Dark Moods
I got slammed tonight with a deep blue mood out of nowhere. I am BUMMED. I don't really know why, so I start exploring possible ideas, which is super counterproductive. Trying to come up with reasons why I might be sad is not a great use of a Friday night.
One idea, that I am not proud of, that is super whiny and selfish and dumb, is that I feel like I initiate 95% of the social interactions I have. I spend so much time reaching out to people and trying to maintain friendships and I'm just tired. But also, I know this is bullshit, Sonya and I had brunch last weekend and they initiated it, not me. Randy invited me to join him and Andy tonight but instead I got pouty and stayed home. Like, I know it's not true but it's justifying my petulant, whiny, toddler-pouty mood.
Mostly I really miss Mac and he is one who NEVER reaches out, so I'm willing to do the heavy lifting there because his friendship is super important to me. We were supposed to get brunch last week and he had to bail, and since then he has been unresponsive and I'm just annoyed. I haven't seen him in like two months and we have so much to catch up on and I just want to hang out with my damn friend and why is he so bad at this?
Still pouty, still blue, this isn't helping.
One idea, that I am not proud of, that is super whiny and selfish and dumb, is that I feel like I initiate 95% of the social interactions I have. I spend so much time reaching out to people and trying to maintain friendships and I'm just tired. But also, I know this is bullshit, Sonya and I had brunch last weekend and they initiated it, not me. Randy invited me to join him and Andy tonight but instead I got pouty and stayed home. Like, I know it's not true but it's justifying my petulant, whiny, toddler-pouty mood.
Mostly I really miss Mac and he is one who NEVER reaches out, so I'm willing to do the heavy lifting there because his friendship is super important to me. We were supposed to get brunch last week and he had to bail, and since then he has been unresponsive and I'm just annoyed. I haven't seen him in like two months and we have so much to catch up on and I just want to hang out with my damn friend and why is he so bad at this?
Still pouty, still blue, this isn't helping.