*and now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, even if it's alone*
I'm a slave to my new job and I don't think I like it. I really like the people I work with but the whole experience leaves me empty. And I hate it because I'm not a quitter. I know it's only a job, only to make some money. But I miss the Rouge and small-restaurant-atmosphere. You worked your ass off but it was fulfilling. I'm annoyed with so many things already and I've only been there for a week. I shouldn't complain but it's just not even half enjoyable. I was at Cafe Gardens for the first time the other night and they're hiring. I may try and double with them. At the very least I've found a new retreat.
On a more enjoyable note, the boy came to visit. He makes this town. I love that his prescence is marked by diet coke cans, ham subs, and milk in my fridge that he bought for me. I love that when I'm with him I make sense. He is supportive and he doesn't even know it. He's wonderful without trying.
I guess I just want my familiarity back. I want this apartment full of friends, conversation, and furniture (ha!). I want to be seen as capable because I know I am. I want the life it's taken 3 years and plus to create. I want to enjoy the moments I'm in instead of racing towards the next one.
Tomorrow I'll wake up exhausted, have a shift I'll either enjoy or want to cry about, come home and attempt to do something for myself and for no other reason, and ultimately pass out. And I'll sit in this tiny room that's the only thing comforting now and I'll countdown to future shows in hour-away towns.
I'll countdown to an escape.
On a more enjoyable note, the boy came to visit. He makes this town. I love that his prescence is marked by diet coke cans, ham subs, and milk in my fridge that he bought for me. I love that when I'm with him I make sense. He is supportive and he doesn't even know it. He's wonderful without trying.
I guess I just want my familiarity back. I want this apartment full of friends, conversation, and furniture (ha!). I want to be seen as capable because I know I am. I want the life it's taken 3 years and plus to create. I want to enjoy the moments I'm in instead of racing towards the next one.
Tomorrow I'll wake up exhausted, have a shift I'll either enjoy or want to cry about, come home and attempt to do something for myself and for no other reason, and ultimately pass out. And I'll sit in this tiny room that's the only thing comforting now and I'll countdown to future shows in hour-away towns.
I'll countdown to an escape.