How cruel it is, this month. It's as if the cold has taken the very breath from our bodies, laying it out for everyone to witness. I watched you, oh yes. You scurried around like so many ants, confused and wary, but still so very trusting. Like every flood before this. Like every breach. Every port. You slide into the trusting hands of the Admiral, who gives not a shit for you.
Oh, some of you might keep that displaced loyalty. But what does it serve? What is the purpose of it?
What do you get out of it? [His voice rises in volume at that question, but then he goes back to a volume barely above a whisper.] A few more months of hiding away? That's what I have. A few months to stay here in an attempt to learn what it is I might do with my life. What's after the barge? You go home, try to be normal, but you have seen so much. You have learned so much. Those people, those people at home, they won't be the same. You will see them as a solider back from war does. With skeptical eyes and a wary glance. Because what if they aren't real? You have had your perception twisted so much now. What if it is just a trick of the Admiral?
Don't fool yourselves into thinking you will know. How many times have you "known" reality here, only to learn later that you were under the effects of...something?
That's why I never went home. For how can I trust what is true and what is a lie?
[Private to Admiral Santa]
I want him back. If you can't do that, then fuck you and get me more games for this stupid DS. And wine.
Everyone else is on their own this year