used to get bored, just staying in your room all the time?"
"All the time," admitted Hankyung. "I got so bored that I taught myself Korean, Heechul. That's how bored I used to get."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure you found something to do."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hankyung was suspicious of Heechul's tone.
Heechul smirked at him. "Oh, come on, Hankyung. A bored teenage boy, locked in his bedroom? I know what you got up to."
Hankyung flushed, slightly annoyed. "What the hell does this have to do with anything?"
"Just trying to work out why you jump to the ceiling whenever I touch you," said Heechul, glancing back at his paper. He sounded indifferent, which let Hankyung know that he was actually bothered by it. He flushed even harder.
"I can't help it," he muttered, sinking his head to the table again.
"Don't jump," said Heechul, and he pushed him upright and sat on his lap. Heechul really didn't weigh a whole lot more than he looked like he weighed. He rested his cheek against Hankyung's head, possibly to keep him still, as he let his hand drift from Hankyung's forehead, down over his nose and resting his fingers against his mouth. Hankyung's breathing was slightly faster than normal but he didn't move.
"Why don't you touch me?" Heechul asked. Hankyung curled his fingers around the edge of the table.
"What's the point?" he asked. "I can't feel your skin."
"Take the gloves off then," said Heechul.
"Don't be stupid."
"And so we come back around in a circle," said Heechul. He climbed back off Hankyung's legs and came around so he could drape his hands over his back. "You won't take your gloves off because you're scared you'll kill me--"
"I'm not scared," interrupted Hankyung. "I know I'll kill you. I've already killed my sister, Heechul, how could I live with--"
"Fine!" said Heechul, throwing his arms up and angrily snatching his notebook from the table and stuffing it into his bag. "Fine, we'll just be chaste, the most fucking virtuous couple to ever grace the planet, shall we? That will be fucking awesome."
"Heechul..."
Heechul slammed out of the room, the bang of the door behind him ringing in Hankyung's ears. He groaned, running his hands over his face and slumping down in his chair. What was he supposed to do? How could he possibly throw off years of no bodily contact and be comfortable suddenly with Heechul's hands in places that he'd never had hands before (unless you counted his own and he didn't, really)? How could he possibly suddenly be fine with touching someone, when he'd avoided doing that for so much of his life?
He sighed and shoved his stuff into his bag, possibly bending the pages of his History essay but not really caring. Then he left the school building and quickly walked over the lawn towards the dorm, the sunlight just beginning to tinge with pink and orange. He went first to the room that he had been told the others would be waiting in and dumped his bag down and collapsed into a chair.
"Where's hyung?" asked Siwon, surprised.
"We had an argument," muttered Hankyung, not looking at him.
"Great," said Sungmin. He was sitting on the sofa next to Siwon, a usual place that he had taken over the past couple of days. It had been enough to raise eyebrows if nothing else. "Another arguing couple."
Hankyung winced and looked up, noticing that in addition to Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi being missing, Kibum was gone too, and Donghae was in the corner with Eunhyuk, talking about something. He looked upset, one foot resting on the chair, chin against his knee. "What's wrong with Donghae?" Hankyung asked, more than anything to distract anyone asking about his fight with Heechul.
"Kibum snapped at him earlier," said Sungmin. "Donghae asked him something and Kibum told him that he should just ask Eunhyuk since he does everything else with Eunhyuk, and then he stormed out of the room." He paused. "It was very melodramatic, very well done."
"It was odd," said Siwon. "Donghae-hyung doesn't know what he did wrong."
"I don't think he did anything wrong," said Sungmin. "I think Kibum's just caught a case of jealousy." He focused on Hankyung. "Now what did you argue with Heechul about? I spent so long getting you two together that you can't ruin this for me." Reflecting on it, Hankyung really shouldn't have expected to get away with changing the subject, not around Sungmin.
"Just. Stuff," he said.
"Hankyung."
"It's kind of personal, Sungmin."
"Oh," said Sungmin, then, "Ohhh," in a tone that mixed sexual innuendo with deep understanding and which was completely crude. "I see."
"He just -- not like that, Sungmin."
"Just don't do it in my room, okay? Ew."
"I'm telling you, that's not it!" Hankyung looked desperately at Siwon for some back-up, but Siwon was studiously looking away. "That's the whole -- shut up."
Zhou Mi came into the room, looking worried, and made a beeline. "Ge? Is Heechul-hyung okay?"
