[Original Fiction] A Star
Note: This is a work of original fiction... and it's old. Reaaaally old. And it's horrible. But I thought I might just as well post it here, maybe someone will take a liking to it anyway. It's just a short story, and it's very vague and very... egh. I don't know. Anyway... It's Fantasy with magic and stuff, there's some blood and gore and death and despair... and angst. Otherwise, there's nothing special to it ^^' Enjoy - or don't, depending on the point of view, I guess.
A Star
I try not to breathe.
Of course, I realize that the attempt is futile, unnecessary even. But I just can’t help myself. The silence is pressing down so hard that I feel like every breath has the acoustic strength of a storm.
Darkness has settled over the rough landscapes of Resh like a heavy velvet blanket. The tiny stars, far away and out of reach, don’t shed enough light to illuminate this new moon night, despite shining bright and clear in the sky. On the contrary, the small specks seem to intensify the darkness surrounding them.
I feel like a star.
In a sense I show people the right way. They can align themselves with me and follow me. Blessed by the goddess Rayna I am a being of light and have many stories to tell. But tonight I am small and insignificant.
In front of me kneels the woman whose path I’ve always tried to lighten and whom I still would follow blindly. Leesya has come a long way from being the supposedly talentless fire mage with whom I found a partnership of convenience in the White Mountains such a long time ago. We stood side by side against many enemies; we saved hundreds of people all over the world. They call us heroes. Unlimited mutual trust and a steadfast friendship form a strong bond. It enables us to outgrow ourselves time and time again in order to master seemingly impossible tasks.
A strangely dark part of this companionship is Leesya’s younger sister Candra. She crouches next to me, staring into the distance and seeing nothing. Her pale fingers move over the dry desert ground as if in hopes of feeling the presence of ancient bones.
I am positive that the ground around the Moon Fortress is littered with people whose death even my holy chants can’t revoke.
Sometimes I find myself questioning how Candra and I can be so different and yet so similar. My gift allows the souls of the deceased to find their back to their bodies while the necromancer cuts the link between body and soul in order to create will-less minions. And yet I can’t deny that the gods gifted both of us with the ability to raise the dead somehow.
Somewhere in front of us the ground starts shaking. Something breaks the surface, fights its way out. It is twisted; it does not look right. Bones sticking out at odd angles, the remains of meat and sinews hanging loosely, swinging back and forth.
A disgusting wind chime.
“The stench will betray us before the Reshi can spot us”, I find myself protesting.
Candra’s lips move to form something I take is meant to be a smile. “Calm down, little Mairi. The Reshi have been straddling their own dirt in there for so long they’ll hardly mind a little decay.”
She always calls me little Mairi, despite me being the same age as her older sister. Maybe she sees my unshakable belief in the Light as childish naivety. It’s a fact that despite her youth Candra has never even been remotely childlike since she joined us.
Leesya has just turned around and is coming back towards us. She has been watching the Moon Fortress from a hiding-place behind a large boulder. Her thoughtful expression tells me what I need to now before she even opens her mouth. “I can’t see anything from back here. We have to get closer. And, please, make sure the minion is not spotted, Candra.”
These days she doesn’t even need to make an effort in order to think of everything. She has grown from someone who always tagged along reluctantly into a great leader.
Candra raises her right arm, an imperious gesture. Necromancy is noticeably different from the other branches of magic, for although you will immediately see the spell’s result, the magic itself is invisible. I am used to seeing Leesya shrouded in flames or throwing fireballs from her palms. I know that I myself am surrounded by a pale blue glow when I work my magic. Necromancy probably gives me the creeps because I just there’s nothing to grasp, no visual link between the caster and the target.
The Minion stumbled towards us. Its limbs twitch and with each step it causes a disgusting sound - dead flesh rubbing on dry bones. I do not know how often I have asked Leesya an Candra to hire mercenaries to defend us with sword and shield if need be in order to make the undead minions needless.
Candra just keeps explaining, as though talking to a clueless child, that although mercenaries would sure make good cannon fodder, no money in the world could buy the loyalty death forces onto a creature. I won’t budge an inch from my point; they are unnatural. Leesya trusts her sister. I don’t hold that against her; family ties are strong. It’s not Leesya’s judgement I doubt, but Candra’s.
“Do you think there are enough bones for a small group of minons?” Leesya notices my shocked expression and raises a hand in a conciliatory way. She always tries to stop us from digging out the old discussion. “Just in case. I’ve seen a few patrols. We don’t want to conquer the fortress - at least not today - but she should be prepared.”
Khash is in there. It is the only reason for us to return. We had to fight our way through the fortress once, when we tried landing on these shores, and usually we would have kept far away from here.
If it wasn’t for Khash, leader of the rebel army and rightful heir to the throne of Resh.
And then there’s Garin, of course.
The pirate offered to help us save Khash. For a price, of course. He frees Khash with us and in return we help him steal some valuable artefact hidden in the fortress. However, Garin’s loyalty seems to belong to the highest bidder. We don’t trust him.
That’s why we’re here, in the middle of the night, and watch the Moon Fortress. If we could take it from the Reshi, if only for a little while, it would be a small victory against our foes. The Moon Fortress’s harbour is the biggest one available to the country currently. To cut off our enemy’s main supply route for just a little while and to free Khash in the same instant would be perfect. At least, that’s what we would like to believe. After all, the fortress is heavily guarded and won’t be taken from the Reshi without a horrible fight we can’t possibly win.
