Hekate's Circle : A Journey From the Outside In
Friday Night -- Got horribly lost on the way. Amazing views. Seriously, at one point I stood over the Pacific Ocean, on a bridge several fathoms above the water. Very awe inspiring. Great way to start the weekend. Found a Park Ranger, who led me to the right part of the park, so I found this beautiful view great me as a I arrive. There is nothing like being surrounded by Evergreen trees and a few bunkhouses
to remind you just how different a place you are in. And I thought the energy of Seattle was different. I learned the hard way, trust me, that this weekend was going to prove far different than What Kevin has been used to.
Can you see how green the trees and the grass are? The sun stayed shining. This was not the Samhain time. There is no death or darkside. Surely, this festival will be easy! Can you hear the hubris getting ready to pop for me?
Friday night opening ritual had them invoke Hekate into one of the people of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church, her name is Beverly. Her goddess was definitely the Queen of the Wytches, and part of the ritual involved people bowing to her. I of course, did not, and felt okay with this. No one said anything, and I was not in the mood to relinquish part of my will to a Goddess, who, could quickly handle me if she wanted to anyway. The magic felt good, though a bit chanty. They were definitely British Traditional Witches here, and as you all very well know, generally I buck that magic. Far too restrictive. Far too power-mandering. Of course, this is not what I actually found. I found a group that does treat each other like family. They live their words. Something I've been missing from CMA since that fateful Beltane.
After dropping off my gear at the bunkhouse, I ran into Nicole, and helped her and Vaughn decorate for the shrine to Pan - Aphrodite. My Beth-Sister would be so proud, I used Tapestries, Pushpins, and Binderclips to their maximum use. After meeting a few new people, namely the Canadians Mimi & Anthonee, we climbed on the rafters, hung cloth, made beds, setup pillows, and did
a bit of ritual work. Running to dinner, I sat alone, not knowing anyone there. Went back to my bunk, as there was still time before opening ritual and the fire was not going. I found that my gift of night-vision and night-walking-in-nature is apparently a Texan Pagan skill, people here are very flashlight dependent which I assure you, bugged the ever-loving snot out of me. There I ran into Jim & Blackcat. Jimbo is the mage of the Sylvan Grove, while BlackCat serves as the High Priest. Thanks to a well-cast spell, I met them first online and then for Coffee/Chai. We had a great 2 hour talk altogether, before BlackCat left to go take care of their daughter. Jimbo and I stayed out til 1 in the morning that Friday, talking about magick, having a few drinks, and enjoying meeting each other. I can talk for days about the experience of having two qualified, powerful, and attractive gay men to circle with. You guys all know this was a facet of life I was dying for, and its great to finally have an outlet for this. Anyway, back to the cabin, I help them unload all the gear they had brought to festival, and they invite me to attend their Skyclad ritual, which was two hours after opening ritual. Nervous with Pagan Performance Anxiety, I accept their invitation, and have a few minutes chat before heading into Opening Ritual.
Opening Ritual is fearsome. Hekate is invoked, protections and wards set over the land, and the ritual spirits are invoked to party with us. Good Times. A small fire is lit, and I chat with a few friends that Jimbo and Blackcat introduce me too. The skyclad ritual comes, and the energy and freeform script of it is a breath of fresh air. I really enjoy the energy that the duo produced for the rite, and their reverse chakra and pseudo-middle pillar meditation fills me with a sense of empowerment, one that I don't tend to find whilst naked. After helping them haul ritual altar stuff to the car, we hang for a bit, meet a few of our bunkmates, and I crawl into my tapestry hidden nook to fall asleep
And stay awake all bloody night, because George, an attractive black gay man who I'm hoping to stay in touch with, snores like a warthog in the washing machine. I would rather sleep during TK's nasal issues than near this guy. Needless to say, I didn't sleep well Friday night, and the tiredness translated into Caffiene-fits all day Saturday.
Saturday we have br
eakfast and are split into our Clans. I, apparently by drawn lot, ended up in Clan Hawthorne (like there was ever a doubt. I knew it would be either Oak, Ash, or Thorn). Gayle our Clan Leader, gather the group of us together, and after a brief but powerful ritual, a sense of belonging was created. I made several friends their, Ricky (A Gay Canadian guy, whose partner makes him look so butch), Jamie, a powerful second-degree ATC Wytch (more on her later) and Lis. Lis, the glorious Witch you see on the left has an amazing way about her. She's a huge fan and friend of sooj, and therefore someone I immediately clinged to. Skarlett, as the land of LJ knows her, follows a more eclectic spiritual path, and there was many a time that we discussed with each other how crazy this traditional witches are, with their chant for everything. I get the power of constantly used words, and how the rotes increase the ease of magic. However, It runs counter of my immediate understanding, and Lis was a great source of comradarie for me.
