i can't drive.......FIFTY FIVE!!!!!!!!!
if you can believe it, what i'm about to tell you is 100% true.
2 weekends ago when i was back home in 315, i, as i always do, stayed at gram and gramp's house. i like it because its on the lake, secluded, out in the middle of nowhere.
my grandparents live at 112 mallard bay, about halfway down the south shore of oneida lake. mallard bay is a small, isolated road that has about 10 houses on it, all of a significant value. so they neighbors around the place are well-off, and therefore, well-kept.
well it was about 8pm and i received a phone call from my grandmother. she had been in buffalo all day at a fucking stamping party or whatever with her sister, who drove. her sister lives in cortland, so she thought itd be ideal of me to meet them at the thruway park and ride to drop my gram off.
i'm a nice kid so i do it. i ask my 13-year old prick of a cousin jordan if he wanted to come along, and he obliged. we had just got done playing grand theft auto: san andreas, which i hadnt played in sometime, so i was in vehicular manslaughter mode.
now the only road that mallard bay is connected to is miner road. miner road is narrow, straight and long. no street lights to be seen, just surrounded by 100 foot trees.
being as i just got in the car, and i was going more than 50 feet, i felt the need to make a killer playlist to help smooth the ride to the thruway and back. i didnt see any headlights coming my way so, as it usually happens, i swerved from one side of the road to the next. i wasn't really paying attention to what was in front of me, but rather whether to play the futureheads or some hootie. DONT HATE BITCHES. hootie fucking runs shit.
unbeknowst to me, i was now in the wrong lane of the street, and as soon as i noticed this, i also noticed a man walking a dog.
"whoops!"
this fucking dude quickly dives off into the snowbank off the road, like he was on the new reality show: Who Wants to be the Next Eddie Vedder?
"whoops!"
oh mama!!! initially, i was initially PANICKED. should i stop? should i see what happened? is this gonna be passed around the neighbors that i was a reckless driver???
but then, rather than being a concerned motorist/citizen,i decided that it'd be better to look like the big shot in front of my idolizing cousin.
"GRAND THEFT AUTO, BIATCH!!! THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!" i said to the rolled up window.
we laughed it up a ton on the way to the thruway.
gram got in the car and i immediately told her i almost wiped out a dude on the street. she didnt believe me.
but as we swooped back onto miner road, i slowly crept up on the location in question, and sure enough, there was fresh foot, hand and bodyprints in the snow.
"thats how i roll, gram, grove street families."
...so about 4 days ago, i called my grandparents house to let them know the correct time that they should roll out the red carpet for my easter arrival. unconcerned about my arrival, my grandpa referred me to this. -->
http://www.wstm.com/Global/story.asp?S=3113833
WORD LIFE
2 weekends ago when i was back home in 315, i, as i always do, stayed at gram and gramp's house. i like it because its on the lake, secluded, out in the middle of nowhere.
my grandparents live at 112 mallard bay, about halfway down the south shore of oneida lake. mallard bay is a small, isolated road that has about 10 houses on it, all of a significant value. so they neighbors around the place are well-off, and therefore, well-kept.
well it was about 8pm and i received a phone call from my grandmother. she had been in buffalo all day at a fucking stamping party or whatever with her sister, who drove. her sister lives in cortland, so she thought itd be ideal of me to meet them at the thruway park and ride to drop my gram off.
i'm a nice kid so i do it. i ask my 13-year old prick of a cousin jordan if he wanted to come along, and he obliged. we had just got done playing grand theft auto: san andreas, which i hadnt played in sometime, so i was in vehicular manslaughter mode.
now the only road that mallard bay is connected to is miner road. miner road is narrow, straight and long. no street lights to be seen, just surrounded by 100 foot trees.
being as i just got in the car, and i was going more than 50 feet, i felt the need to make a killer playlist to help smooth the ride to the thruway and back. i didnt see any headlights coming my way so, as it usually happens, i swerved from one side of the road to the next. i wasn't really paying attention to what was in front of me, but rather whether to play the futureheads or some hootie. DONT HATE BITCHES. hootie fucking runs shit.
unbeknowst to me, i was now in the wrong lane of the street, and as soon as i noticed this, i also noticed a man walking a dog.
"whoops!"
this fucking dude quickly dives off into the snowbank off the road, like he was on the new reality show: Who Wants to be the Next Eddie Vedder?
"whoops!"
oh mama!!! initially, i was initially PANICKED. should i stop? should i see what happened? is this gonna be passed around the neighbors that i was a reckless driver???
but then, rather than being a concerned motorist/citizen,i decided that it'd be better to look like the big shot in front of my idolizing cousin.
"GRAND THEFT AUTO, BIATCH!!! THAT'S HOW I ROLL!!!" i said to the rolled up window.
we laughed it up a ton on the way to the thruway.
gram got in the car and i immediately told her i almost wiped out a dude on the street. she didnt believe me.
but as we swooped back onto miner road, i slowly crept up on the location in question, and sure enough, there was fresh foot, hand and bodyprints in the snow.
"thats how i roll, gram, grove street families."
...so about 4 days ago, i called my grandparents house to let them know the correct time that they should roll out the red carpet for my easter arrival. unconcerned about my arrival, my grandpa referred me to this. -->
http://www.wstm.com/Global/story.asp?S=3113833
WORD LIFE