Crouching low we sneak through the night. The pale walls rise not far from us, almost in reach, but you can’t get close to the entrance without making a detour along the shore - over exposed bridges and open beach.
I don’t like moving in the open like this.
The metal in Candra’s black hair chimes with every step she takes. Her armor’s leather creaks and her heavy boots make dull sounds on the slightly wet sand. Leesya is a dark shadow ahead of me; black hair over a black robe with a high collar. Only the silver linings on the black silk shimmer like ore.
I wonder what will give us away first - Candra’s noise, the minion’s stench, Leesya’s shimmering or the fear burning through my veins.
They say animals can smell fear. Of course, that’s not correct. Their senses are just fine enough to pick up tense muscles, laboured breathing and cold sweat. Bad enough.
The Reshi are monsters, but not animals. I doubt their instincts are better than any human’s, even if their cruelty exceeds everything. They bow to the God of Chaos and Destruction and I wonder how they can bow to them blindly like that? Maybe they don’t know what they’re doing. Some of them might not have a choice. Maybe they don’t want to live with this madness, but they have to because it’s not just their life on the line, but also that of family and friends. Those are too many maybes, though.
We freeze when we hear steps. Leesya curses under her breath. We are exposed, surrounded by sand and water and flat rock that offers no protection.
The steps are dulled by the sand, but they sound like marching. We have heard marching troops way too often to mistake the sound for anything else. Leesya’s head whips around in the darkness. I know that her mind is racing. She’s looking for shelter, for any way to flee. We can’t go back the way we came, the minion is too slow and would only give us away. I frantically try to come up with some clever solution, but to no avail. Why is Candra just standing there? How can she be so calm?
The soldiers are closing in on us. In a few heartbeats they will reach the bend ahead, take a few more steps around the boulders and spot us. For a second they might be frozen in surprise when we throw everything we have at them; Leesya’s fire, Candra’s undead, my faith.
We will die.
The thought strikes me without warning. Of course I always knew during our travels that we could have died. I woke often with the grim though whether that day could possibly be my last. But while I’ve been thinking about the possibility of death so far, I find myself sure that we will die this time. Why fight? Abaddon is a god intent on destroying the world. And we? We are three young women. What can we do against a god? All enemies before this one were powerful, yes, but much more vulnerable than a god.
Abaddon is as powerful and untouchable as my goddess Rayna herself. My head reels with the thought.
Am I that different from the people praying to Abaddon, placing their hopes and dreams and aims in his lap?
I have not time left to think this through. With worry I notice something flashing in Leesya’s eyes, and I know that it means danger. Maybe even more danger than a bunch of soldiers could present.
She stretches her hands out in front of her at stomach height, palms facing the ground. And then I understand. Leesya is not trained in the ways of earth magic. Fire runs through her veins, and she knows that she will never control any element the way she wields flames. Leesya started looking into earth more out of curiosity than any real intent to master it. Her first try to create a small earthquake failed quite spectacularly. And now it looks like our lives may very well depend on it.
An amber glow surrounds her pale hands. The ground right in front of our feet starts rumbling, and ever so slowly a hole starts to appear. It grows. Sand trickles into it from the sides. I can see Leesya fighting for control. When she nods, I don’t hesitate.
So what if she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing? It’s not like we have much of a choice.
We climb into the instable hole. The perfect hideout. The perfect grave.
Candra’s voice is firm. “Hold your breath.”
And then there is sand everywhere. I am surrounded by the silence of a grave. It feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on me. Air. My lungs burn. How long have we been down here? I have to breathe. I have to get out.
Desperately I try to fight the earth, but to no avail. I can’t move an inch.
We will die!
And then the ground opens up again and spews us out into the open. I cough, I retch, spit sand while I try to fill my lungs with air. I have no idea what’s up and dowwn, my eyes are stuck close with sand. Slowly, tears start to wash it away.
My hand touches bones and for a moment I see Leesya, skin and flesh torn away from the bones by sand. I shriek and hear loud voices coming closer.
“Fool!”
A hand clutches my arm, someone’s frantically wiping my face. Then I hear Leesya’s voice.
“They heard you, Mairi. We have to fight!”
Finally my vision clears. Candra’s eyes are dark with anger. And she is right - how could I be so stupid to alert the Reshi to our presence after we nearly escaped? It was only the minion I touched, Leesya has not been wounded… I can hear them running back towards us, shouting orders. And before I can gather my wits, before I can beg forgiveness, an arrow strikes the ground next to me.
“Back, Mairi!” Leesya yells and I hurry to put some distance between us. We all now that I’m of no use when I get caught in the battle.
Candra sends her minion forwards to distract the Reshi’s blades. Almost at the same time she seems to send the tendrils of her mind outwards, searching the bodies of those creatures that died on these shores to create more minions as fast as possible. We have no time, this is a fight for our life.
The first minion is next to Leesya when she sends a burst of flames towards the enemies to push them back. They scream and try to protect their faces from the heat.
