[Fanfiction] Redrum
Title: Redrum
Prompt: larkir - Murder or Suicide
Fandom: JRock
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde
Warnings: dark, character death
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Hyde, Gackt or anything that awesome at all, really.
Summary: Did you really believe you could deny me?
Redrum
So beautiful, my love.
I'm glad you came one last time. I know this is not easy - we did not part on the best of terms last time. Naturally, I will not apologize. You would just say there was nothing to forgive, and I would feel guilty because that's where our opinions run off in different directions. They do so often, but that's why being with you is so wonderful. We click as often as we clash. Our silences are frustrated as often as they are comfortable, we unsettle each other as often as we bring each other peace.
This is why I have fallen in love with you, my heart.
There is just something special in the dynamics between us, something in the way we fit together. It's not perfect harmony, for which I'm glad. Had we never clashed we also never would have grown closer together.
And still, my heart, I am sorry for what kept happening more and more often.
I know you never meant to lead me on. You have been honest with me from the start. The first time we were drunk and started kissing each other deeply you were shocked to the core. Back then our friendship was still rather fresh and the one thing you were worried about was hurting me, because there was no room in your heart for anyone but your wife. Blushing madly and trying to undo damage that had never been there you stumbled to explain that you simply enjoyed the act of kissing someone you cared about. In your world, kisses were not necessarily connected to romance. Your wife always knew about this little need of yours and she did not mind.
Do you know that once when I was over at your place for dinner she told me that the most beautiful thing you had ever said to her was how no matter how many kisses you shared with other people, hers were the ones you kept counting - because hers were the only ones you were afraid of losing?
That night jealousy flared inside of me. Even though I already knew I was falling for you, that night your wife unknowingly ignited a spark in my competitive side and made me want to steal you away from her against your will.
So I made sure to make you feel comfortable about kissing me. I'm very sorry my masks slipped too early so that you would glimpse the truth before you were ready for it, scaring you off before I had fully ensnared you. It was a struggle to haul you back in each and every time. And each time I could feel your frustration over the situation growing. You were coming back as long as your feelings of friendship outweighed the discomforts my obvious moves caused you.
Never. That's what you said. I'm sorry Gacchan, but I will never love you like that. Please. That's what you said. Please let's be friends. I care about you. I don't want to lose you. That's what you said.
Then why did you yell at me last time? Our kisses were so sweet that night, and you were so beautiful. Can you blame me for wanting to have you? You've never realized your own beauty, inside and out. You know how to tease your fans, but you have no idea how much you affect other people by just being. My love, my heart, my beauty.
I need to destroy you.
When you walked out on me the last time, all the time fingering the tear in your shirt - I'm sorry, so sorry, my love, that I let my passion get the better of me - I could see it in your eyes. You were going for good this time, the trust between us not cracked but broken and shattered. Never. That's what you said. You've gone too far this time. I've begged you to respect the limits of this countless times. I’ve begged you to stop when I ask you to. I'm not going to come back this time, Gackt. Not ever.
I remember your words perfectly. They destroyed me. How can I live when I can't have you? How can I watch you love another person? I can't. So you need to go. It's perfect, don't you see? You will be mine, just mine. Ultimately I will conquer you, draw you towards me for eternity with nothing to come in between us. Don't worry though, my heart, I could never taint our love by staining my hands with your precious blood. I love you too much to watch your beauty fade as life leaves you.
I take my own life not because I've been rejected. No, this is just one means to the end we need to reach, my heart. You will see in time. I've made sure to ask you over and despite all your words, despite all your pain and insecurity, you agreed to come. Because we used to be friends, Gacchan. That’s what you said. You will find me, you will look into my lifeless eyes and realize what you have lost forever, what you turned away from. You could have had everything, and you refused to take what was offered so willingly.
Did you really believe you could deny me?
Look at me. Look at my body, empty of life.
Look at what you've done.
This, my love, is what is going to kill you. And so I am triumphant, taking your life with the knowledge that we will be reunited. As you are reading this letter of mine, I know there will be tears staining your perfect cheeks, purest sorrow that I long to see. I want to see you shatter, because I know you will be more beautiful than ever as you break down. In the end, I have succeeded in stealing you from her and from all others, to be nothing less then just mine from this point on. Unable to bear the guilt, you will follow me, and I will await you with open arms.
All will be forgiven.
And you will be beautiful, my love, in death and damnation.
