There's more to living than being alive
Some of you guys may be familiar with fandomsecrets. If you are not, it's a community basically like PostSecret which allows people to post secrets about their fandom lives. It is sometimes boring, often hilarious, generally full of fandom drama, and occasionally beautiful and touching. Today, though, there was a secret that absolutely broke my heart. It basically talked about how the OP had an office job that was not very fulfilling, a marriage that was not very fulfilling, and generally an unhappy life. Fantasy was his escape, to the point that he would rather spend more time there than being in the real world.
I was shocked to see the number of people who responded negatively, essentially telling him to quit bitching and make things better. I understand where the author is emotionally. Tackling life is really hard, and as much as people can say "well get up off your ass and fix it," it isn't so simple. Adventure stories have a big obvious problem to tackle. There is a Big Bad Evil Guy with a Big Evil Plan and the Hero rushes off to defeat the Evil and save the day and maybe even get the girl. IRL, your mortgage isn't evil and your job isn't evil and your wife isn't evil, but it's all difficult and exhausting. Most days it feels to me like living an ordinary life takes a hell of a lot more bravery than facing down the Bad Guy to save the world. Because day to day, you aren't saving the world. Whatever you do feels relatively insignificant. You feel small, and it seems like the whole world is working to make you feel smaller. In fantasy you can make a difference, be larger than life, come out on top, and succeed at something that gets you recognition and works for the good of everyone. How much more satisfying must that be than what the average American experiences?
I'm not going to advocate avoiding your real life and hiding yourself away in fantasy. That can only make things worse. But I hope that people can find some things in their everyday lives that make that sense of smallness feel a little less daunting. I hope that we can have better relationships with our families and like our jobs more and find some hope and passion to get us through every day. We all need it.
I was shocked to see the number of people who responded negatively, essentially telling him to quit bitching and make things better. I understand where the author is emotionally. Tackling life is really hard, and as much as people can say "well get up off your ass and fix it," it isn't so simple. Adventure stories have a big obvious problem to tackle. There is a Big Bad Evil Guy with a Big Evil Plan and the Hero rushes off to defeat the Evil and save the day and maybe even get the girl. IRL, your mortgage isn't evil and your job isn't evil and your wife isn't evil, but it's all difficult and exhausting. Most days it feels to me like living an ordinary life takes a hell of a lot more bravery than facing down the Bad Guy to save the world. Because day to day, you aren't saving the world. Whatever you do feels relatively insignificant. You feel small, and it seems like the whole world is working to make you feel smaller. In fantasy you can make a difference, be larger than life, come out on top, and succeed at something that gets you recognition and works for the good of everyone. How much more satisfying must that be than what the average American experiences?
I'm not going to advocate avoiding your real life and hiding yourself away in fantasy. That can only make things worse. But I hope that people can find some things in their everyday lives that make that sense of smallness feel a little less daunting. I hope that we can have better relationships with our families and like our jobs more and find some hope and passion to get us through every day. We all need it.