Leesya uses the confusion to her advantage and runs back towards Candra. The sword fighters focus on the minion, who is suddenly supported by a second undead. In the magical fire’s light I can see some Reshi pale and stumble backwards. I almost feel compassionate towards them. Then I remember that they want to kill us.
The swords tear rotten flesh from dead bodies. Arrows get stuck between bones. Candra screams as she sacrifices her own blood for the dark creatures. Death magic tears wounds into her young body while an eerie glow surrounds the minions. Candra’s sacrifice lets their rotten bodies function for a while longer.
Silently I call to Rayna. Her warmth floods through my veins, collects in my hands. My fingertips find their way to a spot between Candra’s shoulder blades and I watch, satisfied, as the wounds on her body close. The blood remains on her pale skin, painting patterns and transforming her into something wild and scary.
The air is heavy with the stench of burnt flesh. The Reshi scream. Somebody threw themselves into the shallow water close to the shore in a desperate attempt to put out the flames. Fire magic is cruel.
“Watch out!”
Candra pulls me aside, just in time. An arrow is stuck in the ground, right where I stood a second ago. My heart is racing. What is wrong with me? I’ve never lost my focus in battle before.
“Stay further back, little one, else…”
The rest of Candra’s words are lost in a strange gurgle. Shocked, I tear my gaze from the arrow and look at her.
Time stands still. Candra’s neck is elegant. The arrow sticking out from the side does not change that. She chokes, eyes widening but the light in them diminishes. I am frozen, staring at her. It’s like my mind knows what’s happening but can’t process it.
The grip she has on my arm gets painfully tight for a moment, then it loosens slowly, too slowly, and Candra sinks to the ground. The eyes are still wide open, dull and lifeless. Death took its servant, holds her hand and leads her away. She is lost, but I can, I must, and yet my throat won’t work. I want to start the holy chant that will raise her, but my lips are sealed.
“RUN!”
Reality catches up to me. Flames shoot into the sky somewhere ahead of me. When their mistress slipped into death, the undead minions lost their bond to her. They will attack anything standing in their way now. Even Leesya. Even me.
She yells at me again while she’s desperately trying to fight back undead and Reshi alike. The tables have turned. We will die.
I stop thinking, turn around and flee into the darkness.
My heart beats the rhythm of war drums in my chest. They will kill Leesya or do something worse, and then they’ll be after me. Just because we sided with Khash. Just because we tried to help.
Just because of Abaddon’s attempt to take over.
And he will succeed.
We can’t stop them. Our lives are meaningless, for we are not strong enough. We are like tiny stars in the night sky, irrelevant.
I hear someone sobbing and fall to my knees as I realize it’s me. Tears stream down my cheeks and I cry like I never did before. Why us? Why is this burden put upon our shoulders? No one can expect us to save the world against all odds over and over again - let the gods pick other heroes! I can’t go on anymore, I don’t want to.
Gasping, I rise to my feet again. My chest aches, my knees are bruised and my heart is bleeding.
Silence.
I am alone. Completely alone. Between me and Khash’s army lie too much sand and too many beasts - wild animals and Reshi alike. I wish we had listened to Garin. Right now I’d rather march up to the Moon Fortress disguised as a Reshi soldier, my heart pounding in my throat, than stand at the shore alone and devastated.
It’s too silent.
I can’t even hear the roaring flames in the distance anymore. The screaming stopped.
It’s not a good sign.
Without turning around I move through the night, silent once more. I try to ban thoughts of what happened from my mind. Candra and Leesya have fallen and I have no hope of getting back to Khash’s hideout on my own. I can only hope that death, in whatever way it may come, will be quick and merciful.
I left the gates of the fortress behind me, sneaked by undetected. Now I stand at a small wooden bridge and I feel weak.
Everyone left me, even my goddess. The Reshi are looking for me and they will find me soon. But loyalty is still pulling on my heart. I cannot give in to my downfall without a fight. What a cruel way to betray Leesya and her ideals that would be. I know I won’t survive out here without help, but I won’t stand around and wait for a deadly arrow.
Slowly I move down to the water running underneath the bridge. One careless movement and a splash of water might give my position away more quickly than I can accept. Just like my undignified screech back then.
It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes ago that everything happened. Still, it feels like a lifetime. Life changes too fast. Just one step, one breath, and nothing is like it used to be.
The world underneath the bridge is another one altogether. Shadow and light are dancing on the vaulted wood. The water is cool and the smell of the sea is stronger than on the beach. For a moment I let myself glide under the surface, allow myself to enjoy the illusion of peace. Everything is quite, gravity has not as strong a pull and reality seems like something altogether flexible.
Then I need air and am reminded painfully of our hideout beneath the earth. When I come up it is not just salt water wetting my cheeks.
The silence is once more broken by marching soldiers. So Leesya has truly fallen, then? The knowledge is so much worse than the nagging doubt. The Reshi are not even trying to cover up the fact that they are approaching. Why would they? They think I can’t escape, and they are right. Still, I hold onto the resolution not to make it easy, in memory of my comrades.
I try not to breathe.
The first boot touches the wood above me and I glide a little deeper into the water. My eyes stare straight upwards, even though I can’t see much through the small cracks between the planks.
