FIC: if i lose my way (the perfect obligation remix) [Firefly, Gen, PG-13]
TITLE: if i lose my way (the perfect obligation remix)
AUTHOR: inkandchocolate
FANDOM: Firefly
PAIRING: Gen (Simon, River)
RATING: PG_13
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon's, not mine.
SUMMARY: Simon will always be there for her.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for "Remix...Redux 8: Magic Eight Ball". For kangeiko, inspired by her work Stories.
Beta thanks to menomegirl and joking. Errors are mine, not theirs. And thank you to kangeiko for allowing me to remix from her body of work.
---------------
"Tell me a story," she whispers to him, curled up beside him on the couch. "Simon, tell me a story please."
Simon sighs. There is work to do for school and he needs to be sure that it's all done correctly. Mistakes are not acceptable, not for him and not for teacher and certainly not for his father. "There's a million books on the viewer, go read one of them."
"Simon," River says in her patient voice, the one she uses when he's being silly and not paying attention. "I don't want to *read* a story. I want you to tell me one."
"I have work," he says and then frowns when she leans in to look at what he's done. "Hey!"
"Number four is wrong but the rest are all fine." Her fingers, slim and fast, make the correction for him before he can stop her. "It's done. Now tell me."
He looks at the change she's made, eyebrows rising. "How did you-"
"You're stalling," she huffs. "Please, Simon. Tell me something good."
He really can't resist her. He should have some way of saying no to her but he hasn't found one yet. Hasn't tried hard, to be honest. She is his sister and she is a brat sometimes but he loves her completely even now, even when they are both too young to understand how hard things can be when you love that much.
"Fine, a story for the little genius," he says and watches her face light up. "There was a little girl who lived in town and went to visit her grandmother in the woods. She put on her special red cape and-"
River puts her hand on his arm and shakes her head. "Something scary. Something really scary."
"This one is scary," he says and sighs when she shakes her head again. "There's a wolf. A big one. And he's got very bad things planned for the little girl and her grandmother."
River frowns at him. "I don't want that one. I want something else."
Simon leans back and thinks. "Scarier than the big bad wolf, huh? How about an evil troll?"
"Heard it."
"Witches? Dwarves?"
"Nope, not scary enough. I want you to terrify me, make me sleep with the lights on tonight." She widens her eyes at him and sits cross legged, full of anticipation.
Simon shakes his head. "I won't. I won't scare you like that. Besides, you know there's no such thing as monsters. What's the point of making something up when you already know it's not real?"
She puts her hands on her hips and sits up straighter. "Do I have to explain everything to you?"
Seeing her like this, Simon feels a sudden bubble of unexpected emotion inside. There's a desire to take her hand and just run. She is sweet and lovely right now, and he wants to hide her away and keep her safe from everything, everyone, all the monsters in the world that will hurt her.
"No monsters," he says and he takes hold of her hand. "Let's go out into the garden. I'll push you on the swing."
She tilts her head as she holds his hand, still not moving from the cushioned couch. "Will you push me until I say stop?"
"Until you're all done with it. Even if it makes my arms fall off."
She giggles at that and stands. "You can't push me if your arms fall off, Simon. I really do have to explain everything to you."
"Come on and explain to me then, mei mei," he says and holds her hand tightly, walking her through the house and into the sunshine.
-----
She crawls into Simon's bunk, whimpering with fear. "Simon, the monsters, the monsters are real."
Half asleep, he wraps the covers around her and pulls her close, curls himself around her like a shield. "Shhh, it's alright, I've got you, I'm right here."
She weeps, tears soaking his shirt, wetting his skin. Her voice is strangled from the sobs and he can only make out that there are monsters, that they won't go away and she can't be alone anymore.
"You are never alone," he murmurs, pressing his face to her ear so she can't not hear him. "I will always be here for you. I will always protect you, River."
She shudders, clutches at him and raises her tear stained face. Her eyes are wide, darting around the room wildly and she crawls into his lap when he sits up. Arms around his neck, she shakes and clings to him. "You can't stop them, they're in my head, they're all inside my brain and they won't go away, they're going to make me one of them, Simon, and I'm so cold and so scared and I don't want this anymore."
His own eyes fill with tears for her pain and he rocks her like the little girl she used to be, singing under his breath the songs of their childhood. Slowly, finally, he feels her calming. The sobs become softer and her shaking stops but he rocks her a little longer until she gives a sigh.
"I think they're sleeping," she murmurs to him, her own eyes closed. "You made them stop, Simon."
"Anything for you, mei mei." He eases her onto the bed, fixes the covers, brushes her hair back from her face. She looks so small, so exhausted, that his heart might break.
"Do you remember the garden?" she asks him, looking up at his face. "The day you took me out and pushed me on the swing? I thought I could fly that day, you pushed me so high. That was a good day, Simon."
He can barely remember it himself, but he nods and smiles at her. "We had lots of good days, didn't we?"
Her lip trembles. "I can't remember most of them. I think so, I think we did, but they stole my memories and put other things inside of me."
"Hush," he murmurs and shakes his head. "They're never going to hurt you again. We'll make new memories. Good ones. You'll see, it's going to be alright." He kisses her forehead and lies down beside her, sharing the pillow.
"Simon," she says after a time of slow breathing and quiet. "Tell me a story. Tell me something good."
He swallows past the lump in his throat and strokes her hair as he speaks. "Once upon a time there was a princess who loved to dance..."
She smiles at him, for him, and puts her hand on his cheek. "That's a good one," she whispers and closes her eyes, and Simon goes on, spinning his tale until she's sleeping and safe again.
