(no subject)
i feel the need to write.
i've already written in my journal.
im not sure what else to say.
this guy came into the store today.
with a brit accent.
he's from some small town
and he goes to manchester uni.
that made me so happy.
i told him i went to lancaster.
he kinda scoffed at that.
but his accent stilled rocked my world.
god damn i miss lancaster.
england.
a separate life.
separate reality.
not that this reality sucks or anything.
but people aren't ready to party
like i am.
sometimes i wish i was in a sorority
just for the fact that i would have a built in party base.
here it is, 1130 on halloween night
and im in my skull pj top, scrubs, retainer and glasses.
hair pulled back,
carmex on,
ready to plop into my bed
which i simultaneously love
and loathe at the same time.
its a little sad.
im hoping some excitement will happen
thursday.
i feel lost.
dettached.
im sad.
im angry.
im upset.
im relieved.
im empty.
im undone.
im strange.
all the lyrics
i hear
that explain me to myself
are played out.
i feel like they are just words.
only emotions, feelings
can explain
whats in my mind
my body
my soul.
there are no more words
that will give you a glimpse.
i suppose you really can feel
totally alone,
even when you know there are
people who care,
or that there will be people there
at some point.
you can still feel so completely
distanced.
guarded by walls.
fuck.
i wish it was easier to write.
i have no muse.
and now i kinda wanna cry.
i've already written in my journal.
im not sure what else to say.
this guy came into the store today.
with a brit accent.
he's from some small town
and he goes to manchester uni.
that made me so happy.
i told him i went to lancaster.
he kinda scoffed at that.
but his accent stilled rocked my world.
god damn i miss lancaster.
england.
a separate life.
separate reality.
not that this reality sucks or anything.
but people aren't ready to party
like i am.
sometimes i wish i was in a sorority
just for the fact that i would have a built in party base.
here it is, 1130 on halloween night
and im in my skull pj top, scrubs, retainer and glasses.
hair pulled back,
carmex on,
ready to plop into my bed
which i simultaneously love
and loathe at the same time.
its a little sad.
im hoping some excitement will happen
thursday.
i feel lost.
dettached.
im sad.
im angry.
im upset.
im relieved.
im empty.
im undone.
im strange.
all the lyrics
i hear
that explain me to myself
are played out.
i feel like they are just words.
only emotions, feelings
can explain
whats in my mind
my body
my soul.
there are no more words
that will give you a glimpse.
i suppose you really can feel
totally alone,
even when you know there are
people who care,
or that there will be people there
at some point.
you can still feel so completely
distanced.
guarded by walls.
fuck.
i wish it was easier to write.
i have no muse.
and now i kinda wanna cry.