the day i killed a kitten.
i would always remember the day i let a kitten die. it was there, lying on the side of the road, and i made no move to pick it up and move it to a safer place. it got run over by a car as i watched in silence. one by one, my tears started to fall. i could have done something. i could have moved, i could have kicked the kitten out of the way, i could have... i could have saved it from death. but i didn't. i spent the ride to school thinking about that kitten- and myself.
i honestly thought that i was different from other people. i thought i cared more than they did, that i understood more than they did, that i kept a mind more open than theirs. i thought i was more compassionate, more giving, more concerned. was i ever wrong. that day taught me that i'm just like everybody else, maybe even worse. i cried as people watched me inside the fx, and i wouldn't tell anyone as to why. the death of that innocent kitten shook me, because that kitten's demise could have well been prevented if i had only acted. it wasn't just that i let it die. my heart choked me then because it actually felt as if i was the one who killed it. i always refuse to think about it, because everytime i do, i always have to gather all the strength that's left in me to keep myself from bursting into tears.
but there's nothing i can do now, is there?
except to keep that from happening again.
i know what's happening. i'm here and i'm letting it happen. please, please, chance and fate, don't let it be too late for me to do something.
because i don't think i'd be able to forgive myself if i let you die.
i honestly thought that i was different from other people. i thought i cared more than they did, that i understood more than they did, that i kept a mind more open than theirs. i thought i was more compassionate, more giving, more concerned. was i ever wrong. that day taught me that i'm just like everybody else, maybe even worse. i cried as people watched me inside the fx, and i wouldn't tell anyone as to why. the death of that innocent kitten shook me, because that kitten's demise could have well been prevented if i had only acted. it wasn't just that i let it die. my heart choked me then because it actually felt as if i was the one who killed it. i always refuse to think about it, because everytime i do, i always have to gather all the strength that's left in me to keep myself from bursting into tears.
but there's nothing i can do now, is there?
except to keep that from happening again.
i know what's happening. i'm here and i'm letting it happen. please, please, chance and fate, don't let it be too late for me to do something.
because i don't think i'd be able to forgive myself if i let you die.