Again...
I feel like I am falling again. And its not a good fall like it use to be. Falling was my happy-place, but now it isn't. I feel like everything is being ripped from under me, like rock crumbling beneath my feet. Lunch wasn't good, not at all. Christie felt bad and so did I. Though I dunno if she was more frustated than sad. I was sad because I knew this was going to happen and no matter how hard I tried it wasn't going to stop. I started something accidentally and now it went all the way through. "Just a pinch," this nurse would coo. But, this isn't a pinch. The needle broke through at an alarming stab. Through the tissue to splinter off in the skin. Now an infection. Festering like an unnoticable greengang. You prod and poke, you clean, and cure. But, no. Still they have to amputate. Seperate from what I could have considered my right hand is now just a rotting limb to me. I can look at you, and know your still there. But, your decaying from my grasp. And soon I will became to do the same things I use to... with a little rehab. But, still I miss you now, my right hand. Why did I ever have to get that cold to get that shot?
Because if I didn't have fun and take a chance, I wouldn't have picked up the cold. And picking up the cold caused to get a shot which caused you, the fester.
Yes, this does relate to me. Its what has been happening in the last couple months and this is it as a metaphor. I am falling again, sadly. And again you won't notice. Because thats who you are. And I am not jealous, just pissed that you could replace me so quickly. You don't really have an idenity, do you? No. No. You don't. You copy. When you liked him, you liked The Doors. When started to like him, you started to listen to Green Day more, and then you started to become more into Star Wars than you already were. Maybe I am not liked by the guy I like because I don't change myself... But, I am not that in love to lose myself yet... Maybe you shouldn't be either... Again, I feel like falling. And maybe I am losing my grip with the greater urge to cry. I feel like I am ignored along with everyone else by you. I hope you see what you have done. Slowly your losing Csensich, Kelly, and Hervas. And maybe even me. I have told you before, and I am not willing to tell you anymore. I guess you could call this your last shot to hear out from me and actually pay attention. God knows you haven't before. Kelly is still quiet at lunch. Csensich is at the other table. Hervas is distances away. Remember when we all laughed. I dun anymore. When we all did. Together. I think I am sitting with Hervas tomorrow. Because Csensich, Kelly , and Hervas are the only ones who ask whats wrong anymore...
I wanna yell, scream at you all what you have been doing. That your losing your original friends. But, I don't want to keep you down and make you sad that you've made sad. I hate how you change with every new friend to keep them around. I hate how sometimes people sit between us. I hate everything about our lunch table. I hate how Kelly tries so hard to be included. How I ignore it and say its a phase. How you don't talk to me anymore unless I practically sit on you, and you don't even then like today. I hate it and I hope it dies. Dies so hard. So quickly. So fast. So harshly. In fact I would to stake it myself. A lynching would be nice. So I wouldn't have to hate it. I hope. I hope your happy. Because someone around here has to be.
Because if I didn't have fun and take a chance, I wouldn't have picked up the cold. And picking up the cold caused to get a shot which caused you, the fester.
Yes, this does relate to me. Its what has been happening in the last couple months and this is it as a metaphor. I am falling again, sadly. And again you won't notice. Because thats who you are. And I am not jealous, just pissed that you could replace me so quickly. You don't really have an idenity, do you? No. No. You don't. You copy. When you liked him, you liked The Doors. When started to like him, you started to listen to Green Day more, and then you started to become more into Star Wars than you already were. Maybe I am not liked by the guy I like because I don't change myself... But, I am not that in love to lose myself yet... Maybe you shouldn't be either... Again, I feel like falling. And maybe I am losing my grip with the greater urge to cry. I feel like I am ignored along with everyone else by you. I hope you see what you have done. Slowly your losing Csensich, Kelly, and Hervas. And maybe even me. I have told you before, and I am not willing to tell you anymore. I guess you could call this your last shot to hear out from me and actually pay attention. God knows you haven't before. Kelly is still quiet at lunch. Csensich is at the other table. Hervas is distances away. Remember when we all laughed. I dun anymore. When we all did. Together. I think I am sitting with Hervas tomorrow. Because Csensich, Kelly , and Hervas are the only ones who ask whats wrong anymore...
I wanna yell, scream at you all what you have been doing. That your losing your original friends. But, I don't want to keep you down and make you sad that you've made sad. I hate how you change with every new friend to keep them around. I hate how sometimes people sit between us. I hate everything about our lunch table. I hate how Kelly tries so hard to be included. How I ignore it and say its a phase. How you don't talk to me anymore unless I practically sit on you, and you don't even then like today. I hate it and I hope it dies. Dies so hard. So quickly. So fast. So harshly. In fact I would to stake it myself. A lynching would be nice. So I wouldn't have to hate it. I hope. I hope your happy. Because someone around here has to be.