The bridge trembles with heavy footsteps. I can hear the soldiers talking and laughing. Sometimes I wish I’d studied foreign languages and cultures, for then I might’ve been able to understand what they’re saying. Not knowing what’s going on around me is cruel in itself.
Do they know I’m under the bridge? Are they joking about me, enjoying the fact that they trapped me like an animal?
There they are again, war drums in my chest. Scared suspense makes it hard for me to breathe. Having accepted death does not mean not fearing it. Now that Rayna seems to far away, I’m not sure what to expect once Ver, God of Death, claims me.
Someone is slowly moving over the bridge. The wood creaks. The sound of every step echoes loudly in my ears, drowning the sound of my racing heart.
A splash.
Someone stepped into the water. I’m feeling cold all of a sudden. It’s going to be over in a matter of seconds. Oh, Rayna, where are you?
And where is the heat coming from? The light of roaring flames filters through the bridge’s cracks all of a sudden.
All hell breaks loose.
I jump from my hiding place before the heat burns away all the air in my lungs. The Reshi are not paying any attention to me. They are focused on the flame shrouded demon not far from the bridge.
Leesya.
Her arms are spread to the sides. In front of her forehead the Flame Eye glows, a magical artifact we retrieved years ago, legacy of an ancient race. It is a powerful thing, strengthening her fire magic and feeding from her emotions. A wild sound fills the air. It is Leesya, screaming, full of anger and hate, full of pain and loss. And before the Reshi can try to attack or defend, they are engulfed in a magical firestorm.
“Murderers!”
Leesya’s revenge is a sea of tears and flames, and I can’t do anything but stand still and watch. Finally the last flames die out and all that’s left of the soldiers is burnt flesh.
Noise is reaching our ears, noise coming from the fortress’s walls. We don’t have much time to get back to Khash’s hideout. Even Leesya’s strongest fire can’t take on the whole fortress.
We don’t need any words. I don’t need to thank her. We saved each other’s lives so often in the past that we don’t need to express our feelings about it anymore. Gazing into each other’s eyes and seeing the life in them is more than enough.
We run back the way we came, past the bridge leading to the gates. The soldiers are heading out and their blades are thirsting for our blood.
“Candra?” I gasp. I’ve got a nasty cramp in my leg, but I force my body not to slow down, not to give in. Hold on for a while longer. Just long enough, just this time.
“Garin followed us.” Leesya keeps staring straight ahead as she runs. “Rayna’s shrine, then the hideout.”
We glance at each other from the corners of our eyes, then speed up some more. Can we trust Garin? When we reach the shrine, not far from the passage separating us from the hideout, our fears are quenched. For now at least.
Candra lies on the altar, lifeless, but now I can do something about that. It’s not too late yet. Her sight still brings tears to my eyes. The gods’ blessing has diminished. We are not untouchable; we are mortal, just like anybody else. Our gods won’t stand at our sides in this fight. We will die.
“It’s about time. Quickly now, the Reshi are right behind you. I already removed the arrow.”
Garin’s heavy accent pushes me into motion. Exhausted I drop down next to Candra and place my hands on the wound in her neck. It is Rayna’s magic flowing through my hands and closing the gruesome hole in her neck, but my thoughts are focused on Ver. Will he be merciful with those whom Rayna left?
Not tearing her eyes from her sister’s dead body, Leesya explains to me how she survived. “If someone told me something like that I’d declare them mad. And still… an arrow hit me, but it got stuck right between my chest and my arm. There’s nothing more than a nasty scratch there. I just… slumped to the ground and stayed like that. They thought I was dead.” She shakes her head. “The gods must have…” A shrug.
Those were not the gods. It was a coincidence, luck. You can’t rely on it. Sometimes it’s with you, sometimes it’s not. Well, actually that seems a bit like the gods to me right now. They have been with us, and now they are not. Rayna’s powers don’t tingle along my veins like they used to, the comforting warmth is gone.
Leesya and Garin stand next to the corpse, heads bowed, maybe in prayer, maybe in thought. I start singing the holy verses that will lead Candra back to us. It is a sad song and despite the warm air I feel goose bumps on my arms. For the first time I realize that I’m not singing for Rayna but for Ver to release my friend’s soul.
Grey eyes fill with life. The body arches up; she coughs and gasps for air. A tear rolls down her cheek and she sobs once. I want to ask her what death feels like, but I don’t dare. I will find out soon enough.
Leesya supports her sister while Garin presses us on. The soldiers will find us soon and it’s very questionable whether we’ll have that much luck a second time.
My gaze rests on Rayna’s statue for a moment, on the compassionate features of my goddess.
“You failed me.”
Silence.
I hear running steps, shouting. The Reshi are dangerously close once more.
Why should she answer, why should she even bother to send a sign? She left me, obviously. I’m as insignificant to her as a star in the night sky. She dropped me here in this rough land, into the middle of a war I want to have no part of. Still, believing in her I have pledged myself to the supposed good cause. I have defended the innocent and have set myself upon the path of self destruction in the attempt of fighting that which can’t be defeated.
This is the night in which I lose my faith. From now on I’m going to move on foreign, rocky paths. It will be weeks, months even, until I realize that I did Rayna wrong. It will take a lot of time for me to realize that she held her protecting hands over Leesya that night. And even though she did not directly reveal her help to me, who I was practically begging for it, she protected me in her own way.
