(no subject)
Hmmm, its been awhile.
In most recent news, we have internet and cable now. Bought a good computer from a friend for pretty cheap, Owen took 5 steps last weekend!! He hasnt showed much interest in walking, LOTS of interest in climbing though. I think we might have a rockclimber on our hands. I love him so much, its ridiculous. I actually need to get some oatmeal ready and wake him up. He went to bed later last night and since Dan and I woke up a little late, Dan took the car and I've him let sleep.
His birthday is coming up really fast. I still have lots to do around here. Cleaning, planting, more cleaning.
The other night I started going through cds and dvds to see what was on them, since I have a nifty computer I could finally do such a thing. I found a million pictures, from high school, from Rams horn, from parties, from hanging out. It was amazing. I still have a small stack to finish, but I was really exited.
Came across a picture of Chris and myself. It made my heart ache. Well, to be honest, when I was finally alone, I just sat and cried. I suppose one might say I've been bottling up those feelings. The thoughts of him. I keep them to myself, and I wonder if thats not such a good thing. Sometimes theres a part of my mind that wants to pretend hes still here and just on a trip somewhere. In a sense he is. Everytime I hear about something to do with the trial I end up livid. Fuming with anger. I try to diffuse it, but it comes back. Probably always will.
I miss the smell of him...I just miss him.
I need to let the sunshine in. I need to let music heal my soul. I need to let me heal my soul. I realized this yesterday after I found an acoustic version of "Hey Ya". After singing for 30 minutes with it on repeat, I get in the car to go to work and the cherished Bob Marley was on the radio. I was in the best mood that I've been in, in weeks. I've been pretty depressed, for awhile. For multiple reasons. But, Its time to be alive again.
So, if anyone wants to go on walks with me, or sit and have a jam session. Please call me. =0)
In most recent news, we have internet and cable now. Bought a good computer from a friend for pretty cheap, Owen took 5 steps last weekend!! He hasnt showed much interest in walking, LOTS of interest in climbing though. I think we might have a rockclimber on our hands. I love him so much, its ridiculous. I actually need to get some oatmeal ready and wake him up. He went to bed later last night and since Dan and I woke up a little late, Dan took the car and I've him let sleep.
His birthday is coming up really fast. I still have lots to do around here. Cleaning, planting, more cleaning.
The other night I started going through cds and dvds to see what was on them, since I have a nifty computer I could finally do such a thing. I found a million pictures, from high school, from Rams horn, from parties, from hanging out. It was amazing. I still have a small stack to finish, but I was really exited.
Came across a picture of Chris and myself. It made my heart ache. Well, to be honest, when I was finally alone, I just sat and cried. I suppose one might say I've been bottling up those feelings. The thoughts of him. I keep them to myself, and I wonder if thats not such a good thing. Sometimes theres a part of my mind that wants to pretend hes still here and just on a trip somewhere. In a sense he is. Everytime I hear about something to do with the trial I end up livid. Fuming with anger. I try to diffuse it, but it comes back. Probably always will.
I miss the smell of him...I just miss him.
I need to let the sunshine in. I need to let music heal my soul. I need to let me heal my soul. I realized this yesterday after I found an acoustic version of "Hey Ya". After singing for 30 minutes with it on repeat, I get in the car to go to work and the cherished Bob Marley was on the radio. I was in the best mood that I've been in, in weeks. I've been pretty depressed, for awhile. For multiple reasons. But, Its time to be alive again.
So, if anyone wants to go on walks with me, or sit and have a jam session. Please call me. =0)