Tie the Knot
Title: Tie the Knot (Entry #6)
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: KangTeuk
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Genre: One-shot / Angst (I know....again)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. No one does.
Summary: Jungsu wonders if he is making the right decision
Park Jungsu stands in front of the mirror, his fingers tugging and pulling on the tie that is refusing to knot properly. His hands are shaking and it is taking all his willpower to concentrate.
“Your fingers are shaking.” Heechul observes. He is perched on the bathroom sink, his back to the mirror. He’s been watching Jungsu knot and untie the tie around his neck several times, and the memories it is dredging up in his chest are sharp and painful. “Come here.” He sighs.
Jungsu swallows and looks at his friend. “I’m sorry.” He sighs as he steps towards Heechul and lets the other neatly and perfectly fold and knot the dark silk tie.
“Shut up.” Heechul says, but there is no venom in his voice. Jungsu looks at his reflection, relieved that the tie looks perfect now. He steps back and puts on the suit jacket, and then looks at Heechul again.
“This is it.” Jungsu smiles, but the riotous sensations in his stomach make the smile strangled instead of joyful. Heechul merely looks at him, and there are so many words being driven into his skull by Heechul’s thoughts that Jungsu looks away, unwilling to hear them.
“Did you even answer his texts or calls?” Heechul asks out loud, and Jungsu pauses in the doorway. Something inside his chest is constricting, coiling up into a small ball to avoid the words Heechul has spoken. He wants to keep walking, but he has known Kim Heechul far too long to know that walking away will do him no good.
“No.” he says, and it feels terrible, even though it is his choice.
Heechul jumps gracefully off the bathroom counter and comes up to stand next to Jungsu. His eyes are a piercing brown that show more scars than they did when they were younger. “He loves you. This is hurting him, and he deserves the truth.” Heechul says, and even though the words themselves cause the sensation in Jungsu’s chest to twist and tighten, the tone is still calm.
Heechul walks past him, out of the bathroom and down the hallway. He disappears into his room, leaving Jungsu standing there, wondering if ignoring the text messages and voice mails from Youngwoon is the right thing to do.
He walks out through the living room and exits the dorm. Once he is in the hallway, he pulls his phone from his pocket and opens the text messages. There are three from Kangin.
29/12/11
I heard the news. Please call me, will be home for 2 days.
30/12/11
Jungsu, please. I only have one day left.
1/1/12
OK. I left you a voice mail. I hope you listen to it.
Jungsu grips the phone, looking down at the last message. There are seven missed calls from Kangin, but only one voice mail. Jungsu can feel his heart slamming against his chest. A part of him wants to delete the message before he listens to it, and part of him knows that he will regret it forever.
I should let him say what he has to say. HanGeng never let Heechul hear him out and look what it did to them. I should give him one more chance.
He steps onto the elevator and presses the button for the lobby, then calls his voice mail. After entering his password, he lifts the phone to his ear and hears Kangin’s voice for the first time in almost a year.
"Jungsu-ya, it’s Youngwoon. I’m…I’m home but I guess you’re not going to call me. I only have another hour before the train comes to take me back to the base. I’m hoping maybe you will listen to this and call me back, but I will understand if you don’t. I know you don’t want to forgive me for what I did, and I understand now. I didn’t know what it would do to you, and I’m sorry. I know I’ve said I was sorry before, but it was never more important than it is right now."
Kangin's voice pauses, and Jungsu can hear him exhaling into the phone.
Heechul-hyung said you were getting married in a few weeks. I can’t pretend that hearing that didn’t hurt, but it’s my fault for not being there for you when you needed me. You deserve to be happy. I love you and I want you to be happy. I’m sorry that it couldn’t be me. I hope she makes you smile."
Kangin pauses again, and Jungsu hears his voice shake a little when he speaks again.
"I love you. If you get this, and you want to talk to me, you can ca--”
The message clicks off, interrupting Kangin’s voice midstream. Jungsu swallows the burning lump in his throat and hangs up the line. The elevator doors slide open and he walks out into the lobby. He inhales deeply, trying to pull himself together.
His mother sees him, her smile lighting up the room as she runs over to hug him. His father smiles proudly as well, and behind him Jungsu can see his fiancé. She is beautiful and tiny, pale and demure, like a tiny breakable China doll. She is smiling uncertainly at him, always so very shy and quiet.
Her parents stand behind her, looking equally as pleased. They are on their way to the wedding rehearsal, and tomorrow he will take her hand in his and marry her. He will sever all that Kangin has been to him and start a new life with her.
He wishes things could be different, but they're not. He pushes away the soft voice of Kim Youngwoon that whispers “I love you” and walks forward to take her hand, and he does not look back.
