[Fanfiction] Where You'll Be Safe
Title: Where You'll Be Safe
Warnings: friendship, fluff, hints of angst, no pairings
Rating: G
Fandom: JRock
Characters: Please read the story. You'll know who they are, I'm sure.
Disclaimer: I don't own L'Arc~en~Ciel or anything as awesome as them, really.
Note: As prompted by din_84 who wanted a fic based on the beautiful song "Magnolia" by The Hush Sound. In a way, this might be the most personal piece I've ever written.
Summary: Run where you'll be safe / Through the garden gates / To the shelter of magnolias.
Where You'll Be Safe
You are breaking.
When I first met you, I wanted to smack you against the wall to knock some sense into you, and at the same time shelter you from the world outside. A world not meant for the likes of you. I wanted to keep you by my side; not out of some romantic ideals but simply because I felt you were too precious and someone needed to make sure you never lost yourself.
A heart of gold is more fragile than one of ice, a light shining on the inside that struggles not to flicker too much in the storm.
You are failing.
Whenever you talk about your other projects, it makes me sick. Not because it's interfering with our work, but because I see it makes you happy just as much as it hurts you. All that pressure on your shoulders is too much. Back here you have all of us to shield you, to be strong for you and gently guide you over rocky patches. We all do that for you and for each other. However, when you're away from us, you don't even try to find the same support in others. Of course, you still treat them like equals, but you try to make them see a stronger side of you. You try so hard to find that strength within yourself, but you ultimately fail. You're not born for making harsh decisions or evoking discipline. Slowly but surely you are coming to terms with your own shortcomings; and even while you try desperately to hold onto your happiness, you are slipping off the edge, hurting and looking for a way out of something you love dearly without causing pain to those connected to it as well. You can take the pain only as long as it is your own. It's unbearable when it's someone else's.
A gentle spirit with strength but without hard edges. Maybe a borrowed angel, only much less religious and ethereal, yet less easy to grasp in human terms.
You are shattering.
People use you. Whether their eyes are blue or their lips sing praises, whether they depend on you for support or pretend they'll stand by your side forever, they ultimately only use you for their own advantage. In the end, all they need is to have your name on their lips and theirs on yours. It boosts them up, it makes the world listen to them, because your name and the mere hint of a connection to you is enough to shake things up. They pull you in when they can make good use of your company, but just like the girls interested in nothing more than a flash of naked, pale skin they are just in for the quick rush without paying attention to the complexity behind. A kiss for the rumour mill, reminiscing, flirting, spontaneously getting together; in the end they don't care to do what's best for you, just what gets them where they wish to be... and thus you're a means to their ends. The way they treat you taints you, because you don't want to see them that way. You want to believe in the good in people, want to give second chances hundreds of times and above all else you don't want to let them down.
A pure soul, flying high on wings glued together with honey and falling deep. An endless cycle, never ceasing, always twisting and turning and spinning and pulling.
You are falling.
You are always chasing that echo within yourself, and yet you never find the answer you need. Nothing keeps you satisfied for long, and so you end up inventing yourself anew so very often it makes my head spin. You hang your hope on people, those dear to you, those you can trust and those you pray won't end up using more of you than you can give them. Sometimes you hang your hope on melodies, fragments of a song, on tours or concerts, on designs and fleeting moments. They fill you for a while, tending to the inner fire that warms you just as much as it consumes you. Sometimes I worry your mind and heart will bend in on themselves, twisting you into different directions in the search of an answer to a question you can't phrase.
A flower can be beautiful even when the soft petals are dry and torn, the colours faded. The shadow of what it has once been, a sad monument with bent shoulders, crushed by the weight of the world.
You are running.
Not necessarily away from something, but maybe towards something. Safety. Shelter. You walk into the studio and for a moment I see it all; the despair, the fear of the future, the desperate hope, the weariness, the way you feel as though your life is slipping away. You look up, dark brown eyes true windows to an innocent soul. It's been a while since we've all been here, together. And then, just like that, you finally seem to register more than our bodies. You see us, the people that we are. You smile and you are back home, and I will be your shelter once again. Here you will be safe from the world, because at home you can truly let your guard down and allow me to shield you, who has become so precious to me over the years.
In your smile, I see more than gladness to be back. I see that as you return to your roots, you also realize something about yourself. Through everything that happens, here and there, now and then, one feeling can't be taken from you. Your light shines brightly because even when it's hard, even when you fail and shatter and break, you love what you do. Being back here is enough to make you remember that, and I'm glad. This is why we love you, and this is why I will do anything to preserve you just the way you are, no matter where your steps take you. It's as though you can't help but feel this way even on your darkest day. It's what makes you such a special person; and it's why I want you to always come running back home to us when things are too much for you.
In the end, you are happy.
~*~
"Magnolia" ~ The Hush Sound:
Your heartbeat is pulsing at night in your chest
It's gold and it's glowing with all the life you have left
I received your words from hospitals where you felt alone
Your words like smoke, they made me sick but they kept me warm
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
Your eyes are like sea glass, so weathered and worn
From all they've seen of adolescence torn
The lovers who have tainted you, they pulled you into the night
They touched your skin with velvet gloves and made you feel alive
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
You are weathered and worn
Your petals soft and torn
The fading color
You have bent your shoulders
To hold the weight of the world
You will surely shatter
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
Warnings: friendship, fluff, hints of angst, no pairings
Rating: G
Fandom: JRock
Characters: Please read the story. You'll know who they are, I'm sure.