But as I said, that revelation lies in the future. Right now I am Mairi, hurt, confused and angered, and I don’t see that we can only read the answers in the sky when every star is right where it belongs.
~*~
Fin - and didn't I tell you it was bad?
A Star
I try not to breathe.
Of course, I realize that the attempt is futile, unnecessary even. But I just can’t help myself. The silence is pressing down so hard that I feel like every breath has the acoustic strength of a storm.
Darkness has settled over the rough landscapes of Resh like a heavy velvet blanket. The tiny stars, far away and out of reach, don’t shed enough light to illuminate this new moon night, despite shining bright and clear in the sky. On the contrary, the small specks seem to intensify the darkness surrounding them.
I feel like a star.
In a sense I show people the right way. They can align themselves with me and follow me. Blessed by the goddess Rayna I am a being of light and have many stories to tell. But tonight I am small and insignificant.
In front of me kneels the woman whose path I’ve always tried to lighten and whom I still would follow blindly. Leesya has come a long way from being the supposedly talentless fire mage with whom I found a partnership of convenience in the White Mountains such a long time ago. We stood side by side against many enemies; we saved hundreds of people all over the world. They call us heroes. Unlimited mutual trust and a steadfast friendship form a strong bond. It enables us to outgrow ourselves time and time again in order to master seemingly impossible tasks.
A strangely dark part of this companionship is Leesya’s younger sister Candra. She crouches next to me, staring into the distance and seeing nothing. Her pale fingers move over the dry desert ground as if in hopes of feeling the presence of ancient bones.
I am positive that the ground around the Moon Fortress is littered with people whose death even my holy chants can’t revoke.
Sometimes I find myself questioning how Candra and I can be so different and yet so similar. My gift allows the souls of the deceased to find their back to their bodies while the necromancer cuts the link between body and soul in order to create will-less minions. And yet I can’t deny that the gods gifted both of us with the ability to raise the dead somehow.
Somewhere in front of us the ground starts shaking. Something breaks the surface, fights its way out. It is twisted; it does not look right. Bones sticking out at odd angles, the remains of meat and sinews hanging loosely, swinging back and forth.
A disgusting wind chime.
“The stench will betray us before the Reshi can spot us”, I find myself protesting.
Candra’s lips move to form something I take is meant to be a smile. “Calm down, little Mairi. The Reshi have been straddling their own dirt in there for so long they’ll hardly mind a little decay.”
She always calls me little Mairi, despite me being the same age as her older sister. Maybe she sees my unshakable belief in the Light as childish naivety. It’s a fact that despite her youth Candra has never even been remotely childlike since she joined us.
Leesya has just turned around and is coming back towards us. She has been watching the Moon Fortress from a hiding-place behind a large boulder. Her thoughtful expression tells me what I need to now before she even opens her mouth. “I can’t see anything from back here. We have to get closer. And, please, make sure the minion is not spotted, Candra.”
These days she doesn’t even need to make an effort in order to think of everything. She has grown from someone who always tagged along reluctantly into a great leader.
Candra raises her right arm, an imperious gesture. Necromancy is noticeably different from the other branches of magic, for although you will immediately see the spell’s result, the magic itself is invisible. I am used to seeing Leesya shrouded in flames or throwing fireballs from her palms. I know that I myself am surrounded by a pale blue glow when I work my magic. Necromancy probably gives me the creeps because I just there’s nothing to grasp, no visual link between the caster and the target.
The Minion stumbled towards us. Its limbs twitch and with each step it causes a disgusting sound - dead flesh rubbing on dry bones. I do not know how often I have asked Leesya an Candra to hire mercenaries to defend us with sword and shield if need be in order to make the undead minions needless.
Candra just keeps explaining, as though talking to a clueless child, that although mercenaries would sure make good cannon fodder, no money in the world could buy the loyalty death forces onto a creature. I won’t budge an inch from my point; they are unnatural. Leesya trusts her sister. I don’t hold that against her; family ties are strong. It’s not Leesya’s judgement I doubt, but Candra’s.
“Do you think there are enough bones for a small group of minons?” Leesya notices my shocked expression and raises a hand in a conciliatory way. She always tries to stop us from digging out the old discussion. “Just in case. I’ve seen a few patrols. We don’t want to conquer the fortress - at least not today - but she should be prepared.”
Khash is in there. It is the only reason for us to return. We had to fight our way through the fortress once, when we tried landing on these shores, and usually we would have kept far away from here.
If it wasn’t for Khash, leader of the rebel army and rightful heir to the throne of Resh.
And then there’s Garin, of course.
The pirate offered to help us save Khash. For a price, of course. He frees Khash with us and in return we help him steal some valuable artefact hidden in the fortress. However, Garin’s loyalty seems to belong to the highest bidder. We don’t trust him.
That’s why we’re here, in the middle of the night, and watch the Moon Fortress. If we could take it from the Reshi, if only for a little while, it would be a small victory against our foes. The Moon Fortress’s harbour is the biggest one available to the country currently. To cut off our enemy’s main supply route for just a little while and to free Khash in the same instant would be perfect. At least, that’s what we would like to believe. After all, the fortress is heavily guarded and won’t be taken from the Reshi without a horrible fight we can’t possibly win.