Following our clan work, we had a dumb supper for lunch. Unfortunately, that was when my workshift came, so I didn't get as much of a chance to really sit with the clan and work through my issues with Nana's passing, I was more focused on washing dishes and clearing the kitchen. I ended up being let go after an hour thanks to hard work and being completely soaked in water by doing hand-washing of far too many things since we had little to no instruction.
Saturday afternoon I went on a walk in the woods and cleared my head. I got a good bit of mental space I had been needing. There is nothing like disappearing in the woods to really clear my brain, and I'd forgotten how easily I could get that in Austin, and how much harder that is to get here in Seattle. (Mental note, find closer state parks to disappear to.) Saturday afternoon, I bumped into Jim and BlackCat, who wanted to see how my experience was, and then I really got to have my long talk with Jamie, before going into the main ritual.
Jamie had suffered a loss, that I blogged here today. Washoe, the sign-language chimp? Yeah, Jamie worked with her daily. Jamie carried with her the terrible burden of being a happy face while feeling miserable. Fortunately for me, Jamie immediately recognized my feeling of outofplacedness, and did her damndest to make sure I felt included and welcome. She helped me process a great many things about the ATC, and their method of Wiccan madness, for which I am so grateful. Its hard to be a Shamanic-Eclectic-Taoist-Neo-Pagan at a more traditional Wiccan Gathering. She really got me, got my path, and got the message to help me prepare and process for main rite, and I could not have had a better partner to travel to the darkside of the veil with. Her powerful assistance definitely kept me in focus during the traveling of the rite.
We gathered in the main hall to write our leavings and our summonings. I chose to leave behind my loneliness, and I drew to me a community, and a boyfriend. (I know, I know, I know -- Leave it be. My dreams, my Will.) After the Fool told us a story, the clans met by the fire, and we ventured to the main field, and we cast circle and called Hekate to us, who after a sacrifice of our leavings, gave our clan leaders keys to the underworld. Gayle accepted the key for Clan Hawthorne, and Jamie, Lis, Ricky, and the rest of Clan Hawthorne and myself ventured through the veil.
LOUD! LOUD! DEAD VOICES! EVERYWHERE NEEDING TO BE HEARD! When I opened my eyes from the shock, we stood in front of a hearth. A woman stood before us, who could only be Breed the healer who talked to us about the trials of being a healer. For me, it was the shock of having her touch my chest, and remind me that each beating of my heart is a second I will not get back again. While we were in the presence of the Goddess, the voices stayed low. Venturing away to find the home of Dagda, the voices started talking again. Working through my focusing work, I kept them at bay until Dagda let us touch the great club. Taking in courage, we left the Dagda and started again through the veil's paths. Screaming again, I held it back until we met at a place of death and warfare, and after a trick, we ran into Bev, an aspect of the Morrigan. Our clan leader fell through our mutual failures of the year, and it was only by acknowledging the blood on her hands, and working with the Morrigan's energy that we were able to bring her back to life. I nearly threw up throughout this rite, it was both insanely powerful and insanely thought provoking.
Because of our previous ritual work for the Bev, we were given a cast head of a Crow. To be honest, I've no idea how to add it to my altar, so it sits in my suitcase, waiting for attention. I have a feeling this weekend's work will help elucidate this. We escorted the Goddess back to the main fire, and I couldn't keep them at bay. I sat whirling through all the voices, trying so hard to keep my lunch down. At one point I vaguely recognized the Celtic Death God. I begged him to mention the dead, and it wasn't until the candle throwing for those who had passed started that I got any reprieve. Together, Jamie and I threw candles for our passed loved ones, and it took me a bit of huddling and hugging to move back to my seat, where after the candles throwing, I sat whirled by the voices.
Jamie kept an eye on me as I finally passed back through the veil, and the voices fell back to the usual murmur I'm used to. I changed clothes, as I had gotten damp all over, and came back to dinner and ate with Blackcat and Jimbo. We caroused, and then caroused with many of their Canadian friends, enjoying a few hours of conversation and revelling until finally bed called for us. Thanks to a few substances I shan't mention, I slept for a few hours.
Sunday came the packing and the heading home. There is so much more to this story, and so little words to explain. Magick of this magnitude cannot be blogged, it must be experienced. Unless you can taste the air, feel the cold, sense the energy, see the props, hear the words, and hug the person next to you, you won't get the magic.
Outside of a few experiences in CMA, and several Shamanic Journeys on my own, I think this was one of the most powerful rites I've been to.
I am thankful to the ATC, and look forward to their Spring Mysteries rite.
Krino e Elo.
