ISS 2012: for penny_lane_42

[comebackmods]

Title: I’d Give You My Eyes
Pairing/Focus: Myungsoo/Sungyeol
Rating: PG
Word count: 1822 words
Summary: Myungsoo can’t help but hate Sungyeol, sometimes.

To: penny_lane_42
From: Your Secret Santa

Comments

[penny_lane_42]

Oh, I am so delighted by this! People almost never write their relationship the way I see it, but this exactly the way I see it.

lines of a script that he hasn’t made a single mark on, except for the faint stamp of oil from his fingertips as he ran them along each line. Sungyeol’s scripts - when he gets them, and Myungsoo can’t help but feel guilt for appealing more - are an explosion of colour, motivation and understanding staining Sungyeol’s hands when a marker rolls astray.

I love this detail.

Maybe sometimes Myungsoo wishes that Sungyeol would let him hold on just a bit longer. Maybe Sungyeol could reach out and tangle their fingers together for once, or pull him close enough to kiss, instead of Myungsoo always always making that first move.

OH DAMN. This is so realistic. Like: really. If they were ever really together, I am 100% Myungsoo would feel exactly this way.

. He could spend hours just running his hands over every line, every curve - if Sungyeol would hold for that. It’s not that Myungsoo begrudges him his energy. But Myungsoo can hold a tiny kernel of resentment, deep in his stomach where the flames of his passions can’t reach; just a tiny bit of anger towards such a thing....Sungyeol sleeps restlessly. Myungsoo knows that if Sungyeol would just let Myungsoo wrap Sungyeol up in his arms, then Sungyeol would sleep the night through, still and silent. But Sungyeol complains of the heat of his body and the weight of his arms.

You are killing me with feelings of THIS IS HOW IT MUST BE. Like, that's what it's always going to be like to be Kim Myungsoo: anyone else is going to find the intensity of your affection suffocating.

and he’d turned away before Myungsoo could argue that he didn’t want easier.

KIM MYUNGSOO YOU KILL ME DEAD.

waits with a patience Myungsoo hadn’t realised he had possessed. Calm and quiet and Myungsoo half-wishes he’d interrupt, say something, stop Myungsoo from struggling along. Sungyeol makes Myungsoo do it on his own. It’s a tie in Myungsoo whether he feels grateful or bitter.

Gah. Feelings!

Sungyeol very rarely initiates anything. He knew this before they ever got together, but it doesn’t make it any easier for Myungsoo to swallow down insecurity. Myungsoo's always used touch as an indicator of affection. He can't help it. Myungsoo's tried hard to keep his hands to himself, stuffed in his pockets and away from anyone else, but they find themselves out on skin, and Myungsoo doesn't notice the difference in texture, the inside of his pocket to flesh, until the owner of the body moves. Myungsoo has never been very good at noticing things outside the scope of his own interests....Sungyeol is most definitely one of Myungsoo's interests.

This is all just so incredibly Myungsoo (and Sungyeol) that I do not know what to do with myself.

Because then it will be okay for Myungsoo to keep secrets, to keep Sungyeol wondering and guessing and maybe if Sungyeol's caught up in that he'll never get bored, and he'll never want to leave. Myungsoo can do that. He can keep a part of himself hidden even if he wants to be nothing more than an open book for Sungyeol, one that Sungyeol comes back to time and again, flicking through it until he finds his favourite parts, curling up and reading until he gets a crick in his neck.

UGH YES YES YES. "Hysterie" is totally the Kim Myungsoo In Love song, and of course he'd be worried all the time that Sungyeol is going to move on and that's his ultimate nightmare and he'll do anything to keep Sungyeol. Of course.