"We had an argument," said Hankyung. "Why, did he--"
"I saw him going into his bedroom. He just seemed upset," said Zhou Mi. "Kind of too fuzzy-headed for me to be able to work out why, though."
"I should go see if he's okay," said Hankyung, already half out of his chair.
"You should," said Zhou Mi, biting his lip. Hankyung left the room, just hearing Sungmin ask Zhou Mi if he'd spoken to Kyuhyun today. Hankyung was suddenly gripped by a fear that if he let this go on for much longer, he and Heechul would end up like Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi, both of them too proud to make up. Hankyung couldn't afford to be proud any longer. He practically ran up the stairs to the floor that their rooms were on, and only waited for a moment after he'd knocked on the door before going in.
"Heechul--"
"Fuck, Hankyung," said Heechul, hand over his heart. "You almost gave me a freaking heart attack."
Hankyung paused by the end of his bed, staring at Heechul who was playing with his mobile phone by the strap. "Heechul," he said seriously. "I wanted to --"
"Ergh, don't," said Heechul, laying his phone on the table next to him. "Because then I'll have to tell you that no, it was totally my fault, and you know how much I hate saying sorry, Hankyung."
"It's just," said Hankyung earnestly, "that I am so crap, I know I am, but I don't want to lose you so I will just, I'll do whatever, okay, I'll try so hard, so just--"
"Shut your damn face," said Heechul. "You're a freaking moron, okay."
"I can't be the perfect boyfriend, but I am trying so hard."
"I know you are," said Heechul, no bite left in his voice at all. "I feel like such a dick now. I hate you. Sit down." Hankyung sat, only for Heechul to push him down on his back and lie against his chest. He put one hand against the side of his head, fingertips just touching Hankyung's hair, the other against his chest. "We just need to get you used to this," said Heechul softly. "And that might take a while, but that's okay, you know."
Hankyung knew that, because he was the one who was going to make it okay.
***
"I'm cold," complained Kyuhyun.
"So get a sweater," said Heechul. "Or are you talking about your personality, because you know, we're already aware of that."
"I hate you," Kyuhyun muttered darkly, but he did shiver before standing up. "I'm going to get a sweater, actually, that might help."
"Why are you telling me?" Heechul asked. "Just because you're not talking to Seasoning doesn't mean you get to talk to me all the time."
"Seriously," said Kyuhyun, flipping him off. "I hate you." He left the room.
Heechul settled down against Hankyung's side. "Now that we're alone," he said, letting his voice trail off.
"You're not fucking alone," said Kangin, voice muffled against the sofa that he had thrown himself down onto after control lessons. It was, admittedly true, since it wasn't just Kangin who was also in the room, Shindong and Sungmin were talking by the window and Eunhyuk was playing on his DS. Kangin groaned and lifted his head. "You've got a room, why don't you use it?"
"We've got two rooms," said Heechul cheerfully.
"No, Siwon is in mine," said Hankyung.
"Oh, okay," said Heechul. "We've got a room, but we don't want to use it."
"Hyung," whined Kangin, then, as Eeteuk entered the room, "Teukie-hyung, make Heechul go away."
"Nurgh," said Eeteuk in response, and curled up on a sofa, knees pulled up and head bent in so that they were almost touching. His wings were folded in against his back, feathers barely visible against the white of his shirt. Heechul and Kangin exchanged glances and both stood up.
"Teukie-hyung?"
"Can someone get me some painkillers?" Eeteuk said, voice faint. He reached down and fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a key. "There'll be some in my bathroom."
There was another moment where Heechul and Kangin looked at each other and then Heechul nodded tensely and left the room. Eunhyuk pulled his headphones out as Sungmin and Shindong too noticed that something was up. Kangin took Eeteuk's hand. "What is it, hyung?" he asked, voice pitched low.
"Growing pains," said Eeteuk, a pained smile just visible under the hair which had fallen into his face. "Bones strengthening."
Hankyung looked at Shindong in confusion. "Every few months Eeteuk's bones got through a short time of strengthening," Shindong explained, eyes flicking between Hankyung and Eeteuk curled on the sofa. "It's really painful, keeps him out of practice for a couple of days."
"It's okay, hyung," soothed Kangin. "One more of these times means one less before the whole process is complete."