Disclaimer: I don't own L'Arc~en~Ciel or anything as awesome as them, really.
Note: As prompted by din_84 who wanted a fic based on the beautiful song "Magnolia" by The Hush Sound. In a way, this might be the most personal piece I've ever written.
Summary: Run where you'll be safe / Through the garden gates / To the shelter of magnolias.
Where You'll Be Safe
You are breaking.
When I first met you, I wanted to smack you against the wall to knock some sense into you, and at the same time shelter you from the world outside. A world not meant for the likes of you. I wanted to keep you by my side; not out of some romantic ideals but simply because I felt you were too precious and someone needed to make sure you never lost yourself.
A heart of gold is more fragile than one of ice, a light shining on the inside that struggles not to flicker too much in the storm.
You are failing.
Whenever you talk about your other projects, it makes me sick. Not because it's interfering with our work, but because I see it makes you happy just as much as it hurts you. All that pressure on your shoulders is too much. Back here you have all of us to shield you, to be strong for you and gently guide you over rocky patches. We all do that for you and for each other. However, when you're away from us, you don't even try to find the same support in others. Of course, you still treat them like equals, but you try to make them see a stronger side of you. You try so hard to find that strength within yourself, but you ultimately fail. You're not born for making harsh decisions or evoking discipline. Slowly but surely you are coming to terms with your own shortcomings; and even while you try desperately to hold onto your happiness, you are slipping off the edge, hurting and looking for a way out of something you love dearly without causing pain to those connected to it as well. You can take the pain only as long as it is your own. It's unbearable when it's someone else's.
A gentle spirit with strength but without hard edges. Maybe a borrowed angel, only much less religious and ethereal, yet less easy to grasp in human terms.
You are shattering.
People use you. Whether their eyes are blue or their lips sing praises, whether they depend on you for support or pretend they'll stand by your side forever, they ultimately only use you for their own advantage. In the end, all they need is to have your name on their lips and theirs on yours. It boosts them up, it makes the world listen to them, because your name and the mere hint of a connection to you is enough to shake things up. They pull you in when they can make good use of your company, but just like the girls interested in nothing more than a flash of naked, pale skin they are just in for the quick rush without paying attention to the complexity behind. A kiss for the rumour mill, reminiscing, flirting, spontaneously getting together; in the end they don't care to do what's best for you, just what gets them where they wish to be... and thus you're a means to their ends. The way they treat you taints you, because you don't want to see them that way. You want to believe in the good in people, want to give second chances hundreds of times and above all else you don't want to let them down.
A pure soul, flying high on wings glued together with honey and falling deep. An endless cycle, never ceasing, always twisting and turning and spinning and pulling.
You are falling.
You are always chasing that echo within yourself, and yet you never find the answer you need. Nothing keeps you satisfied for long, and so you end up inventing yourself anew so very often it makes my head spin. You hang your hope on people, those dear to you, those you can trust and those you pray won't end up using more of you than you can give them. Sometimes you hang your hope on melodies, fragments of a song, on tours or concerts, on designs and fleeting moments. They fill you for a while, tending to the inner fire that warms you just as much as it consumes you. Sometimes I worry your mind and heart will bend in on themselves, twisting you into different directions in the search of an answer to a question you can't phrase.
A flower can be beautiful even when the soft petals are dry and torn, the colours faded. The shadow of what it has once been, a sad monument with bent shoulders, crushed by the weight of the world.
You are running.
Not necessarily away from something, but maybe towards something. Safety. Shelter. You walk into the studio and for a moment I see it all; the despair, the fear of the future, the desperate hope, the weariness, the way you feel as though your life is slipping away. You look up, dark brown eyes true windows to an innocent soul. It's been a while since we've all been here, together. And then, just like that, you finally seem to register more than our bodies. You see us, the people that we are. You smile and you are back home, and I will be your shelter once again. Here you will be safe from the world, because at home you can truly let your guard down and allow me to shield you, who has become so precious to me over the years.
In your smile, I see more than gladness to be back. I see that as you return to your roots, you also realize something about yourself. Through everything that happens, here and there, now and then, one feeling can't be taken from you. Your light shines brightly because even when it's hard, even when you fail and shatter and break, you love what you do. Being back here is enough to make you remember that, and I'm glad. This is why we love you, and this is why I will do anything to preserve you just the way you are, no matter where your steps take you. It's as though you can't help but feel this way even on your darkest day. It's what makes you such a special person; and it's why I want you to always come running back home to us when things are too much for you.
In the end, you are happy.
~*~
"Magnolia" ~ The Hush Sound:
Your heartbeat is pulsing at night in your chest
It's gold and it's glowing with all the life you have left
I received your words from hospitals where you felt alone
Your words like smoke, they made me sick but they kept me warm
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
Your eyes are like sea glass, so weathered and worn
From all they've seen of adolescence torn
The lovers who have tainted you, they pulled you into the night
They touched your skin with velvet gloves and made you feel alive
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade
You are weathered and worn
Your petals soft and torn
The fading color
You have bent your shoulders
To hold the weight of the world
You will surely shatter
Run where you'll be safe
Through the garden gates
To the shelter of magnolias
There's not much time
The blush in the sky begins to fade