please take note of emergency exits
tonight feels lonely and wasted, like i'm never gonna be where i should. where i should is never gonna be what i tell myself i need, and want never comes into question except in vague images of things i don't deserve. i need a new path to walk, this one feels beaten and over-traveled now, worn into something full of holes and not enough space, compacted hesitance and the skitter-slide of a lack of texture. watch the signs, they'll tell you where to go. attention passengers, encountering reduced traction, please find something to be passionate about and hang on. something about turbulence and decreased visibility. severe weather delays grounded lay-overs waiting watching thinking pacing tired red-eye redline mainline coffee non-stop eleven(th) hour terminal nervousness. in case of an emergency water landing, the underlying anxiety can be used as a flotation device. i feel like i'm kicking so hard to tread just enough, fighting so hard to break surface. i suppose we all are. you feel most alone in the middle of an epidemic; getting by isn't any different.