"I know," said Eeteuk, and his fingers convulsed around Kangin's. "It'll all be over soon, I've just got to endure it." He brought his hand up and rubbed it against his face, possibly rubbing away tears. "It hurts, Kangin," he whispered.
"I know," said Kangin. "I know it does."
Hankyung was staring so hard that it couldn't be considered polite in any way, but he couldn't help himself. Suddenly all the certainty around Eeteuk, all that self-assured manner and aura of being in control, had fallen away, leaving someone who suddenly seemed a lot more like an eighteen-year-old than Eeteuk had ever looked before. "Heechul-hyung will be back soon," said Kangin, and he looked a lot older than Hankyung had ever seen him before. "We'll let the tablets work and then I'll take you back to your room once the pain has died down enough to move you."
Heechul came back, and said painkillers were administered. Hankyung unspoken question as to why they needed to get them directly from Eeteuk's room was answered when he spotted the bottle and realised that they were heavy strength. Eeteuk was helped upright and he took a couple with water. He gripped Kangin's hand tight. After about ten minutes, the pain had apparently eased off enough for him to relax somewhat; half an hour in, they had knocked him unconscious. Kangin sighed, peeling Eeteuk's fingers away.
"Poor Eeteuk-hyung," said Sungmin softly.
Kangin carried Eeteuk back to his bedroom, and apparently watched over him, because he only came back out when it was time for dinner. "He's still asleep," he said, bolting down his food. "I don't want him to wake up in pain without someone there."
"I'll sit with him later on tonight," said Heechul quietly.
Kangin shook his head, grinning. "No thanks, hyung, you know this is my only chance to have him on his own." Heechul snorted with laughter and waved cheerfully at Kangin as he ran off again, looking rather like one of the large animals that he was able to transform into. Conversation returned slowly, mainly at the part of the table that Heechul, Hankyung, Siwon and Sungmin were sitting at. Down the other end, Donghae and Kibum were steadfastly ignoring each other, Eunhyuk was sitting there rather uncomfortably, and Kyuhyun, sat next to Donghae, had two giant sweaters on and was still shivering. Ryeowook, sitting opposite, looked at him warily.
"Kyuhyun, you should probably go see the doctor," he said. Kyuhyun waved off his worries with a hand gesture.
"I'm fine," he said. "Probably just caught a cold."
Yehsung reached over and put his hand against Kyuhyun's forehead before Kyuhyun could work out what was happening. He flinched back, scowling, but not before Yehsung had snatched his hand away. "Kyuhyun," he said slowly, "you're not burning up."
"That's good," said Shindong with a laugh.
"No," said Yehsung. "It's not. His skin is like ice."
"Makes sense, I suppose," said Kyuhyun. His voice was suddenly a lot fainter than it had been. "Since my power is ice..." He trailed away because he had lost consciousness, head tipping back, jaw slack. There was a moment where everyone stared, half wondering if it was all just a joke, then Ryeowook dropped his fork against his plate with a clatter, breaking the spell, and all hell seemed to break loose.
The teachers had noticed something strange was happening -- hard not to when a group of students seemed to crowd around another one. Hyori touched Kyuhyun's forehead once and then he was immediately taken to the hospital wing without a single word of explanation to anyone. No one was allowed to see him, the group of them trying to peer through the glass slats of the door to see what was going on. Eventually Hyori came out, grimness in every inch of her face. "Where's Eeteuk?" she asked.
"He's not well," said Heechul. "His bones -- you know."
Hyori nodded tensely. "Kyuhyun-shi is going to be moved to the hospital," she said, brittle and uptight, different than usual. "They'll be able to run more tests there."
"Hospital?" Ryeowook practically shrank away from the word.
"We're not sure what the trouble is but we'll be sure to let you know." Hyori started pushing the doors to the hospital wing open again. "Heechul, when Eeteuk is strong enough, ask him to come to see me." Heechul nodded, and Hyori disappeared again.
They were quiet and solemn when they returned to the school. Zhou Mi had been the only one missing from dinner, but he greeted them with an anxious and slightly hysterical, "What's wrong with Kui Xian?"
"You've been told, huh," said Heechul.
"No," said Zhou Mi. "No one has told me anything. I can just -- hear it. Something's wrong. My mind is all fuzzy with it."
"I thought you said that you couldn't hear Kyuhyun's thoughts," Heechul said with a frown.
"I usually can't, so that's how I know he's ill. What is it, what's wrong with him?"
