Because Complaining is the Only Way
I hate the whole giving and receiving gifts thing. I'm so glad that in my family we focus on the kids and draw names for the adults. We have a dollar limit and we send out lists so we get things we want. It's tidy and easy and there's no waste or junk. I got two books I asked for from my brother's wife's stepdad and my mom got us a fantastic cookbook, whisk and tea towel. Perfect. Done.
My in-laws though. Lord. They are so wonderful and they mean well and they love so deeply. I just wish they could understand that gifts are not important. They spend money in the junkiest junk and agonize about how it will be received.
Last year my MIL was so stressed that she sent someone ELSE out to buy us gifts. Someone who hardly knows us. She even cried about it! What! I ended up with a very pink selection of housekeeping things. With lots of flowers on them. It was kind if awful. I was able to salvage the white napkins by removing the border of fluffy pom-poms and the very rugged (if very pink) rubber gloves are great, but just, why? Why buy me things when you have absolutely no idea what I like? Why not ask me?
This year there was an issue of Cosmo in my stocking, thank goodness not a subscription. I haven't read Cosmo since before I grew my critical thinking feminist wings and it's so terrible. It's oppressive in every way to women and kind of makes me sick.
I also got a couple of really ugly reusable bags made out of old thrift store t-shirts. My MIL said she was looking for things that are orange (because I think once 10 years ago I said I liked orange a lot, completely ignoring the fact that I wear yellow everything all the time) and the only orange thing she could find was this weird shirt bag with spiders on it. I just...
She tries. I'm so ungrateful. But just don't. Don't spend money. Or donate it. Or take us out to dinner.
It just baffles me that a family who I have spent time with for over a decade doesn't know me at all. But I guess it shouldn't because they also don't know their son. Andy got a hoodie that is way too big and a magazine about Apple computers. Which he doesn't use. But he has an iPhone so I guess that's an honest mistake?
Thankfully his sister gave us a bottle of wine. Thank you. Yes. But also a pair of cheap glass heavy faux crystal goblets. Sigh.
And we buy them nothing. Every year. And they know this. I encourage Andy to talk to his mom, some other time of the year, obvs, about either setting up a secret Santa situation like we do or just donating to a charity or doing an activity instead. He's hesitant because as you can guess, his family is not full of great communicators.
I just want to run away at Christmas time and come back in March.