(no subject)
I don't know where that plot bunny came from, nor why I indulged it. Compared to the rest of my bunnies, that one was remarkably well behaved.
I haven't written like that in a long time. Not just the first person aspect, although I haven't written any first person in a while either.
But just writing, without really censoring anything, without going back and trying to make it perfect...
I think that may have been exactly what I needed. No plot, no detail, just a story and a perspective.
I still can't say where it came from, but maybe that doesn't matter.
Maybe now I can relax and let things be what they are.
Maybe not, but it's a start.
-----
Because I want to see how well, I actually have it memorized...
"The Line", By Author Unknown
Excuse me, sir, but I believe you just stepped in front of me in the line.
(pause)
It's a pretty long line, and I've been waiting here in it a pretty long time.
(pause)
Sir, the package I am waiting to send weighs thity-seven pounds, and I don't have a whole lot of upper body arm strength.
(pause)
We live in a world where civilization as we know it teeters on the edge of a knife and, lest we decline into unmentionable chaos, we are reliant on courtesy.
(pause)
Excuse me? You asked who to save your place in line while you dealt with your car alarm? Did he ask you madam?
(pause)
Well, if you didn't ask her, whom did you ask?
(pause)
Sir, if the person you have asked to secure your place in line has subsequently left the line, your place is not secure.
(pause)
I should inform you that I am not considered by those who know me well a particularly stable personality. Historically I deal badly with stress, and in ways unsuitable to most social situations. In a cry for help, I ask you to step from out in front of me in the line.
(pause)
All right, as you are not amenable to reason, allow me to read you the warning on my label.
(pause)
About three years ago, a Mr. Bertrand Samocri swerved into a parking place I had waited long and patiently for. I then followed Mr. Samocri home, where I shot him with a tranquilizer dart obtained from my brother, a zookeeper, and then placed Mr. Samocri on a garbage scow sailing, I believe, for Central America. In his absence, I set fire to his garage and filled his pick-up truck with wet cement.
(pause)
Thank you, Sir. I deeply appreciate your responsible decision to leave the line. Allow me to wish you all the best. Bye.
(slightly longer pause)
Works every time.
I haven't written like that in a long time. Not just the first person aspect, although I haven't written any first person in a while either.
But just writing, without really censoring anything, without going back and trying to make it perfect...
I think that may have been exactly what I needed. No plot, no detail, just a story and a perspective.
I still can't say where it came from, but maybe that doesn't matter.
Maybe now I can relax and let things be what they are.
Maybe not, but it's a start.
-----
Because I want to see how well, I actually have it memorized...
"The Line", By Author Unknown
Excuse me, sir, but I believe you just stepped in front of me in the line.
(pause)
It's a pretty long line, and I've been waiting here in it a pretty long time.
(pause)
Sir, the package I am waiting to send weighs thity-seven pounds, and I don't have a whole lot of upper body arm strength.
(pause)
We live in a world where civilization as we know it teeters on the edge of a knife and, lest we decline into unmentionable chaos, we are reliant on courtesy.
(pause)
Excuse me? You asked who to save your place in line while you dealt with your car alarm? Did he ask you madam?
(pause)
Well, if you didn't ask her, whom did you ask?
(pause)
Sir, if the person you have asked to secure your place in line has subsequently left the line, your place is not secure.
(pause)
I should inform you that I am not considered by those who know me well a particularly stable personality. Historically I deal badly with stress, and in ways unsuitable to most social situations. In a cry for help, I ask you to step from out in front of me in the line.
(pause)
All right, as you are not amenable to reason, allow me to read you the warning on my label.
(pause)
About three years ago, a Mr. Bertrand Samocri swerved into a parking place I had waited long and patiently for. I then followed Mr. Samocri home, where I shot him with a tranquilizer dart obtained from my brother, a zookeeper, and then placed Mr. Samocri on a garbage scow sailing, I believe, for Central America. In his absence, I set fire to his garage and filled his pick-up truck with wet cement.
(pause)
Thank you, Sir. I deeply appreciate your responsible decision to leave the line. Allow me to wish you all the best. Bye.
(slightly longer pause)
Works every time.