"They don't know," said Sungmin, who strangely enough looked rather calm and in control. "They're running tests. Zhou Mi, you should sit down."
"What happened to him?"
"He collapsed in the middle of dinner," said Donghae. "He was so cold, Yehsung said it was like ice, and then he just fainted."
"I should have been there," said Zhou Mi, looking like his world was crashing down. "I should have been there but I was being too stubborn--"
"You can't think like that," said Sungmin firmly. "It's not your fault. He'll be fine, you'll see."
Most of them decided to just go to bed, as the shock and worrying had tired them out. Ryeowook in particular looked dead on his feet, always one to feel things in extremes; he didn't look happy, though, at the prospect of staying in his room by himself for the night. Yehsung opened his mouth, saw the way Heechul was grinning at him, ready to make a lewd remark, then seemed to change his mind.
After much bullying from Heechul and Sungmin, Zhou Mi agreed to try to sleep. "You'll just make yourself ill if you stay up worrying," Heechul pointed out, and although Zhou Mi didn't look particularly well rested the next morning, something was better than nothing. After making sure that Zhou Mi did, in fact, go into his room, where Henry would have to deal with him, Heechul and Sungmin decided to commandeer Hankyung and Siwon's room for a short while.
Siwon stretched out on the floor so that his toes were pressed against the wall. He brought his toes back and then let them fall against it, and his big toe on his left foot went through it. "Oh," he said sadly, and pulled it back out, moving until he was sitting cross-legged. Sungmin, sitting on Siwon's bed holding his pillow to his stomach, smothered a laugh in it.
"You'll have to go ask to get that fixed," said Heechul in a bored tone, inspecting his hair for split ends. He was sitting on the end of Hankyung's bed and wouldn't leave so that the actual occupiers of the room could sleep.
"Don't you think that was kind of shocking, though, with Kyuhyun today?" Sungmin asked, biting his bottom lip. Heechul cast a quick look in Siwon's direction, then shrugged.
"I guess."
"I hope he's okay. You think he'll be okay, right?"
"Of course, hyung," said Siwon reassuringly. "He'll be fine. They'll find out what's wrong and then they'll be able to give him the right treatment."
"I hope you're right," said Sungmin. Then, deceptively casual, he said, "You guys say how Zhou Mi was, right? He was beside himself. He probably wouldn't even be able to tell you his name right now, never mind anything else."
"Seasoning," Heechul said, "is a girl."
"I don't feel like that," said Sungmin. He said it with the air of dropping a great, important bombshell, which landed flat because everyone just blinked at him. "I don't feel -- I mean, I'm worried, obviously. I'm scared for him, and all that, but I don't feel -- I'm not distraught, like Zhou Mi. I don't want to run to his bedside and fling myself beside him and sob that he needs to open his eyes, as much of an awesome picture as that paints. I don't feel like that."
"For god's sake," said Heechul. "How hard is it to admit that you simply do not like Kyuhyun in that way anymore?"
There was a long pause, before Sungmin straightened his back and said imperiously, "I do not like Kyuhyun anymore." Then he slumped a little and repeated wonderingly, "I don't like Kyuhyun anymore. I don't."
"There," said Heechul, a semi-smile on his face. "Was that so hard?"
"But I've always liked Kyuhyun," said Sungmin, looking and sounding confused.
"Well, not anymore."
"How do I -- I'm sorry, I'm confused. How am I supposed to -- what the--"
"Oh my god, Sungmin, liking Kyuhyun did not make up an integral part of your life, okay? It didn't define you, so stop acting as though it did."
"Look, it's not that, it's just that I've liked him for so long, it feels -- odd."
"Your face is odd," said Heechul darkly.
"No, it isn't," said Siwon. "Sungmin-hyung has a nice face." Sungmin blushed and glanced down at his hands, but apparently didn't make any connection between that and what they had just been talking about. Heechul groaned and flopped down on the bed, head against Hankyung's calf.
"Is everyone around me stupid?" he grumbled.
"Yeah, probably," said Hankyung.
***
Kyuhyun was still missing the next day, and no news filtered down through to them. Control classes were cancelled for all years, which suggested that Hyori was at the hospital with him. By lunch, everyone's nerves were frazzled, after a particularly harrowing lesson with Park, in which she kept wondering out loud about "poor Kyuhyun's condition" and seemed to take great happiness in the fact that he might be getting worse. Only constant muttering of obscenities under his breath kept Heechul from standing up and punching her.
