i've never been too good with secrets
i wrote verbal letters in the mall parking lot tonight. this was my favorite:"dear people who don't look for cars before crossing the street,
i ADORE you. i mean, really. you are my favorite kind of people ON EARTH. i love having to slam on the brakes of my already-precarious topheavy minivan on slick asphalt because you can't follow the inane instructions 'look both ways before crossing the street,’ no doubt drilled into your skulls when you were INFANTS. i appreciate you, seriously, I'M NOT FUCKING JOKING. you make life so much more interesting. and for that, i applaud you, o cloistered tenants of the pedestrian walkway. honestly.
EX-OH,
lindsay!!1"
on a, um, heavier note i guess. dear everything, please, please stop being so hard. love, lindsay.
i ADORE you. i mean, really. you are my favorite kind of people ON EARTH. i love having to slam on the brakes of my already-precarious topheavy minivan on slick asphalt because you can't follow the inane instructions 'look both ways before crossing the street,’ no doubt drilled into your skulls when you were INFANTS. i appreciate you, seriously, I'M NOT FUCKING JOKING. you make life so much more interesting. and for that, i applaud you, o cloistered tenants of the pedestrian walkway. honestly.
EX-OH,
lindsay!!1"
on a, um, heavier note i guess. dear everything, please, please stop being so hard. love, lindsay.