Crouching low we sneak through the night. The pale walls rise not far from us, almost in reach, but you can’t get close to the entrance without making a detour along the shore - over exposed bridges and open beach.
I don’t like moving in the open like this.
The metal in Candra’s black hair chimes with every step she takes. Her armor’s leather creaks and her heavy boots make dull sounds on the slightly wet sand. Leesya is a dark shadow ahead of me; black hair over a black robe with a high collar. Only the silver linings on the black silk shimmer like ore.
I wonder what will give us away first - Candra’s noise, the minion’s stench, Leesya’s shimmering or the fear burning through my veins.
They say animals can smell fear. Of course, that’s not correct. Their senses are just fine enough to pick up tense muscles, laboured breathing and cold sweat. Bad enough.
The Reshi are monsters, but not animals. I doubt their instincts are better than any human’s, even if their cruelty exceeds everything. They bow to the God of Chaos and Destruction and I wonder how they can bow to them blindly like that? Maybe they don’t know what they’re doing. Some of them might not have a choice. Maybe they don’t want to live with this madness, but they have to because it’s not just their life on the line, but also that of family and friends. Those are too many maybes, though.
We freeze when we hear steps. Leesya curses under her breath. We are exposed, surrounded by sand and water and flat rock that offers no protection.
The steps are dulled by the sand, but they sound like marching. We have heard marching troops way too often to mistake the sound for anything else. Leesya’s head whips around in the darkness. I know that her mind is racing. She’s looking for shelter, for any way to flee. We can’t go back the way we came, the minion is too slow and would only give us away. I frantically try to come up with some clever solution, but to no avail. Why is Candra just standing there? How can she be so calm?
The soldiers are closing in on us. In a few heartbeats they will reach the bend ahead, take a few more steps around the boulders and spot us. For a second they might be frozen in surprise when we throw everything we have at them; Leesya’s fire, Candra’s undead, my faith.
We will die.
The thought strikes me without warning. Of course I always knew during our travels that we could have died. I woke often with the grim though whether that day could possibly be my last. But while I’ve been thinking about the possibility of death so far, I find myself sure that we will die this time. Why fight? Abaddon is a god intent on destroying the world. And we? We are three young women. What can we do against a god? All enemies before this one were powerful, yes, but much more vulnerable than a god.
Abaddon is as powerful and untouchable as my goddess Rayna herself. My head reels with the thought.
Am I that different from the people praying to Abaddon, placing their hopes and dreams and aims in his lap?
I have not time left to think this through. With worry I notice something flashing in Leesya’s eyes, and I know that it means danger. Maybe even more danger than a bunch of soldiers could present.
She stretches her hands out in front of her at stomach height, palms facing the ground. And then I understand. Leesya is not trained in the ways of earth magic. Fire runs through her veins, and she knows that she will never control any element the way she wields flames. Leesya started looking into earth more out of curiosity than any real intent to master it. Her first try to create a small earthquake failed quite spectacularly. And now it looks like our lives may very well depend on it.
An amber glow surrounds her pale hands. The ground right in front of our feet starts rumbling, and ever so slowly a hole starts to appear. It grows. Sand trickles into it from the sides. I can see Leesya fighting for control. When she nods, I don’t hesitate.
So what if she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing? It’s not like we have much of a choice.
We climb into the instable hole. The perfect hideout. The perfect grave.
Candra’s voice is firm. “Hold your breath.”
And then there is sand everywhere. I am surrounded by the silence of a grave. It feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on me. Air. My lungs burn. How long have we been down here? I have to breathe. I have to get out.
Desperately I try to fight the earth, but to no avail. I can’t move an inch.
We will die!
And then the ground opens up again and spews us out into the open. I cough, I retch, spit sand while I try to fill my lungs with air. I have no idea what’s up and dowwn, my eyes are stuck close with sand. Slowly, tears start to wash it away.
My hand touches bones and for a moment I see Leesya, skin and flesh torn away from the bones by sand. I shriek and hear loud voices coming closer.
“Fool!”
A hand clutches my arm, someone’s frantically wiping my face. Then I hear Leesya’s voice.
“They heard you, Mairi. We have to fight!”
Finally my vision clears. Candra’s eyes are dark with anger. And she is right - how could I be so stupid to alert the Reshi to our presence after we nearly escaped? It was only the minion I touched, Leesya has not been wounded… I can hear them running back towards us, shouting orders. And before I can gather my wits, before I can beg forgiveness, an arrow strikes the ground next to me.
“Back, Mairi!” Leesya yells and I hurry to put some distance between us. We all now that I’m of no use when I get caught in the battle.
Candra sends her minion forwards to distract the Reshi’s blades. Almost at the same time she seems to send the tendrils of her mind outwards, searching the bodies of those creatures that died on these shores to create more minions as fast as possible. We have no time, this is a fight for our life.
The first minion is next to Leesya when she sends a burst of flames towards the enemies to push them back. They scream and try to protect their faces from the heat.
Leesya uses the confusion to her advantage and runs back towards Candra. The sword fighters focus on the minion, who is suddenly supported by a second undead. In the magical fire’s light I can see some Reshi pale and stumble backwards. I almost feel compassionate towards them. Then I remember that they want to kill us.
