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i really have no interest in going home.
like absolutely none.
i would much rather
stay in my hermit hole
with all my stuff
and my privacy
and have a small amount of room to clean
instead of an entire house
and a bathroom
and having to look at my sisters dirty underwear.
please don't make me go home.
like absolutely none.
i would much rather
stay in my hermit hole
with all my stuff
and my privacy
and have a small amount of room to clean
instead of an entire house
and a bathroom
and having to look at my sisters dirty underwear.
please don't make me go home.
Just having to go home and be around your family is far from the worst thing you will ever do. You bitch, moan, and whine about the dumbest things. You don't even begin to know what it's really like to suffer.
You act like a spoiled eight-year-old, pouting, with your hand out out going gimme gimme gimme. I want I want I want.
The world owes you NOTHING. Got me?
You must put yourself outside your comfort zone, though it hurts you, to ever make progress. Otherwise, you will stay miserable. Until you decide to put yourself out there, you will never change for the better.
Instead, you will express jealousy.
I have a good relationship finally. But you know how many BAD relationships I have had? Tons.
That's what it takes, INga. It takes having the balls to put your heart out there. You will fail and try and fail and try and fail and try and eventually, through trial and error you will learn.
Nothing in life is easy. Nothing in life, including relationships, fall into your lap. They take time, effort, sweat, toil, and tears.
I don't understand how you've failed to realize this.
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are you seriously telling me that i'm not allowed to have the feelings i have about not going home?
and i never said the world revolved around me, not have i even hinted at it.
what i find hysterical is that you think you know me becuase you think you see some of yourself in me. what i find hysterical is that you think you know me from the little contact we have had together.
i am allowed to feel however the fuck i want to about anything i want to. and i AM HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. i am in no way jealous of you and do not want to see the relationship fail.
and im not miserable. i am actually the happiest i've been in months. and going home is very different for me than it is for you. you know about a one-hundreth about my home life and my life in general. and if there is anything in this world that annoys me the most, it is people talking to me like they fucking know me.
and i have put my heart out there, and for the moment, i am still protecting it. and i know that relationships will not fall into my lap. you don't know how i have been dealing with chris or my sitation with him and you don't know what's going on right now.
and i fail to understand how even after i have told you numerous times to stop talking to me like i am your protege and if you want to be friends with me then do so. stop being so fucking condscending. its and obnoxious quality.
and i have never said gimmie gimmie gimmie etc to you or to anyone.
and i am SO FUCKING TIRED of you telling me all about myself when what you say you see isn't there.
I HAVE NEVER SAID THE WORLD OWES ME ANYTHING, NOR HAVE I EVER IMPLIED IT.
if you want to offer advice, that's fine, but don't be all i-know-more-than-you becuase you know DIFFERENT from me. we've had totally different experiences and what i know and understand about myself and the world around me is completely different from what you know and understand about your world. you seem to forget every time you talk to me that we were raised by different people with different beliefs and in different parts of the country. and that our relationships with our parents and our siblinngs are totally differernt.
and i fail to see how this entry caused you to yell at me about the world revolving around me.
im tired of your shit kevin.
you more often than not i am angered by your company rather than delighted by it.
you make me feel like shit becase i havent had all the experience in life that you have. i wonder fucking why, becuase you are six years older than me. that might be fucking why. so when i'm 26, then we can talk and if i dont know a few more things about life, you can strike me down with your holier than thou bullshit. until then, im done.
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