Redemption Arc Syndrome, a fan problem
Character does bad things --> Character is defeated by good guys --> Character reforms and comes/returns to the light --> We like Character now --> You know, Character had a point when they were evil --> And they weren't really that evil anyway, life isn't black and white --> It was totally good guy's fault all along --> Good guy was really the
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(This is always especially ironic towards me with Spike, because fans are on the Scoobies' case for not welcoming Spike with open arms in S5 and S6, and, well...they did. Back in S4, when they had absolutely no reason to, I know both Xander and Giles tried to reach out to Spike. And Spike rudely turned them down.)
Faith is pretty much in the same pool as Spike. It's even commented on in the show. Buffy and Giles had their hand out to her as late as the body swap only to be kicked for it. This is pretty much what drives their resentment of both characters. Come to think of it, it's the difference much of the time. I remember Jane explicitly wrote to scene in FD as a commentary on how just about everyone one the group was a killer, but only Andrew has to atone, except Buffy doesn't make him atone. He does it himself.
Which goes to your second paragraph. It has nothing to do with morality level--again, this is noted in the show that Buffy thinks she could be Faith under circumstances different--but simple resentment driven by Faith's choices. It's like Xander and Spike. It's often said he hates him because he's a vamp, conveniently forgetting Spike was a total asshole to him. Sure, he uses his past as a weapon, but it's just that. See also: Willow and her "slut-shaming" of Cordy. Words and intent behind the words are different things, something fans (tumblr in particular) seem to have trouble with. Does Willow really think less of Cordy/Faith or are they just words that have bite? I tend to think it's the latter. Maybe it's a generational thing. Back in the 90s, at least in my group of people, words were just words.
Overall, I agree. Sure, the Scoobies would have been "perfect" if they kept their hand out no matter how many times they were bit and them getting tired of it is a flaw in the strictest sense of the world, but also pretty unrealistic.
Aaaanyway, a lot of words to say I agree. It's basically "You killed people!/Yeah, well, you didn't come to a complete stop at that sign!" level of back and forth.
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The resentment of the Scoobies for not eternally holding out their hand to others hasn't always been restricted to fans of characters who've been murderers. A long time ago, I read a fic set in Season Five featuring a crossover guest appearance by Cordelia and Gunn from AtS. Long story short, after an adventure prompted by one of Cordy's visions, and punctuated by uncharacteristic unilateral rudeness and ingratitude by Buffy, Willow, and Giles (Xander was completely absent), it all builds up to an ending made up of Cordelia excoriating Buffy, Willow, and Giles for their failure to hold out their hand to her in ever-patient support and friendship after the fallout from the Clothes Fluke no matter how rude or angry to them she had presented herself to them back in Season Three. And Gunn, Anya, and Tara were written to be Cordelia's supporting Greek Chorus, outraged about B/W/G's behavior, while the story ends in B/W/G hanging their heads in shame.
The author had a history of writing fics that excoriated characters for failing to live up to the super-heroic levels of morality and behavior he seemed to expect at all times, first Xander and then moving on to Willow in Season Four with some of her post-break-up-with-Oz funk, and he somehow seemed to decide upon Cordelia as the standard-bearer for moral standards.
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Oh, it's not just murderers, no. I know of what you speak! The Core Scooby hate from Cordy fans is off the map. But she had her redemption arc in her own way on AtS where she grew as a character (or lost all personality, however you wanna look at it) on Angel.
I really, really hate their belief that there should have been a crossover where goes back to SD and floors them with her awesomeness.
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