timing optional
it is rounding up on 5pm.
Rounding up. yah, i made that up myself.
i watched the 7 year itch today. marilyn monroe is hot. not now, but she was hot - not that i am one to judge.
i have been doing a lot of yeyo lately and my septum is falling apart. funny thing about it is that you are only high for a little bit, but you are up like all nite. i hate being up all nite. i hate being alone with my thoughts.
i still haven't been able to find a fucking job and it is getting to be critical that i have one for over a month now. what is up with me? i'm pretty sure i'm down with A.D.D.
focus has never been a strong suit and i seem to be regressing with my increasingly short career leaps. i just want some steady work and nice place to live and that is it. then i can die. i need to be stable so my parents don't freak out so much. we've been constantly working on the house lately just to avoid the discussion of why. of course the reason is that we are fixing the house up to sell because they are going to jail. me living at home isn't helping. me unemployed living at home at the age of 25 is really not helping. i'm a miserable fucker. i want to be alone and i think that i've got the perfect plan when i move out on how to trick myself into the perfect life.
Plank One- friend exorcism. i'm going to cut off contact with all of my friends as i have them now. this ensures that i will be a better worker and that i will not waste expendable income. i do not feel bad about this plank, or atleast not as bad as you'd imagine, i've done this a number of times. i'm a charming guy, i can either get new friends or convince the old friends my abandonment was their fault, accidental or essential (which it is).
Plank Two- massive yeyo habit. the ye trades off with food and also increases one's activity level. i can further increase my ability to work hard while accomplishing the secondary goal of losing weight. i've decided weight loss and becoming more attractive physically to the opposite sex is essential in finding an attractive woman to marry and bear my children. i do not think there is joy in marriage or even a long term relationship with a woman, but i will do this because i am going to be successful and one can not be successful without a healthy wife and smiling children (however these elements will not be acquired for atleast a few years). the ultimate fear expressed by people is that a yeyo habit is unbreakable, this i do not believe. i never actually crave the drug nor do i particularly believe it is any more addictive than say marijuana. also i think that my system is weak enough that small amounts will continue to accomplish my goals.
Plank Three- buy a home. again this is on the long term scale. but i will buy a house within the next 5 years. this will be where i die. i will have lost the weight and become successful in my job through hard work and diligence (easily afforded because i will have no outside of work friends). i will have a beautiful wife (note her personality intellect and other attributes are not important, or atleast i have noted this in interactions with all family members...the most attractive wife makes for the best family). we will be settling in to have many children.
Plank Four-die early. Once i have accomplished the goals of a successful career, a nice house and a beautiful wife with atleast one child; i plan on dying. i will not commit suicide, because it will smudge the family name and is otherwise tacky, bringing about gossip of homosexuality, adultery and the like. i will die in an accident, nothing spectacular - hit by a car, falling powertool. all of these things can be easily faked, especially with the timeframe i am giving myself. I shall also take out a large life insurance policy and name my wife and child as the sole recipients of the policy, this will hopefully provide enough for my wife to not have to settle for a second husband who is not also a good father to my child. My child does not have to be a boy, by the by, i don't much need the family name carried on, if it is, so be it, if not, that too is fine. I plan on dying before the child is of too great an age to remember me, lest i tarnish a great reputation that will surely carry on long after my death.
thanks. that was perfect.
Rounding up. yah, i made that up myself.
i watched the 7 year itch today. marilyn monroe is hot. not now, but she was hot - not that i am one to judge.
i have been doing a lot of yeyo lately and my septum is falling apart. funny thing about it is that you are only high for a little bit, but you are up like all nite. i hate being up all nite. i hate being alone with my thoughts.
i still haven't been able to find a fucking job and it is getting to be critical that i have one for over a month now. what is up with me? i'm pretty sure i'm down with A.D.D.
focus has never been a strong suit and i seem to be regressing with my increasingly short career leaps. i just want some steady work and nice place to live and that is it. then i can die. i need to be stable so my parents don't freak out so much. we've been constantly working on the house lately just to avoid the discussion of why. of course the reason is that we are fixing the house up to sell because they are going to jail. me living at home isn't helping. me unemployed living at home at the age of 25 is really not helping. i'm a miserable fucker. i want to be alone and i think that i've got the perfect plan when i move out on how to trick myself into the perfect life.
Plank One- friend exorcism. i'm going to cut off contact with all of my friends as i have them now. this ensures that i will be a better worker and that i will not waste expendable income. i do not feel bad about this plank, or atleast not as bad as you'd imagine, i've done this a number of times. i'm a charming guy, i can either get new friends or convince the old friends my abandonment was their fault, accidental or essential (which it is).
Plank Two- massive yeyo habit. the ye trades off with food and also increases one's activity level. i can further increase my ability to work hard while accomplishing the secondary goal of losing weight. i've decided weight loss and becoming more attractive physically to the opposite sex is essential in finding an attractive woman to marry and bear my children. i do not think there is joy in marriage or even a long term relationship with a woman, but i will do this because i am going to be successful and one can not be successful without a healthy wife and smiling children (however these elements will not be acquired for atleast a few years). the ultimate fear expressed by people is that a yeyo habit is unbreakable, this i do not believe. i never actually crave the drug nor do i particularly believe it is any more addictive than say marijuana. also i think that my system is weak enough that small amounts will continue to accomplish my goals.
Plank Three- buy a home. again this is on the long term scale. but i will buy a house within the next 5 years. this will be where i die. i will have lost the weight and become successful in my job through hard work and diligence (easily afforded because i will have no outside of work friends). i will have a beautiful wife (note her personality intellect and other attributes are not important, or atleast i have noted this in interactions with all family members...the most attractive wife makes for the best family). we will be settling in to have many children.
Plank Four-die early. Once i have accomplished the goals of a successful career, a nice house and a beautiful wife with atleast one child; i plan on dying. i will not commit suicide, because it will smudge the family name and is otherwise tacky, bringing about gossip of homosexuality, adultery and the like. i will die in an accident, nothing spectacular - hit by a car, falling powertool. all of these things can be easily faked, especially with the timeframe i am giving myself. I shall also take out a large life insurance policy and name my wife and child as the sole recipients of the policy, this will hopefully provide enough for my wife to not have to settle for a second husband who is not also a good father to my child. My child does not have to be a boy, by the by, i don't much need the family name carried on, if it is, so be it, if not, that too is fine. I plan on dying before the child is of too great an age to remember me, lest i tarnish a great reputation that will surely carry on long after my death.
thanks. that was perfect.