(no subject)
i haven't written in here forever...and that's okay. I want to write now. I have a lot of thoughts that may not make sense, so since I doubt anyone reads this anymore, I feel fully confident that I can just write...and it won't matter. and I like that.
I feel like my soul is bursting at the seams. Like I want to break free, but can't...I feel stuck sometimes. Stuck in this life, in this place. I don't know how to leave. Do I really want to leave? I feel like if the right thing happened, I wouldn't want to leave. But I don't know what that thing is, or maybe I do and I'm keeping it from you...from me.
How many times do we promise ourselves something and then break it? Oftentimes we're okay with that too...like o well, next time I'll do it. I don't want to be okay with that. If I can't be true to myself how can I expect myself to be true to others? But I am. I'd rather fail myself than someone else, because then I'm only hurting me. Consequences are more easily dealt with...yes? yes. Maybe not more easily dealt with, but I'm the only party involved.
I'm tired of being complacent. I want to break free of this...of this life, this place. Be something more than what I am. I'm not knocking on myself entirely...I just know I can be more, and I'm not striving to do so.
Every once in awhile I have these small revelations...let's see if something actually happens. I don't want to just live my life...I really want to live it. I want to make the most of who I am, where I am, and who I meet. I need to go. But I guess I should start where I am and not get ahead of myself, eh?
I feel like my soul is bursting at the seams. Like I want to break free, but can't...I feel stuck sometimes. Stuck in this life, in this place. I don't know how to leave. Do I really want to leave? I feel like if the right thing happened, I wouldn't want to leave. But I don't know what that thing is, or maybe I do and I'm keeping it from you...from me.
How many times do we promise ourselves something and then break it? Oftentimes we're okay with that too...like o well, next time I'll do it. I don't want to be okay with that. If I can't be true to myself how can I expect myself to be true to others? But I am. I'd rather fail myself than someone else, because then I'm only hurting me. Consequences are more easily dealt with...yes? yes. Maybe not more easily dealt with, but I'm the only party involved.
I'm tired of being complacent. I want to break free of this...of this life, this place. Be something more than what I am. I'm not knocking on myself entirely...I just know I can be more, and I'm not striving to do so.
Every once in awhile I have these small revelations...let's see if something actually happens. I don't want to just live my life...I really want to live it. I want to make the most of who I am, where I am, and who I meet. I need to go. But I guess I should start where I am and not get ahead of myself, eh?