life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats
Today was - the past two days...Draining. That's the word.
Evie is on four different medications, plus the new food, none of which seem to be working (but then again, who knows). Her stool is still liquidy and yesterday there was some blood in it. No improvements thus far, and we are still waiting on the results of the GI profile. It's getting exhausting, and C is starting to get really, really frustrated with her. He's the one who gives her all the meds, so I can understand it, but it's not her fault, you know? And it doesn't help that for some reason he's been incredibly depressed and withdrawn since Friday night. I have NO idea what triggered it, and when I try to talk about it with him, he just says he feels sad. Just immensely sad. It's really, really hard. He's never like this, and I don't know how to respond. He has little patience for me, which is hard to accept because when he plays WoW he's all helpful and friendly to our guildies. I guess he's "faking" it, but I have trouble reconciling the fact that I'm the one who gets the shitty end of the deal.
I wish there was somewhere I could go or he could go for a break. It's - I don't know - nigh impossible to work together AND live together. It just gets to be too much sometimes. I've thought about asking for a transfer, just so we don't see each other 24/7, but it's frowned upon to transfer within the same district, and I'm not going to transfer an hour away, outside of the district, just to not work with him. Besides, I'm really hoping to be back in Maryland by this time next year, at the latest. We've lived and worked together since February, what's another year?
Lots of homesickness lately. Don't know if it has to do with the holidays or weather, or emotions running high. I just know C needs to take these computer classes he's always talking about, because I need to get out of here.
Another note of stress is that I keep forgetting to check when we have to let the leasing office know whether or not we are extending our lease, and for how long. I don't know why this stresses me out as much as it does, because it shouldn't really, at all, but there you have it.
I'm really trying to stay happy, to maintain the zen that has somehow found me over the past couple of weeks. It's difficult, and even though this is a mostly downer post, I'm managing ok most of the time.
Oh, AND my computer BSOD's me at least once a day, ever since I installed Cata. If this laptop goes, I'm getting a desktop, end of story. I have an older laptop that I can bring around with me for portability in terms of internet access and Microsoft Office, but I'm sick of shelling out $1000 or more for a laptop that lasts little over a year. I found a bundle through Best Buy that's about $400, including a keyboard (though I need to compare stats of that with my laptop, to make sure it's actually better) which, on a payment plan, I think I'll be able to handle. C thinks I'm jumping the gun, which is probably true, since for the past couple of hours my laptop has worked just fine but...I've had problems with HP products in the past. I'm not getting my hopes up. It's a shame, too, because I have a feeling the desktop bundle is only going to be discounted for the holidays. The savvy shopper in me who wants to save money wants to spring for it now, just in case...but $400 is a lot to spend on a 'just in case' scenario.
-Voltaire (granted...I think I'm currently swimming towards my lifeboat...but DAMMIT I WILL SING WHEN I GET THERE!)
Evie is on four different medications, plus the new food, none of which seem to be working (but then again, who knows). Her stool is still liquidy and yesterday there was some blood in it. No improvements thus far, and we are still waiting on the results of the GI profile. It's getting exhausting, and C is starting to get really, really frustrated with her. He's the one who gives her all the meds, so I can understand it, but it's not her fault, you know? And it doesn't help that for some reason he's been incredibly depressed and withdrawn since Friday night. I have NO idea what triggered it, and when I try to talk about it with him, he just says he feels sad. Just immensely sad. It's really, really hard. He's never like this, and I don't know how to respond. He has little patience for me, which is hard to accept because when he plays WoW he's all helpful and friendly to our guildies. I guess he's "faking" it, but I have trouble reconciling the fact that I'm the one who gets the shitty end of the deal.
I wish there was somewhere I could go or he could go for a break. It's - I don't know - nigh impossible to work together AND live together. It just gets to be too much sometimes. I've thought about asking for a transfer, just so we don't see each other 24/7, but it's frowned upon to transfer within the same district, and I'm not going to transfer an hour away, outside of the district, just to not work with him. Besides, I'm really hoping to be back in Maryland by this time next year, at the latest. We've lived and worked together since February, what's another year?
Lots of homesickness lately. Don't know if it has to do with the holidays or weather, or emotions running high. I just know C needs to take these computer classes he's always talking about, because I need to get out of here.
Another note of stress is that I keep forgetting to check when we have to let the leasing office know whether or not we are extending our lease, and for how long. I don't know why this stresses me out as much as it does, because it shouldn't really, at all, but there you have it.
I'm really trying to stay happy, to maintain the zen that has somehow found me over the past couple of weeks. It's difficult, and even though this is a mostly downer post, I'm managing ok most of the time.
Oh, AND my computer BSOD's me at least once a day, ever since I installed Cata. If this laptop goes, I'm getting a desktop, end of story. I have an older laptop that I can bring around with me for portability in terms of internet access and Microsoft Office, but I'm sick of shelling out $1000 or more for a laptop that lasts little over a year. I found a bundle through Best Buy that's about $400, including a keyboard (though I need to compare stats of that with my laptop, to make sure it's actually better) which, on a payment plan, I think I'll be able to handle. C thinks I'm jumping the gun, which is probably true, since for the past couple of hours my laptop has worked just fine but...I've had problems with HP products in the past. I'm not getting my hopes up. It's a shame, too, because I have a feeling the desktop bundle is only going to be discounted for the holidays. The savvy shopper in me who wants to save money wants to spring for it now, just in case...but $400 is a lot to spend on a 'just in case' scenario.
-Voltaire (granted...I think I'm currently swimming towards my lifeboat...but DAMMIT I WILL SING WHEN I GET THERE!)