The swords tear rotten flesh from dead bodies. Arrows get stuck between bones. Candra screams as she sacrifices her own blood for the dark creatures. Death magic tears wounds into her young body while an eerie glow surrounds the minions. Candra’s sacrifice lets their rotten bodies function for a while longer.
Silently I call to Rayna. Her warmth floods through my veins, collects in my hands. My fingertips find their way to a spot between Candra’s shoulder blades and I watch, satisfied, as the wounds on her body close. The blood remains on her pale skin, painting patterns and transforming her into something wild and scary.
The air is heavy with the stench of burnt flesh. The Reshi scream. Somebody threw themselves into the shallow water close to the shore in a desperate attempt to put out the flames. Fire magic is cruel.
“Watch out!”
Candra pulls me aside, just in time. An arrow is stuck in the ground, right where I stood a second ago. My heart is racing. What is wrong with me? I’ve never lost my focus in battle before.
“Stay further back, little one, else…”
The rest of Candra’s words are lost in a strange gurgle. Shocked, I tear my gaze from the arrow and look at her.
Time stands still. Candra’s neck is elegant. The arrow sticking out from the side does not change that. She chokes, eyes widening but the light in them diminishes. I am frozen, staring at her. It’s like my mind knows what’s happening but can’t process it.
The grip she has on my arm gets painfully tight for a moment, then it loosens slowly, too slowly, and Candra sinks to the ground. The eyes are still wide open, dull and lifeless. Death took its servant, holds her hand and leads her away. She is lost, but I can, I must, and yet my throat won’t work. I want to start the holy chant that will raise her, but my lips are sealed.
“RUN!”
Reality catches up to me. Flames shoot into the sky somewhere ahead of me. When their mistress slipped into death, the undead minions lost their bond to her. They will attack anything standing in their way now. Even Leesya. Even me.
She yells at me again while she’s desperately trying to fight back undead and Reshi alike. The tables have turned. We will die.
I stop thinking, turn around and flee into the darkness.
My heart beats the rhythm of war drums in my chest. They will kill Leesya or do something worse, and then they’ll be after me. Just because we sided with Khash. Just because we tried to help.
Just because of Abaddon’s attempt to take over.
And he will succeed.
We can’t stop them. Our lives are meaningless, for we are not strong enough. We are like tiny stars in the night sky, irrelevant.
I hear someone sobbing and fall to my knees as I realize it’s me. Tears stream down my cheeks and I cry like I never did before. Why us? Why is this burden put upon our shoulders? No one can expect us to save the world against all odds over and over again - let the gods pick other heroes! I can’t go on anymore, I don’t want to.
Gasping, I rise to my feet again. My chest aches, my knees are bruised and my heart is bleeding.
Silence.
I am alone. Completely alone. Between me and Khash’s army lie too much sand and too many beasts - wild animals and Reshi alike. I wish we had listened to Garin. Right now I’d rather march up to the Moon Fortress disguised as a Reshi soldier, my heart pounding in my throat, than stand at the shore alone and devastated.
It’s too silent.
I can’t even hear the roaring flames in the distance anymore. The screaming stopped.
It’s not a good sign.
Without turning around I move through the night, silent once more. I try to ban thoughts of what happened from my mind. Candra and Leesya have fallen and I have no hope of getting back to Khash’s hideout on my own. I can only hope that death, in whatever way it may come, will be quick and merciful.
I left the gates of the fortress behind me, sneaked by undetected. Now I stand at a small wooden bridge and I feel weak.
Everyone left me, even my goddess. The Reshi are looking for me and they will find me soon. But loyalty is still pulling on my heart. I cannot give in to my downfall without a fight. What a cruel way to betray Leesya and her ideals that would be. I know I won’t survive out here without help, but I won’t stand around and wait for a deadly arrow.
Slowly I move down to the water running underneath the bridge. One careless movement and a splash of water might give my position away more quickly than I can accept. Just like my undignified screech back then.
It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes ago that everything happened. Still, it feels like a lifetime. Life changes too fast. Just one step, one breath, and nothing is like it used to be.
The world underneath the bridge is another one altogether. Shadow and light are dancing on the vaulted wood. The water is cool and the smell of the sea is stronger than on the beach. For a moment I let myself glide under the surface, allow myself to enjoy the illusion of peace. Everything is quite, gravity has not as strong a pull and reality seems like something altogether flexible.
Then I need air and am reminded painfully of our hideout beneath the earth. When I come up it is not just salt water wetting my cheeks.
The silence is once more broken by marching soldiers. So Leesya has truly fallen, then? The knowledge is so much worse than the nagging doubt. The Reshi are not even trying to cover up the fact that they are approaching. Why would they? They think I can’t escape, and they are right. Still, I hold onto the resolution not to make it easy, in memory of my comrades.
I try not to breathe.
The first boot touches the wood above me and I glide a little deeper into the water. My eyes stare straight upwards, even though I can’t see much through the small cracks between the planks.
The bridge trembles with heavy footsteps. I can hear the soldiers talking and laughing. Sometimes I wish I’d studied foreign languages and cultures, for then I might’ve been able to understand what they’re saying. Not knowing what’s going on around me is cruel in itself.
Do they know I’m under the bridge? Are they joking about me, enjoying the fact that they trapped me like an animal?