~*~
The End
Prompt: larkir - Murder or Suicide
Fandom: JRock
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde
Warnings: dark, character death
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own Hyde, Gackt or anything that awesome at all, really.
Summary: Did you really believe you could deny me?
Redrum
So beautiful, my love.
I'm glad you came one last time. I know this is not easy - we did not part on the best of terms last time. Naturally, I will not apologize. You would just say there was nothing to forgive, and I would feel guilty because that's where our opinions run off in different directions. They do so often, but that's why being with you is so wonderful. We click as often as we clash. Our silences are frustrated as often as they are comfortable, we unsettle each other as often as we bring each other peace.
This is why I have fallen in love with you, my heart.
There is just something special in the dynamics between us, something in the way we fit together. It's not perfect harmony, for which I'm glad. Had we never clashed we also never would have grown closer together.
And still, my heart, I am sorry for what kept happening more and more often.
I know you never meant to lead me on. You have been honest with me from the start. The first time we were drunk and started kissing each other deeply you were shocked to the core. Back then our friendship was still rather fresh and the one thing you were worried about was hurting me, because there was no room in your heart for anyone but your wife. Blushing madly and trying to undo damage that had never been there you stumbled to explain that you simply enjoyed the act of kissing someone you cared about. In your world, kisses were not necessarily connected to romance. Your wife always knew about this little need of yours and she did not mind.
Do you know that once when I was over at your place for dinner she told me that the most beautiful thing you had ever said to her was how no matter how many kisses you shared with other people, hers were the ones you kept counting - because hers were the only ones you were afraid of losing?
That night jealousy flared inside of me. Even though I already knew I was falling for you, that night your wife unknowingly ignited a spark in my competitive side and made me want to steal you away from her against your will.
So I made sure to make you feel comfortable about kissing me. I'm very sorry my masks slipped too early so that you would glimpse the truth before you were ready for it, scaring you off before I had fully ensnared you. It was a struggle to haul you back in each and every time. And each time I could feel your frustration over the situation growing. You were coming back as long as your feelings of friendship outweighed the discomforts my obvious moves caused you.
Never. That's what you said. I'm sorry Gacchan, but I will never love you like that. Please. That's what you said. Please let's be friends. I care about you. I don't want to lose you. That's what you said.
Then why did you yell at me last time? Our kisses were so sweet that night, and you were so beautiful. Can you blame me for wanting to have you? You've never realized your own beauty, inside and out. You know how to tease your fans, but you have no idea how much you affect other people by just being. My love, my heart, my beauty.
I need to destroy you.
When you walked out on me the last time, all the time fingering the tear in your shirt - I'm sorry, so sorry, my love, that I let my passion get the better of me - I could see it in your eyes. You were going for good this time, the trust between us not cracked but broken and shattered. Never. That's what you said. You've gone too far this time. I've begged you to respect the limits of this countless times. I’ve begged you to stop when I ask you to. I'm not going to come back this time, Gackt. Not ever.
I remember your words perfectly. They destroyed me. How can I live when I can't have you? How can I watch you love another person? I can't. So you need to go. It's perfect, don't you see? You will be mine, just mine. Ultimately I will conquer you, draw you towards me for eternity with nothing to come in between us. Don't worry though, my heart, I could never taint our love by staining my hands with your precious blood. I love you too much to watch your beauty fade as life leaves you.
I take my own life not because I've been rejected. No, this is just one means to the end we need to reach, my heart. You will see in time. I've made sure to ask you over and despite all your words, despite all your pain and insecurity, you agreed to come. Because we used to be friends, Gacchan. That’s what you said. You will find me, you will look into my lifeless eyes and realize what you have lost forever, what you turned away from. You could have had everything, and you refused to take what was offered so willingly.
Did you really believe you could deny me?
Look at me. Look at my body, empty of life.
Look at what you've done.
This, my love, is what is going to kill you. And so I am triumphant, taking your life with the knowledge that we will be reunited. As you are reading this letter of mine, I know there will be tears staining your perfect cheeks, purest sorrow that I long to see. I want to see you shatter, because I know you will be more beautiful than ever as you break down. In the end, I have succeeded in stealing you from her and from all others, to be nothing less then just mine from this point on. Unable to bear the guilt, you will follow me, and I will await you with open arms.
All will be forgiven.
And you will be beautiful, my love, in death and damnation.
~*~
The End