eyes
For the past 6 months or so, I've been having trouble reading. It's weird... I've always processed words automatically -- Looking at a sign and seeing what it says are a single, indivisible action. But lately whether it's a sign or a book or a computer, I have to concentrate for a second to look at it properly. It feels like my eyes have forgotten how to move across a page. And even when I do get into reading it, I skip and misread words a lot, which basically never happened before.
So today I went to the optometrist, for the first eye exam I've had since I was a little kid (I'm just assuming I had one then). She said my intraocular pressure is normal, my sclera are clear, and my retina is nice and smooth, but I do have a touch of astigmatism. I'd actually have been happier if she'd said it was much worse -- maybe even that I was completely out of stigmata -- because that would give a clear, remediable reason for the reading difficulty. As it is, it's indeterminate, just like all my other problems. So I can't dismiss the little part of my brain that keeps worrying I had a stroke (of course, this worry can be attached to any problem from depression to joint pain to losing your taste for oranges).
Anyway, I'm getting glasses! They should be in a week from Monday. I think they're pretty sweet.
Also, tomorrow morning I'm getting a brain MRI, which is actually for a completely different problem that I won't go into, except that it's unambiguous and not hypochondriacal, and was recommended by a real doctor. Probably nothing is wrong. And I already got shot up with gadolinium once, at the behest of that crazy-ass orthopedic surgeon back in Ann Arbor who really liked having needles stuck into my hip joint, so I don't have to worry that I'm in the extremely tiny set of people who die horribly when given gadolinium. All I have to do is lie in the tube, listen to the minimalist techno, and maybe catch an extra half hour of sleep. Then I get pictures! And by the time I have my followup appointment with the neurologist, I'll be able to see all the little details of my brain with unprecedented clarity.
So today I went to the optometrist, for the first eye exam I've had since I was a little kid (I'm just assuming I had one then). She said my intraocular pressure is normal, my sclera are clear, and my retina is nice and smooth, but I do have a touch of astigmatism. I'd actually have been happier if she'd said it was much worse -- maybe even that I was completely out of stigmata -- because that would give a clear, remediable reason for the reading difficulty. As it is, it's indeterminate, just like all my other problems. So I can't dismiss the little part of my brain that keeps worrying I had a stroke (of course, this worry can be attached to any problem from depression to joint pain to losing your taste for oranges).
Anyway, I'm getting glasses! They should be in a week from Monday. I think they're pretty sweet.
Also, tomorrow morning I'm getting a brain MRI, which is actually for a completely different problem that I won't go into, except that it's unambiguous and not hypochondriacal, and was recommended by a real doctor. Probably nothing is wrong. And I already got shot up with gadolinium once, at the behest of that crazy-ass orthopedic surgeon back in Ann Arbor who really liked having needles stuck into my hip joint, so I don't have to worry that I'm in the extremely tiny set of people who die horribly when given gadolinium. All I have to do is lie in the tube, listen to the minimalist techno, and maybe catch an extra half hour of sleep. Then I get pictures! And by the time I have my followup appointment with the neurologist, I'll be able to see all the little details of my brain with unprecedented clarity.