its getting close
8 more days..... or as Owen would say.... 8 more sleeps. i have a lot of different emotions going through me..... could be more than one reason for it, but i feel like it all stems from me moving away. part of me feels like it will be a relief to everyone once i'm gone. i keep getting this question from friends of the family: "i thought you weren't coming home this summer!" and my gut reaction is, "well did it screw up your plans that i came home for 3 weeks?" i'm feeling a tiny bit of regret that i'm going. sort of like i feel like i'll miss out on something once i'm gone. like the fun will start the second the plane takes off and i'll only get to hear about it and see pictures. all i've ever known is here.... and i don't really want to leave it behind. i just know that i can't stay here. i need to leave and live my life. but i want to have both lives together, even though it is impossible. i'm also really very nervous/scared.... i'll be living with someone that i've only been with a total of 6 weeks. what if we just don't get along? what if i annoy the hell out of him? what if i snore or something??? what if i don't get a job? what if i pass out from heat exhaustion? what if i get too sunburned to move? and.... and.... what if there's a tornado????? i'm trying desperately not to think about that last one, but it keeps creeping back into my mind. the worst i've dealt with is a blizzard and some bad rain storms. i don't want to be swept away like dorothy and toto. OZ would be nice, but not through a twister to get there.....
*****most importantly, i'm very excited. i'm excited to actually be an adult and do adult things. make my own dinner..... do grown up stuff..... and not have to report to anyone any more. i'm very excited to not have to wish to be with Sam. he'll be there when i wake up and when i go to bed. he'll just be an arms reach away instead of a phone call away. no more count downs.... no more tearful goodbyes...... just kisses and hugs and picnics and all that sappy stuff. almost every other couple i know sees each other every day. i can barely imagine what that will be like.... i've never had that before. and i can't wait for it. only 8 sleeps away.... and then practically every sleep after that, he'll be right beside me, making me the happiest girl in the world.
*****most importantly, i'm very excited. i'm excited to actually be an adult and do adult things. make my own dinner..... do grown up stuff..... and not have to report to anyone any more. i'm very excited to not have to wish to be with Sam. he'll be there when i wake up and when i go to bed. he'll just be an arms reach away instead of a phone call away. no more count downs.... no more tearful goodbyes...... just kisses and hugs and picnics and all that sappy stuff. almost every other couple i know sees each other every day. i can barely imagine what that will be like.... i've never had that before. and i can't wait for it. only 8 sleeps away.... and then practically every sleep after that, he'll be right beside me, making me the happiest girl in the world.