.
Author: Ink_River10
Pairing: KangTeuk
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Genre: One-shot / Angst (I know....again)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior. No one does.
Summary: Jungsu wonders if he is making the right decision
Park Jungsu stands in front of the mirror, his fingers tugging and pulling on the tie that is refusing to knot properly. His hands are shaking and it is taking all his willpower to concentrate.
“Your fingers are shaking.” Heechul observes. He is perched on the bathroom sink, his back to the mirror. He’s been watching Jungsu knot and untie the tie around his neck several times, and the memories it is dredging up in his chest are sharp and painful. “Come here.” He sighs.
Jungsu swallows and looks at his friend. “I’m sorry.” He sighs as he steps towards Heechul and lets the other neatly and perfectly fold and knot the dark silk tie.
“Shut up.” Heechul says, but there is no venom in his voice. Jungsu looks at his reflection, relieved that the tie looks perfect now. He steps back and puts on the suit jacket, and then looks at Heechul again.
“This is it.” Jungsu smiles, but the riotous sensations in his stomach make the smile strangled instead of joyful. Heechul merely looks at him, and there are so many words being driven into his skull by Heechul’s thoughts that Jungsu looks away, unwilling to hear them.
“Did you even answer his texts or calls?” Heechul asks out loud, and Jungsu pauses in the doorway. Something inside his chest is constricting, coiling up into a small ball to avoid the words Heechul has spoken. He wants to keep walking, but he has known Kim Heechul far too long to know that walking away will do him no good.
“No.” he says, and it feels terrible, even though it is his choice.
Heechul jumps gracefully off the bathroom counter and comes up to stand next to Jungsu. His eyes are a piercing brown that show more scars than they did when they were younger. “He loves you. This is hurting him, and he deserves the truth.” Heechul says, and even though the words themselves cause the sensation in Jungsu’s chest to twist and tighten, the tone is still calm.
Heechul walks past him, out of the bathroom and down the hallway. He disappears into his room, leaving Jungsu standing there, wondering if ignoring the text messages and voice mails from Youngwoon is the right thing to do.
He walks out through the living room and exits the dorm. Once he is in the hallway, he pulls his phone from his pocket and opens the text messages. There are three from Kangin.
29/12/11
I heard the news. Please call me, will be home for 2 days.
30/12/11
Jungsu, please. I only have one day left.
1/1/12
OK. I left you a voice mail. I hope you listen to it.
Jungsu grips the phone, looking down at the last message. There are seven missed calls from Kangin, but only one voice mail. Jungsu can feel his heart slamming against his chest. A part of him wants to delete the message before he listens to it, and part of him knows that he will regret it forever.
I should let him say what he has to say. HanGeng never let Heechul hear him out and look what it did to them. I should give him one more chance.
He steps onto the elevator and presses the button for the lobby, then calls his voice mail. After entering his password, he lifts the phone to his ear and hears Kangin’s voice for the first time in almost a year.
"Jungsu-ya, it’s Youngwoon. I’m…I’m home but I guess you’re not going to call me. I only have another hour before the train comes to take me back to the base. I’m hoping maybe you will listen to this and call me back, but I will understand if you don’t. I know you don’t want to forgive me for what I did, and I understand now. I didn’t know what it would do to you, and I’m sorry. I know I’ve said I was sorry before, but it was never more important than it is right now."
Kangin's voice pauses, and Jungsu can hear him exhaling into the phone.
Heechul-hyung said you were getting married in a few weeks. I can’t pretend that hearing that didn’t hurt, but it’s my fault for not being there for you when you needed me. You deserve to be happy. I love you and I want you to be happy. I’m sorry that it couldn’t be me. I hope she makes you smile."
Kangin pauses again, and Jungsu hears his voice shake a little when he speaks again.
"I love you. If you get this, and you want to talk to me, you can ca--”
The message clicks off, interrupting Kangin’s voice midstream. Jungsu swallows the burning lump in his throat and hangs up the line. The elevator doors slide open and he walks out into the lobby. He inhales deeply, trying to pull himself together.
His mother sees him, her smile lighting up the room as she runs over to hug him. His father smiles proudly as well, and behind him Jungsu can see his fiancé. She is beautiful and tiny, pale and demure, like a tiny breakable China doll. She is smiling uncertainly at him, always so very shy and quiet.
Her parents stand behind her, looking equally as pleased. They are on their way to the wedding rehearsal, and tomorrow he will take her hand in his and marry her. He will sever all that Kangin has been to him and start a new life with her.
He wishes things could be different, but they're not. He pushes away the soft voice of Kim Youngwoon that whispers “I love you” and walks forward to take her hand, and he does not look back.
.