Unspoken things
(Alternative title: How did I Go From Traditional Medicine to the the Effects of Societal Change in Saudi Arabia on Parenting?)
There's a sort of traditional medical procedure in Arabia that's probably adapted from traditional Chinese medicine's moxibustion. It involves heating a blade until it's red or nearly red and lightly pressing the blade to the heel of the foot for less than a second, multiple times. We call it "kawwiy al-ka'b" (كوي الكعب) meaning "heel ironing."
My dad uses it to treat abdominal pain due to the cold (we're rather prone to getting sick due to the cold in general). Works much faster than medicine, relief's almost immediate! Apparently, you don't feel a thing when it's done too, because the heat goes right up. Never had it done myself, though.
It looks scary, though, and when I was a little kid, I used to get frightened anytime my well meaning father suggested ironing my feet if I complained about the cold. xD;
My dad really likes traditional medicine in general, though. He's also fond of cupping.
My dad's nearly sixty, so the generation gap is quite big; he's more traditional than most fathers nowadays, at least most city dads around here, so with the way I've been brought up, I'm frequently surprised by how different other girls' fathers sound.
I guess to them, my father probably sounds more like one of their grandparents...
I don't mind the little differences in the way they raise their daughters, even if some of the things they do sound unthinkable to me; I can't imagine a better combination than the father I got. I'm very lucky to have him. He's very traditional, but he's always been forward thinking. He's never pushed me into wearing the hijab, for example. I wore it of my own accord, when my faith strengthened. I remember the day he realized I was starting to wear it because I wanted to... in Saudi Arabia, I had to wear the 'abaya, but when we went to Bahrain, I typically took it off in the car. That day, he told me I could take it off when we arrived, like usual, but I told him "no, I want to wear it" and he was so happy and proud that day.
He just advises and watches over me, never forcing me.
I hear about these other girls' fathers and how little they trust their daughters to make their own decisions and I feel sorry for them, even if I can understand why (some of them are very reckless and seem like the sort who'll make every bad decision possible if given the chance), but at the same time, I get bothered when girls show so much disrespect to those who raised them or insult them.
Maybe it's because I was raised with very traditional mores in place, even if they weren't imposed on me, they surrounded me and became my norm. I'm bad at understanding people, sure, but there are some little things that seem to me to be perfectly obvious. I try to rely on myself as much as I can and not burden others, so when people make requests that others will fulfill without considering the fact that maybe, the person fulfilling them simply won't tell you it will trouble or overburden them to do it, I feel upset. "Why can't you see that? Why don't you understand?! Some things don't need to be- or can't be- spoken, just understood."
I think more families should try to be as understanding of unspoken things. If you're facing new problems previous generations haven't, the answer isn't to shut off communication, but to become more in tune and listen, even more than before.
There's a sort of traditional medical procedure in Arabia that's probably adapted from traditional Chinese medicine's moxibustion. It involves heating a blade until it's red or nearly red and lightly pressing the blade to the heel of the foot for less than a second, multiple times. We call it "kawwiy al-ka'b" (كوي الكعب) meaning "heel ironing."
My dad uses it to treat abdominal pain due to the cold (we're rather prone to getting sick due to the cold in general). Works much faster than medicine, relief's almost immediate! Apparently, you don't feel a thing when it's done too, because the heat goes right up. Never had it done myself, though.
It looks scary, though, and when I was a little kid, I used to get frightened anytime my well meaning father suggested ironing my feet if I complained about the cold. xD;
My dad really likes traditional medicine in general, though. He's also fond of cupping.
My dad's nearly sixty, so the generation gap is quite big; he's more traditional than most fathers nowadays, at least most city dads around here, so with the way I've been brought up, I'm frequently surprised by how different other girls' fathers sound.
I guess to them, my father probably sounds more like one of their grandparents...
I don't mind the little differences in the way they raise their daughters, even if some of the things they do sound unthinkable to me; I can't imagine a better combination than the father I got. I'm very lucky to have him. He's very traditional, but he's always been forward thinking. He's never pushed me into wearing the hijab, for example. I wore it of my own accord, when my faith strengthened. I remember the day he realized I was starting to wear it because I wanted to... in Saudi Arabia, I had to wear the 'abaya, but when we went to Bahrain, I typically took it off in the car. That day, he told me I could take it off when we arrived, like usual, but I told him "no, I want to wear it" and he was so happy and proud that day.
He just advises and watches over me, never forcing me.
I hear about these other girls' fathers and how little they trust their daughters to make their own decisions and I feel sorry for them, even if I can understand why (some of them are very reckless and seem like the sort who'll make every bad decision possible if given the chance), but at the same time, I get bothered when girls show so much disrespect to those who raised them or insult them.
Maybe it's because I was raised with very traditional mores in place, even if they weren't imposed on me, they surrounded me and became my norm. I'm bad at understanding people, sure, but there are some little things that seem to me to be perfectly obvious. I try to rely on myself as much as I can and not burden others, so when people make requests that others will fulfill without considering the fact that maybe, the person fulfilling them simply won't tell you it will trouble or overburden them to do it, I feel upset. "Why can't you see that? Why don't you understand?! Some things don't need to be- or can't be- spoken, just understood."
I think more families should try to be as understanding of unspoken things. If you're facing new problems previous generations haven't, the answer isn't to shut off communication, but to become more in tune and listen, even more than before.