Eeteuk was missing too, which was perhaps the only reason why Park even felt like she could get away with half of the things she said. After class finished at midday, Kangin jumped up and rushed out, going to check up on Eeteuk and make sure that he was eating okay. It meant that they were without both Kangin's domineering presence and Eeteuk's reputation in the school when they walked into the lunch hall only for every single person there to fall silent, staring at them.
"The fuck?" asked Yehsung in a whisper as they picked their way through the tables to where those of their friends in lower years were already sitting. Eyes followed them, even as whispering started up again. Hankyung began to notice that actually, it was not them generally that the staring was directed at: every pair of eyes was focused on him. It was apparently something that Heechul noticed too, since he reached back and gripped Hankyung's wrist so hard that his nails almost dug in. A girl at a table near them gasped in shock at his daring at getting so close to Hankyung's hand.
Heechul opened his mouth furiously, but Hankyung shook his head and stepped a little closer to murmur, "Don't, just leave it." He wanted to get to the others and find out what had happened, why silence and staring filled the room when he walked in. By the time they got there, most of the noise had started up again, though a few eyes still lingered on him. Everyone already sitting looked confused, apart from those in their first year: Ryeowook was poking at his rice, while Siwon had his head bowed. Henry seemed to be stuffing his face with food so that if anyone asked, he wouldn't be able to reply.
"Okay," said Yehsung, sighing as he sat and put an arm across Ryeowook's shoulders. "Come on, spill. What was that all about?"
"I don't know what you mean," whispered Ryeowook, hiding behind his hair. Yehsung gave him a little shake, then looked up in confusion when that didn't yield any results. Heechul took over.
"Hey, Siwon," he said, sitting down next to him. Siwon shied away a little. "Siwon. Siwon. Siwon. SIWON."
"What, hyung?"
"Tell us what just happened."
"You walked in and everyone went quiet."
Heechul's eyes narrowed. Hankyung took the seat next to him. "Don't try and play clever with me. Why did everyone go quiet? You clearly know why."
Siwon looked up only to give Hankyung a worried look. "Hyung, I don't want to--"
"Siwon."
"Someone is spreading a rumour that the reason Kyuhyun is missing is because -- because--"
"We know it's something to do with me," said Hankyung, heart sinking. "Just tell us, Siwon."
"Because Hankyung-hyung touched him. they were talking about it on our classes. They're saying that the reason Kyuhyun is missing is because Hankyung-hyung killed him."
Hankyung suddenly felt lightheaded and cold, felt like curling into a ball and never, ever unfurling. He lowered his head a little as everyone who hadn't already knew the rumour began talking over the top of one another, trying to find out where the rumour had started, who it had started with, how many people honestly believed it. Heechul's hand found Hankyung's wrist again, and then a voice cut over the top of them.
"Be careful, Kim, he might kill you, too."
Jaekyung had been quiet since that first incident on the lawn on Hankyung's first day, but apparently he had decided that now was his chance. Heechul turned to glare at him, and then laughed, bitterly. "So you're the one who started it." Jaekyung didn't answer. "I'm right, aren't I? Well, of course, you aren't going to admit it, but I'm right."
"You have to admit, it's a logical conclusion."
"Sure," said Heechul slowly, "except for the fact that -- and this is the clincher -- Kyuhyun isn't dead."
"How do you know?"
"Because he didn't die!" Ryeowook stood up and slammed his hand on the table, then blushed and sat back down, half turned to Yehsung when he repeated, "because he didn't die."
"I didn't kill him," said Hankyung softly, "and I'd like you to stop implying that I killed one of my friends."
Jaekyung sneered at him and attempted saying something, but was interrupted by commotion by the door. Zhou Mi, who had chosen to skip classes that day, ran in, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt which he had clearly pulled on in a hurry. "Ge!" he shrieked in Mandarin, running towards them. "Ge, you have to help, you have to get help--!"
"What the hell is he yelling about?" Heechul asked in a tense voice as Hankyung stood up slowly, Jaekyung forgotten. "Seasoning, what is it?"
Zhou Mi was so distraught that he didn't seem able to even speak Korean any longer. "It's Kui Xian, Kui Xian, he's -- he's gone quiet, ge. Ge, I can't hear his thoughts anymore."