(no subject)
Every day I make a to-do list, &every day I get little to none of the things on it done. I'm fully aware of my incapability to get things done, to find motivation to perform mundane tasks, to be responsible when all I want to do is be spontaneous &carefree. Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to live a life in which you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, all the time? Maybe it'd ruin my character, but I'd sure as hell enjoy it.
Also, I feel as though my body is slowly falling apart. Despite those around me denying them, I feel uglier, bigger, bitchier, etc. There's a lyric in a Tegan &Sara song, "I wouldn't like me if I met me" that I feel my life is completely in tune with right now. Cliché? Maybe. Fuck you. I like to bitch about things that irritate me. I have a little papercut on my finger that I think is infected. My favorite pair of blue flats are ripping in the toes. I don't have enough money in my bank account to refill my prescriptions. I can't remember to mail letters I wrote more than a week ago. I lost my phone at a Jewish UT frat party last weekend. My hair is too long &I don't have the money to get it cut &don't trust myself to cut it. The cafeteria was out of potatoes by the time I got there today. I miss Bella's salad dressing. Kimmie &Jimmy both mailed me letters/packages over a week ago &neither has arrived yet.
The funny part is that my life doesn't suck. I have a great life. I have beautiful friends, I have a boy who's head over heels for me &I love ridiculously in return, I go to an amazing school, &my family supports me wholeheartedly. Consequently, I've come to the conclusion that I'm a sniveling, whiney girl who needs to snap out of dwelling on the baby-problems of life &finish doing homework.
Cíao.