Stupid
I knew when he didn't answer me that it was over. I knew when the static on the line grew, stretching out into uncomfortable, painful seconds that I had made a mistake.
"I'm sorry." I blurted out, hating how pathetic I sounded. "Just pretend like I never said it."
What was I thinking? Why did I keep hoping? Why was I so stupid? Why had I said it?
"I love you."
"Heechul..." he began, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hear the gentle rejection.
"I have to go." I interrupted him. "I'll call you later."
"Heechul, wait..." He said, but I could hear it in his voice - the hesitation, the guilt.
"No." I whispered, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. "Please...don't say it." I paused, taking a precious second to force myself to sound fine when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. "I'll call you next week. Ok?"
There was silence again on the line, a million miles between us and my stupid, broken heart.
"OK." He said quietly. "Goodbye, Chul."
I bit my tongue, the familiar pain helping me to say the words.
"Bye, HanGeng."
"I'm sorry." I blurted out, hating how pathetic I sounded. "Just pretend like I never said it."
What was I thinking? Why did I keep hoping? Why was I so stupid? Why had I said it?
"I love you."
"Heechul..." he began, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hear the gentle rejection.
"I have to go." I interrupted him. "I'll call you later."
"Heechul, wait..." He said, but I could hear it in his voice - the hesitation, the guilt.
"No." I whispered, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. "Please...don't say it." I paused, taking a precious second to force myself to sound fine when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. "I'll call you next week. Ok?"
There was silence again on the line, a million miles between us and my stupid, broken heart.
"OK." He said quietly. "Goodbye, Chul."
I bit my tongue, the familiar pain helping me to say the words.
"Bye, HanGeng."