(no subject)
i don't know how many of you reading this are in my 4pm-5pm class, but since i dont really know anyone besides that one chick in my physiology class, and i dont even talk to her...im assuming none of you are.
that being said, i must tell you of something that is rather disturbing and at the same time, hilarious. i only write to be hilarious.
there is this girl in my class...err....woman...mmm well, lets just point out that at one time they probably were a female, and now they still do resemble a female somewhat, but that can only be confirmed with tests, none of which i plan on conducting.
so for current time's sake, we will call her a female.
anyways, this woman is your token old lady in your "post-3pm" classes. you know, nods her head at everything the teacher says, always sits up front at the only table, and although it looks like she knows about 3 people in her life, all of whom knows that shes unavailable for the next 50 minutes but call anyway. her cell phone goes off everyday in class, everyday, and remarkably to a new ring tone. today it was sting's "if i ever lose my faith".
now for the sad part.
she shakes a lot. like tremors and such, which is no laughing matter. but im assuming that resulted from extended exposure to hallucinogens/various inhalants and charles manson lectures that she attended in the early-nixon era. she is the type of person who would reveal to everyone in class after...mmm....3 or so lectures, that she was ordered to have an abortion because at her psychological state, the doctors deemed it unfair to the unborn child that it have her as a mother.
and as a matter of fact, thats what she did tell us, pretty much unprovoked.
anyways, when she told us about the abortion i kinda just...i dont know, put my head down?...i didn't feel like hearing her problems. but i couldn't resist. she seemed like the type of person who would be capable of just exploding at any minute, and i felt if i put my head down and somewhat zoned it out that i might be able to dodge the receiving end of the aforementioned explosion.
she said it with the kind of zeal that made her think that she was something special. like...it wasnt really forced out of her, it just kinda sounded like she had given the exact same speech over and over again. wicked cool, lady. here...see what you can do with these brownie points.
so today i go to class, sit down and in she comes. shes about 55-ish, definitely not in with the new millenium or the preceeding 3 decades because any woman over 55 thats not a native american or emmy-lou harris has short and dyed hair. she has the opposite, long...gray..long...hair.
but this instance i noticed something different. on the back of her left hand was a blue star. and i was like "oh sweet, she must have went to some bitchin' party last night or something". but upon further review, it was not the mark of a blue sharpie, but rather blue stitches.
i dont know what the fuck it was, but looking at it kind of made me want to vomit. seriously. it shouldnt have been there and looking at it made me think how painful it was. but being the detective that i am, i realized that she did this to herself and that she is also right handed. because on the right hand was some bullshit carving that looks like she got halfway and was like "fuck it, i am not ambidextrious." the right looks like some sort of half-assed triangle/prehistoric fish. apparently those three people she chills with couldnt help her out. but of course they can call and interrupt my education.
and that, friends, is how you bitch about absolutely nothing.
my neck hurts.
1
that being said, i must tell you of something that is rather disturbing and at the same time, hilarious. i only write to be hilarious.
there is this girl in my class...err....woman...mmm well, lets just point out that at one time they probably were a female, and now they still do resemble a female somewhat, but that can only be confirmed with tests, none of which i plan on conducting.
so for current time's sake, we will call her a female.
anyways, this woman is your token old lady in your "post-3pm" classes. you know, nods her head at everything the teacher says, always sits up front at the only table, and although it looks like she knows about 3 people in her life, all of whom knows that shes unavailable for the next 50 minutes but call anyway. her cell phone goes off everyday in class, everyday, and remarkably to a new ring tone. today it was sting's "if i ever lose my faith".
now for the sad part.
she shakes a lot. like tremors and such, which is no laughing matter. but im assuming that resulted from extended exposure to hallucinogens/various inhalants and charles manson lectures that she attended in the early-nixon era. she is the type of person who would reveal to everyone in class after...mmm....3 or so lectures, that she was ordered to have an abortion because at her psychological state, the doctors deemed it unfair to the unborn child that it have her as a mother.
and as a matter of fact, thats what she did tell us, pretty much unprovoked.
anyways, when she told us about the abortion i kinda just...i dont know, put my head down?...i didn't feel like hearing her problems. but i couldn't resist. she seemed like the type of person who would be capable of just exploding at any minute, and i felt if i put my head down and somewhat zoned it out that i might be able to dodge the receiving end of the aforementioned explosion.
she said it with the kind of zeal that made her think that she was something special. like...it wasnt really forced out of her, it just kinda sounded like she had given the exact same speech over and over again. wicked cool, lady. here...see what you can do with these brownie points.
so today i go to class, sit down and in she comes. shes about 55-ish, definitely not in with the new millenium or the preceeding 3 decades because any woman over 55 thats not a native american or emmy-lou harris has short and dyed hair. she has the opposite, long...gray..long...hair.
but this instance i noticed something different. on the back of her left hand was a blue star. and i was like "oh sweet, she must have went to some bitchin' party last night or something". but upon further review, it was not the mark of a blue sharpie, but rather blue stitches.
i dont know what the fuck it was, but looking at it kind of made me want to vomit. seriously. it shouldnt have been there and looking at it made me think how painful it was. but being the detective that i am, i realized that she did this to herself and that she is also right handed. because on the right hand was some bullshit carving that looks like she got halfway and was like "fuck it, i am not ambidextrious." the right looks like some sort of half-assed triangle/prehistoric fish. apparently those three people she chills with couldnt help her out. but of course they can call and interrupt my education.
and that, friends, is how you bitch about absolutely nothing.
my neck hurts.
1