(no subject)
Time for my first Sue-bashing! How excited am I? Very, I like inflicting pain. Today's sue and stu are misplaced characters who don't follow the facts of the book, making them target practice.
FIC -
SUMMARY:Follow the journey of Derek through the magical world as he takes on creatures unknown. leave feedback for me. If you have read this before, i recently split the prolouge into two parts for easier reading.
TITLE: Tagurah http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2758498/1/
AUTHOR'S NAME: Du Edoc'sil http://www.fanfiction.net/u/970627/
RATING: One dragon burned you. This could have been better, and it could have been worse. What really put it over is the fact that the Stu was a Rider. That, and the time-skip, modern slang.
SUE/STU -
FULL NAME: Derek and Ana
RACE: Derek - “It was an elf or so it seemed to be.”
APPEARANCE: Derek - green eyes, taller than a man, Ana - brown hair in a pony tail, blue eyes and a blue shirt
POSSESSIONS: Apparently, the two of them have a clutch of dragon eggs, and Derek has a dragon.
HISTORY: Ana and Derek meet as he bumps into her when he finds a clutch of 6 dragon eggs, which he immediately knows he’ll use to revive the dragons. He wants to talk to Ana, who is with a guide going to the ‘Mountain Academy.’
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Derek’s a Rider.
NOTES: So, this story has two paragraph chapters, a completely confusing prologue format going, and minor grammar errors. Ana and Derek speak in modern slang, and Derek seems to think that he can make up his own words of the ancient language. Why are they Sue/Stu? First, Derek’s a Rider. And their slang, which was not typed with correct grammar, bugged the life out of me. So, two misplaced kids are going to save dragon-kind? That seems so likely . . .
SAMPLE:
'“Hi” he stammered, almost out of breath.
“Hi,” came the reply
“Listen, I’m sorry I bumped into you back there I just…” They slowed to a stop, “wasn’t paying attention.”
“Its ok, I’m kinda glad you did.” She said, and started walking again. Once more, Derek stood dumbfounded.
Does she mean what I think she means? He thought. He ran to catch up to the group again
“Hey I don’t think I caught your name” Derek implied
“It’s Ana,” was the reply.
“Ana, that’s a nice name. Mines Derek, in case you were wondering I mean. Not saying that you were or anything.”
“Thanks, ill remember it” '
My eyes!!! What was that doing in an Eragon fic?