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Another thing I haven't mentioned here is a year-long battle with depression. More than that now, actually. The anxiety is hereditary and I manage it by staying fact-based about complex issues, but the depression was pastede on yey and I did not need that on top of everything else thanks very much. It took all year to find the right medication to
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I went to Niagara once as a kid -- it was astounding! Mostly, I think I'd like to go places someday purely to find a corner, sit down, and draw them.
Thank you!<3 Haven't had art or fic energy for a while, and am just about burning out of RP again; I'd picked up Bel Thorne after falling headfirst into the Vorkosiverse last fall. Reading helped a lot when I was really low. There was an excellent Dreamwidth game with a premise perfect for Bel, but it grew past my capacity to handle (because it's a great game). I feel I'll have had a characterization level-up when I write again.
Oh! Some really good news is that I figured out oversensitivity to blue light was at least partially behind my sleep disorder. ((RAMBLE AHEAD~)) Entrainment usually rests with whether a specific nerve in the eye receives enough light at specific times of day; any light promotes cortisol (the "stress" or "wake" hormone), which ideally increases slowly until you wake up and then spikes about twenty minutes after waking; but blue and possibly green light suppress the body's production of melatonin, which promotes sleep. Since increasing exposure to blue light in the morning didn't seem to help me entrain anything, I got a pair of amber glasses and have been putting them on ~two hours before bedtime, and lo, I actually feel like going to sleep two hours later without having to turn off all the lights and lie awake in the dark for hours first. And I wake before the alarm. It's awesome!
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Niagara was beautiful, but so so crowded. I've been able to maintain some RPing now for years, thanks to some great playpals, and the big improvement since last December has been in art; I've been drawing up a storm, working on something every day, and wow is that different, you know? It's one of my insecure areas, but right now I have some measure confidence in it, whereas with writing, I feel-- I dunno, scared to try.
Ramble away! Have you looked into f.lux? It's what I use (when I'm not disabling it to paint... >.>) and it automatically changes your computer screen slooooowly throughout the evening until it's very orange. Amber glasses are a great idea, I'm so glad you figured it out, because damn, not being able to sleep is so incredibly hard. I've been having that problem the past few weeks, too.
There anything I can do to boost your spirits up? <3
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Who've you been playing? And yeah, haven't had commenting energy but have been seeing your Due South stuff and wow! :D The good thing about art + writing is that you can often do one while your brain is tied up downloading the upgrade for the other one. I had both doing the hourglass thing this year, but there are positive signs that they're almost there.
I do use f.lux, yep! It's good. The advantage of the glasses is that unlike a device-specific fix, I can spend the rest of the evening not having to worry about every other device or light in the area; they're all preemptively taken care of.
Just seeing your name makes me smile. Be there, be you, take care of yourself.<3
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I get it. Some days, just engaging with people a bit empties my tank. <3 Thanks, though. I try to draw on days I can't even think to, just to do something, though I don't always succeed.
I'm glad the glasses are working. LOL! I might have to give those a go at some point myself. And I am so happy to see you, too. ^^; I shall indeed be here, me and I am trying to do the last one too.
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