I'm Cave Johnson.

[iowntheplace]

Where: GLaDOS' Shack / Lair
When: Friday Night
Who: CAVE JOHNSON, Caroline and GLaDOS
What: Cave Johnson's own ineptitude causes trouble. (Who saw that coming?)
Warnings: Death and Stupidity

Comments

[yessirmrjohnson]

This was going to be a disaster and part of her was wondering if calling up the AI and rescheduling would be an option. But. With how long she had made GLaDOS wait for this and how less than thrilled she had sounded, it didn't seem likely. All she could hope to do would be to drop off the sample, grab Cave's hand and just make a run for it before he said anything stupid enough to make her angry and possibly get them killed.

They had maybe a 20% chance of success. Maybe. Probably less.

Soon, they reached GLaDOS' small shed and Caroline motioned for Cave to stop.

[ediblebattery]

She wouldn't be coming up this time. The door on the shed swung open instead, the sleek glass elevator lighting up and sliding open to allow them entrance.

"I'm extremely busy right now. If you want to finish this, I suggest you just come inside.

Don't worry.

I have absolutely no interest in letting either of you stay for any longer than it takes to process this transaction."

The camera was locked right on them too. Of course she could see them... Why on earth did she bring that man with her?

"I suppose it'd be too much to ask for you to leave your pet outside?"

[iowntheplace]

Cave sighs, recognizing the voice.

"I suppose it would be too much to ask you to not speak like a miserable bitch?"

[yessirmrjohnson]

Caroline instinctively slid in front of Cave. "S-sorry. He wouldn't stay behind."

She turned back and flashed him a 'please be good' look before leading the way to the elevator.

[ediblebattery]

"... That's a shame. It's too bad you didn't bring a muzzle. Just make sure he doesn't tear up the place."

The trip down would be quick, but that was merely due to the speed of the elevator. There were far, far down below the surface, it seemed...

The room it opened up to was massive, the sheer white panels expanding outward slightly. In the center stood GLaDOS, wires leading down from the ceiling, connected to her head, back of her neck and spine.

"I have the rest of the data. Let's just get this over with and the two of you can go back to... whatever it is you do up there with each other."

[yessirmrjohnson]

Caroline tried to hurry towards GLaDOS, but the size of the room is dizzying, and while shocking to find something like this underground, she's horribly intrigued by the panels and just the feel of the place and- She stumbled, her high heels wobbling and Caroline scrambles to keep a hold of the box in her hands.

Safely still standing and box still in hand, she sighs in relief.

[ediblebattery]

The yellow stare narrowed sharply as Caroline stumbled. She'd been studying the sample she already had... And she was well aware of its unstable properties. Too much of a jolt and the whole place could go up. Caroline regained her balance, mercifully, and the AI... actually sighed.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happens if you drop that sample. I can tell you, I don't know what will happen to me exactly, but I do know what will happen to you. I don't think being a floating cloud of hyper charged particles would be terribly helpful to your professional career."

[yessirmrjohnson]

"I caught it, didn't I?" She huffed, brushing the wrinkles from her top. "I had really expected something closer to a cement basement with chains, a few blood splattered tables and a flickering light, dangling from the ceiling. Instead, there's just nothing. I don't know whether to be impressed or disappointed."

She turns around this time, much more carefully, eyes again on the cavernous lair. "Where is the Science, exactly?"

[ediblebattery]

"If you were watching where you were going, you wouldn't have to catch it at all.

...

Stored. I don't leave these things out in the open for everyone to look at. This place becomes terribly cluttered."

But, as if to prove her point, the panels shift, all moving in a wave along the wall. Each flickering panel reveals, for a split second, something behind it, whether it be the flash of a red laser, the gleam of a metal box... or some strange, sharp equipment, only to be hidden as quickly as it was revealed.

"To put it in terms a bit more succinct though, what I do in here is on a need to know basis.

You don't need to know."

[yessirmrjohnson]

There was so much want, each glimpse far too short. But. Getting more information or blueprints or anything else would have to wait. Caroline stepped closer to GLaDOS, the small metal box inches from her hand when Caroline froze. Something was wrong. It had been waaay too quiet. Caroline quickly looked over her shoulder.

"Mr. Johnson?" Instinctively, she pulled her arms back to herself, taking the sample with her as she hurried to the outer edges of the lair. Cave was no where to be seen.

[iowntheplace]

Cave had grown quickly bored of the conversation, having seen the spectacle of women arguing before, and was examining the wall of his facility. Or so the robot claimed. It wasn't really all that interesting, if he was honest. Then the panels moved, and more out of a lack of coordination than interest, he entered the wall. He took a look his new found surroundings. He perhaps would have been more alarmed if it wasn't for all the shiny toys for him to gawk at. He walks up to a turret and pokes it.

"Hello, Mr. Johnson. How are you today?"

Cave smiled.

"So this is my facility. How...interesting."

Cave spies a small cube in the corner, with a heart on each side's center. He smiles and picks it up.

"You're coming with me pal. Let's go explore my facility. Check out the new paint."

[ediblebattery]

She was so close! So close! Had she not known Cave just as well as Caroline did, she would have been far more infuriated with the woman.

As it was, she knew where to put her rage now.

"... Great. The idiot's wandered off. I'd say I am concerned about him getting smashed by the moving parts in the Chamber here, but that would be a terrible enhancement of the truth.

Find him, there's things back there that are extremely unstable and if he finds them, we'll all be sorry for it. Mostly you, because he's your boss. This is as good as manslaughter."

[yessirmrjohnson]

Caroline didn't need to be told twice, she rushed towards the wall as fast as she could manage and slid behind the now open panel.

"Mr. Johnson, where are you? Please, Sir, you need to come out of here right now!"

But! Ugh, her chance, all the things to look at and see and examine and-damnit!

"Mr. Johnson!"

[iowntheplace]

Cave, growing quickly bored in the desolate, industrialized space behind the wall has begun scribbling on the wall with a pen. Finishing a crude drawing depicting GlaDOS and Starscream kissing by outlining them with a heart, he continues on. He continues clutching the cube as he explores.

"So this is a maintenance area then?"

He looks at the cube and nods.

"Yes. Yes of course. Right ahead, got it"

Cave continues on, and the room becomes wider. There is a strange device ahead glowing with an eerie yet spellbinding light. Cave looks at the Cube once more.

"Dangerous? What are you, a sissy? Come on..."

Cave walks over to the source of the light and spies a small, glowing crystal.

"See? It's just a rock. A shiny and important-looking rock."

Cave considers the importance of this device. Surely it was better that he not tamper with such a delicate mechanism. On the other hand, this was his facility, and he'll touch whatever he damn well pleased. And wouldn't Caroline be impressed with such a finding? Sure. Let's do it. He grabs the

[yessirmrjohnson]

"Mr. Johnson!" Caroline heard his scream and rushed into the next section only to be welcomed with a high pitched voice.

"Who ARE you? Malfunction." The red glow on the small device gave her a two second warning, and Caroline ducked back around a corner, holding the sample box close to her chest.

The turret exploded, sending shrapnel and fire just past her cover.

[iowntheplace]

After a long, painful ordeal, Cave finally manages to get control of his nervous system enough to let the crystal go. Cave hadn't heard Caroline's cries. His focus was on the filthy, terrible rock than zapped him. He looked at the cube once more.

"SHUT UP, YOU!"

Cave makes another, in a long line of terrible decisions, and hurls the cube at the glowing stone with all his might.