There they are again, war drums in my chest. Scared suspense makes it hard for me to breathe. Having accepted death does not mean not fearing it. Now that Rayna seems to far away, I’m not sure what to expect once Ver, God of Death, claims me.
Someone is slowly moving over the bridge. The wood creaks. The sound of every step echoes loudly in my ears, drowning the sound of my racing heart.
A splash.
Someone stepped into the water. I’m feeling cold all of a sudden. It’s going to be over in a matter of seconds. Oh, Rayna, where are you?
And where is the heat coming from? The light of roaring flames filters through the bridge’s cracks all of a sudden.
All hell breaks loose.
I jump from my hiding place before the heat burns away all the air in my lungs. The Reshi are not paying any attention to me. They are focused on the flame shrouded demon not far from the bridge.
Leesya.
Her arms are spread to the sides. In front of her forehead the Flame Eye glows, a magical artifact we retrieved years ago, legacy of an ancient race. It is a powerful thing, strengthening her fire magic and feeding from her emotions. A wild sound fills the air. It is Leesya, screaming, full of anger and hate, full of pain and loss. And before the Reshi can try to attack or defend, they are engulfed in a magical firestorm.
“Murderers!”
Leesya’s revenge is a sea of tears and flames, and I can’t do anything but stand still and watch. Finally the last flames die out and all that’s left of the soldiers is burnt flesh.
Noise is reaching our ears, noise coming from the fortress’s walls. We don’t have much time to get back to Khash’s hideout. Even Leesya’s strongest fire can’t take on the whole fortress.
We don’t need any words. I don’t need to thank her. We saved each other’s lives so often in the past that we don’t need to express our feelings about it anymore. Gazing into each other’s eyes and seeing the life in them is more than enough.
We run back the way we came, past the bridge leading to the gates. The soldiers are heading out and their blades are thirsting for our blood.
“Candra?” I gasp. I’ve got a nasty cramp in my leg, but I force my body not to slow down, not to give in. Hold on for a while longer. Just long enough, just this time.
“Garin followed us.” Leesya keeps staring straight ahead as she runs. “Rayna’s shrine, then the hideout.”
We glance at each other from the corners of our eyes, then speed up some more. Can we trust Garin? When we reach the shrine, not far from the passage separating us from the hideout, our fears are quenched. For now at least.
Candra lies on the altar, lifeless, but now I can do something about that. It’s not too late yet. Her sight still brings tears to my eyes. The gods’ blessing has diminished. We are not untouchable; we are mortal, just like anybody else. Our gods won’t stand at our sides in this fight. We will die.
“It’s about time. Quickly now, the Reshi are right behind you. I already removed the arrow.”
Garin’s heavy accent pushes me into motion. Exhausted I drop down next to Candra and place my hands on the wound in her neck. It is Rayna’s magic flowing through my hands and closing the gruesome hole in her neck, but my thoughts are focused on Ver. Will he be merciful with those whom Rayna left?
Not tearing her eyes from her sister’s dead body, Leesya explains to me how she survived. “If someone told me something like that I’d declare them mad. And still… an arrow hit me, but it got stuck right between my chest and my arm. There’s nothing more than a nasty scratch there. I just… slumped to the ground and stayed like that. They thought I was dead.” She shakes her head. “The gods must have…” A shrug.
Those were not the gods. It was a coincidence, luck. You can’t rely on it. Sometimes it’s with you, sometimes it’s not. Well, actually that seems a bit like the gods to me right now. They have been with us, and now they are not. Rayna’s powers don’t tingle along my veins like they used to, the comforting warmth is gone.
Leesya and Garin stand next to the corpse, heads bowed, maybe in prayer, maybe in thought. I start singing the holy verses that will lead Candra back to us. It is a sad song and despite the warm air I feel goose bumps on my arms. For the first time I realize that I’m not singing for Rayna but for Ver to release my friend’s soul.
Grey eyes fill with life. The body arches up; she coughs and gasps for air. A tear rolls down her cheek and she sobs once. I want to ask her what death feels like, but I don’t dare. I will find out soon enough.
Leesya supports her sister while Garin presses us on. The soldiers will find us soon and it’s very questionable whether we’ll have that much luck a second time.
My gaze rests on Rayna’s statue for a moment, on the compassionate features of my goddess.
“You failed me.”
Silence.
I hear running steps, shouting. The Reshi are dangerously close once more.
Why should she answer, why should she even bother to send a sign? She left me, obviously. I’m as insignificant to her as a star in the night sky. She dropped me here in this rough land, into the middle of a war I want to have no part of. Still, believing in her I have pledged myself to the supposed good cause. I have defended the innocent and have set myself upon the path of self destruction in the attempt of fighting that which can’t be defeated.
This is the night in which I lose my faith. From now on I’m going to move on foreign, rocky paths. It will be weeks, months even, until I realize that I did Rayna wrong. It will take a lot of time for me to realize that she held her protecting hands over Leesya that night. And even though she did not directly reveal her help to me, who I was practically begging for it, she protected me in her own way.
But as I said, that revelation lies in the future. Right now I am Mairi, hurt, confused and angered, and I don’t see that we can only read the answers in the sky when every star is right where it belongs.
~*~
Fin - and didn't I tell you it was bad?