For now, at least, he's kept his promise.
-end
AUTHOR: inkandchocolate
FANDOM: Firefly
PAIRING: Gen (Simon, River)
RATING: PG_13
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon's, not mine.
SUMMARY: Simon will always be there for her.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for "Remix...Redux 8: Magic Eight Ball". For kangeiko, inspired by her work Stories.
Beta thanks to menomegirl and joking. Errors are mine, not theirs. And thank you to kangeiko for allowing me to remix from her body of work.
---------------
"Tell me a story," she whispers to him, curled up beside him on the couch. "Simon, tell me a story please."
Simon sighs. There is work to do for school and he needs to be sure that it's all done correctly. Mistakes are not acceptable, not for him and not for teacher and certainly not for his father. "There's a million books on the viewer, go read one of them."
"Simon," River says in her patient voice, the one she uses when he's being silly and not paying attention. "I don't want to *read* a story. I want you to tell me one."
"I have work," he says and then frowns when she leans in to look at what he's done. "Hey!"
"Number four is wrong but the rest are all fine." Her fingers, slim and fast, make the correction for him before he can stop her. "It's done. Now tell me."
He looks at the change she's made, eyebrows rising. "How did you-"
"You're stalling," she huffs. "Please, Simon. Tell me something good."
He really can't resist her. He should have some way of saying no to her but he hasn't found one yet. Hasn't tried hard, to be honest. She is his sister and she is a brat sometimes but he loves her completely even now, even when they are both too young to understand how hard things can be when you love that much.
"Fine, a story for the little genius," he says and watches her face light up. "There was a little girl who lived in town and went to visit her grandmother in the woods. She put on her special red cape and-"
River puts her hand on his arm and shakes her head. "Something scary. Something really scary."
"This one is scary," he says and sighs when she shakes her head again. "There's a wolf. A big one. And he's got very bad things planned for the little girl and her grandmother."
River frowns at him. "I don't want that one. I want something else."
Simon leans back and thinks. "Scarier than the big bad wolf, huh? How about an evil troll?"
"Heard it."
"Witches? Dwarves?"
"Nope, not scary enough. I want you to terrify me, make me sleep with the lights on tonight." She widens her eyes at him and sits cross legged, full of anticipation.
Simon shakes his head. "I won't. I won't scare you like that. Besides, you know there's no such thing as monsters. What's the point of making something up when you already know it's not real?"
She puts her hands on her hips and sits up straighter. "Do I have to explain everything to you?"
Seeing her like this, Simon feels a sudden bubble of unexpected emotion inside. There's a desire to take her hand and just run. She is sweet and lovely right now, and he wants to hide her away and keep her safe from everything, everyone, all the monsters in the world that will hurt her.
"No monsters," he says and he takes hold of her hand. "Let's go out into the garden. I'll push you on the swing."
She tilts her head as she holds his hand, still not moving from the cushioned couch. "Will you push me until I say stop?"
"Until you're all done with it. Even if it makes my arms fall off."
She giggles at that and stands. "You can't push me if your arms fall off, Simon. I really do have to explain everything to you."
"Come on and explain to me then, mei mei," he says and holds her hand tightly, walking her through the house and into the sunshine.
-----
She crawls into Simon's bunk, whimpering with fear. "Simon, the monsters, the monsters are real."
Half asleep, he wraps the covers around her and pulls her close, curls himself around her like a shield. "Shhh, it's alright, I've got you, I'm right here."
She weeps, tears soaking his shirt, wetting his skin. Her voice is strangled from the sobs and he can only make out that there are monsters, that they won't go away and she can't be alone anymore.
"You are never alone," he murmurs, pressing his face to her ear so she can't not hear him. "I will always be here for you. I will always protect you, River."
She shudders, clutches at him and raises her tear stained face. Her eyes are wide, darting around the room wildly and she crawls into his lap when he sits up. Arms around his neck, she shakes and clings to him. "You can't stop them, they're in my head, they're all inside my brain and they won't go away, they're going to make me one of them, Simon, and I'm so cold and so scared and I don't want this anymore."
His own eyes fill with tears for her pain and he rocks her like the little girl she used to be, singing under his breath the songs of their childhood. Slowly, finally, he feels her calming. The sobs become softer and her shaking stops but he rocks her a little longer until she gives a sigh.
"I think they're sleeping," she murmurs to him, her own eyes closed. "You made them stop, Simon."
"Anything for you, mei mei." He eases her onto the bed, fixes the covers, brushes her hair back from her face. She looks so small, so exhausted, that his heart might break.
"Do you remember the garden?" she asks him, looking up at his face. "The day you took me out and pushed me on the swing? I thought I could fly that day, you pushed me so high. That was a good day, Simon."
He can barely remember it himself, but he nods and smiles at her. "We had lots of good days, didn't we?"
Her lip trembles. "I can't remember most of them. I think so, I think we did, but they stole my memories and put other things inside of me."
"Hush," he murmurs and shakes his head. "They're never going to hurt you again. We'll make new memories. Good ones. You'll see, it's going to be alright." He kisses her forehead and lies down beside her, sharing the pillow.
"Simon," she says after a time of slow breathing and quiet. "Tell me a story. Tell me something good."
He swallows past the lump in his throat and strokes her hair as he speaks. "Once upon a time there was a princess who loved to dance..."
She smiles at him, for him, and puts her hand on his cheek. "That's a good one," she whispers and closes her eyes, and Simon goes on, spinning his tale until she's sleeping and safe again.
For now, at least, he's kept his promise.
-end