LT Day 2: Housekeeping & Worship
It's midnight & it's late but I need to get stuff down.
I had my first full day of work today & it wasn't too bad. Housekeeping is pretty fun & once you get the hang of things, time passes pretty quick. It also gives great opportunity to meet others - I even shared my testimony with a new friend, Morgan, today & found out she lives down my hall. Sweet, sweet.
Unfortunately, I've been fighting what I fear is another throat infection... It started as a sore throat the night before we left for LT [same night that Lily had her stomach flu & Shalom had suffered an ear & eye infection right as she left for LT... Satan does cruel things in attempts to keep us from the Lord]. Anyway, I've been trying to treat it with so many different over the counter medications but they only have been temporarily soothing & now there's undeniable swelling of my left lymph node/tonsil(?) that's starting to cause me a lot of neck pain... I'm going to finally get it checked out tomorrow after work I hope. Prayers for health & healing appreciated for all of us; adjusting to the altitude & cold has been a challenge as well but that soon shall pass.
We had a Project Group (PG) dinner tonight & registration for LT. Then Ben (Stephen's younger brother), Lily & I went on short hike to Glacier Creek before doubling back for the LT opening ceremony & worship. & wow... What a worship!
Opening worship was just filled with joy & dancing & singing. It was just exciting to be there with so many others chasing after a deeper relationship with Christ this summer. Our LT Directer led us through a powerful message that truly humbled me. Leading a *focused* life, building character, staying devoted despite residing in a dark, painful "cesspool" of a world, realizing what we are devoted to, what we should be devoted to, what we want to be devoted to.
Taking a vow, making a promise & saying the words, wanting so bad to be authentic, to really mean them, to truly be saying them out loud to God, to Jesus. Somewhere along the way, I broke. I've heard this prompt before again & again. Jessica, what are you really devoted to? Why are you really here?
"Because I love you"
& in that moment, I knew I truly, honestly did.
Closing worship was a deep contrast to opening worship, filled with heartbreak, tears & longing. I longed to be with Christ, I longed deeply to truly love him. To give my life to him, to engage more fully in an intimate relationship with him.
I love From The Inside Out by Hillsong United. It's one of my favorite worship songs that never fails to bring me to tears & my soul to my knees before God. But tonight, I heard a different message through it that I had not quite heard before.
"Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise"
Everything else turned pale... Everything else I had worried about, cared about, the things I devoted any moment of precious time to, the things that were about me, me, me & what I wanted for me & my life. I felt I understood better that what I really needed to do was lose myself as I live to bring Him praise. It's not enough to sacrifice my desire or earthly things & replace that with living for the Lord - my focus should be living for the Lord FIRST, losing myself in the process. Because even if I'm sacrificing, even if I'm actively giving up things for the Lord - that's still putting me in the center of it. That's still viewing things from my own insignificant perspective; "how is this affecting *me*/what I do?"
I want Jesus to be the center of my world... everything else will follow.
Lastly... walking out of the chapel, tear-stained, emotionally drained, I had the privilege of witnessing the sea of stars above my head, a view not easily seen from a well-lit, big city like LA. The deep, receding vastness seemed to stretch forever yet at the same time felt close enough that I could pluck the stars from the sky with my fingertips. God is truly amazing. He is truly beautiful.
In His Love,
Jess
I had my first full day of work today & it wasn't too bad. Housekeeping is pretty fun & once you get the hang of things, time passes pretty quick. It also gives great opportunity to meet others - I even shared my testimony with a new friend, Morgan, today & found out she lives down my hall. Sweet, sweet.
Unfortunately, I've been fighting what I fear is another throat infection... It started as a sore throat the night before we left for LT [same night that Lily had her stomach flu & Shalom had suffered an ear & eye infection right as she left for LT... Satan does cruel things in attempts to keep us from the Lord]. Anyway, I've been trying to treat it with so many different over the counter medications but they only have been temporarily soothing & now there's undeniable swelling of my left lymph node/tonsil(?) that's starting to cause me a lot of neck pain... I'm going to finally get it checked out tomorrow after work I hope. Prayers for health & healing appreciated for all of us; adjusting to the altitude & cold has been a challenge as well but that soon shall pass.
We had a Project Group (PG) dinner tonight & registration for LT. Then Ben (Stephen's younger brother), Lily & I went on short hike to Glacier Creek before doubling back for the LT opening ceremony & worship. & wow... What a worship!
Opening worship was just filled with joy & dancing & singing. It was just exciting to be there with so many others chasing after a deeper relationship with Christ this summer. Our LT Directer led us through a powerful message that truly humbled me. Leading a *focused* life, building character, staying devoted despite residing in a dark, painful "cesspool" of a world, realizing what we are devoted to, what we should be devoted to, what we want to be devoted to.
Taking a vow, making a promise & saying the words, wanting so bad to be authentic, to really mean them, to truly be saying them out loud to God, to Jesus. Somewhere along the way, I broke. I've heard this prompt before again & again. Jessica, what are you really devoted to? Why are you really here?
"Because I love you"
& in that moment, I knew I truly, honestly did.
Closing worship was a deep contrast to opening worship, filled with heartbreak, tears & longing. I longed to be with Christ, I longed deeply to truly love him. To give my life to him, to engage more fully in an intimate relationship with him.
I love From The Inside Out by Hillsong United. It's one of my favorite worship songs that never fails to bring me to tears & my soul to my knees before God. But tonight, I heard a different message through it that I had not quite heard before.
"Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise"
Everything else turned pale... Everything else I had worried about, cared about, the things I devoted any moment of precious time to, the things that were about me, me, me & what I wanted for me & my life. I felt I understood better that what I really needed to do was lose myself as I live to bring Him praise. It's not enough to sacrifice my desire or earthly things & replace that with living for the Lord - my focus should be living for the Lord FIRST, losing myself in the process. Because even if I'm sacrificing, even if I'm actively giving up things for the Lord - that's still putting me in the center of it. That's still viewing things from my own insignificant perspective; "how is this affecting *me*/what I do?"
I want Jesus to be the center of my world... everything else will follow.
Lastly... walking out of the chapel, tear-stained, emotionally drained, I had the privilege of witnessing the sea of stars above my head, a view not easily seen from a well-lit, big city like LA. The deep, receding vastness seemed to stretch forever yet at the same time felt close enough that I could pluck the stars from the sky with my fingertips. God is truly amazing. He is truly beautiful.
In His Love,
Jess