I lye around in bed all day, just staring at the walls...
It's a perfectly fine Friday evening, the weather outside...lovely. Where am I? Evidently, home...alone, wallowing in self-pity. Everything is just falling apart. I have no real friends, no one gives a damn about me. Don't even think of leaving comments saying you do, because where are you when I spend my nights curled up sulking my soul away? Not even thinking of me. I'm gaining weight, I haven't been moving much....but I shall start running tomorrow. Besides the fact I've done absolutely nothing this summer...the love of my life (so far) appears to loathe me. It's been twenty-nine days and I just can't take it anymore...no one understands. Last night I thought I was having a heart attack, intense chest pain starting around eight until I woke up this morning (I was up until 4:30 and I still had it then). Part of me wishes I was having one. Everything was so...perfect. How can it all just slip away so rapidly...? How...? I wish I never stopped. Better yet, I wish when I had the chance I had went all the way.