3rd recording // Cave Johnson // Video

[iowntheplace]

[The feed opens to Cave in a dank, dark cell still in his devil costume from the party. Despite his admittedly bleak situation, Cave's face shines with his trademark optimism. Cave clears his throat a moment before speaking, this being his first intentional broadcast.]Cave Johnson here. Now, I know what some of you are wondering. 'How could a man

Comments

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

[Starscream looks through the video feed at Cave.]

Your disguise has never been more fitting.

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave pauses for a moment, then puts on a look of genuine hurt. Well, it LOOKS genuine at least.]

Why my good sir, I am shocked. SHOCKED. Perhaps you're simply projecting? Yes, that must be it. Your just feeling awful because all that chain smoking you do is destroying your voice.

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

...What is this...'chain' smoking?

I'm not overheating in the slightest.

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave pauses, and squints and the screen, as if peering into the gentleman on the other side.]

You...You haven't been human very long have you?

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

A few days. Why do you ask, human?

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave nods, as if to say "ah ha!".]

Because you are just awful at it. You appear have cowardly insults from behind the safety of a monitor as a pretty well learned skill, however.

So, not that I'm not appreciative of your company, but my guess is you didn't respond because we're such good friends.

[Cave smiles darkly.]

What did you wish to discuss?

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

We are nothing close to friends, human.

[Unless 'crushing victims' are now friends. In that case, they're besties!]

I want to discuss a desire made real.

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave smiles, but it isn't quite right. It's too big, and he's showing far too many back teeth. And he looks hungry. SO HUNGRY.]

Are we not friends? I'm hurt. So then....what could I do for you, oh puny human?

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

I'd word thinks a bit more carefully, human.

I'm not a human. Let's start there...~

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

Oh? How odd. You look soft and spongy, like a human. I'm certain you smell like one too.

A free tip: Soap. It's an invention you'll want to look into while enjoying your trip through humanity.

So, my weak, mortal, human friend what can I do for you?

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

[Note to self: Kill this human when changed back. Repeatedly. Right when he gets out of the well? Kill him again.]

I wish to be Leader of the Decepticons.

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave laughs loudly, in complete mockery of the man's wish.]

Yes, I suppose you would. You couldn't really manage to get that position on your own, could you? You were never quite good enough.

Giving that to you is within my current power, If you're willing to pay the price.

[Cave's face is replaced by a contract on the screen, not unlike a terms and conditions form for new software. There is quite a bit of text, and it's very small.]

Please click "yes" if you agree. No pressure, but this offer is limited.

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

For your information, human, I was Lord for quite some time. It was Soundwave who prevented my dream from becoming reality.

[He scrolls through the contract.]

One soul.

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

Yes, one soul. Pretty typical in business negotiations like these. I would think these are fair terms. After all, it's not like you've had much time with it. You'll barely even notice it's gone.

[OOC: Lies. Screamy will very much notice. Soul == spark]

[Video]

[deceptiveplane]

Really now? I've never had a soul before so I don't see much use in it.

[He clicks 'agree'.]

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave laughs hysterically.]

Oh, fantastic. I just knew you would take me up on this. You didn't seem terribly bright.

[OOC:FUFUFUFUFUFU!]