(no subject)
Ahhh. I am so confused, and I guess a little proud. I got an 90 A on my first Freshman Comp II paper. The one I put off until about an hour and a half before class, ran out of time trying to finish, wrapped up in a sloppy way with some philosophical and, let's be truthful, bullshit thoughts, and pinned together with a safety pin because I could not find the stapler. It was an 800 word assignment, if I remember correctly, and I only handed in about 600. I had some good thoughts in the beginning, but the stress got to me and it fell apart at the end. I don't even remember what I wrote! I just knew I needed to hand something in so that I didn't set up my reputation as "the girl who's pretty smart and knows what she's talking about but is incredibly lazy and doesn't hand in her work" like I've done so many times in the past.
My professor was explaining the grading system before he handed back the essays. He was saying that if you got a B- 80, it meant that it was a C to F paper, but he was being lenient and giving us a good grade to start off the semester with. I was convinced that I was going to be one of those people. I was so incredibly convinced that I felt my heart leap when I saw my A. What's even worse is that when someone asked if there had been any As in the class, my professor said that there had been AN A, implying ONLY ONE A. I don't know if my 90 A was the A that he was referring to, but it probably is and I feel terrible. He wrote at the end of my paper: "This is wonderful! Amazingly wise and well written, but it needs development."
I know that I do good work. I do think a lot about what I'm going to write quite extensively beforehand. I understand what I read on a level that may be unparalleled in my class, and I think my teacher knows it. That may be why I got that A. I attribute my level of comprehension to the fact that I love making characters and fitting them together in stories, although I never write. In my head I give them flaws, backstories, and plan out how situations affect them and how they work through it. I also understand a great deal about the human condition and the evils of the world, though I don't like to think about it, because I am an artist. You can't just paint pretty pictures to be a successful artist. You need to create work that means something, or has a social commentary. You need to tell a story without words, to put forth a message using only visual cues. Although it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn here, I'm just trying to help myself understand why I am the way I am.
Maybe that's why I did well on my paper. Although I'm sort of ashamed of its poor quality compared to what I can do, it does show that I think about what I read, and that I can see between the lines. Next time I'll try harder. I'll show my professor that this is definitely not A material, and I'm just getting started.
My professor was explaining the grading system before he handed back the essays. He was saying that if you got a B- 80, it meant that it was a C to F paper, but he was being lenient and giving us a good grade to start off the semester with. I was convinced that I was going to be one of those people. I was so incredibly convinced that I felt my heart leap when I saw my A. What's even worse is that when someone asked if there had been any As in the class, my professor said that there had been AN A, implying ONLY ONE A. I don't know if my 90 A was the A that he was referring to, but it probably is and I feel terrible. He wrote at the end of my paper: "This is wonderful! Amazingly wise and well written, but it needs development."
I know that I do good work. I do think a lot about what I'm going to write quite extensively beforehand. I understand what I read on a level that may be unparalleled in my class, and I think my teacher knows it. That may be why I got that A. I attribute my level of comprehension to the fact that I love making characters and fitting them together in stories, although I never write. In my head I give them flaws, backstories, and plan out how situations affect them and how they work through it. I also understand a great deal about the human condition and the evils of the world, though I don't like to think about it, because I am an artist. You can't just paint pretty pictures to be a successful artist. You need to create work that means something, or has a social commentary. You need to tell a story without words, to put forth a message using only visual cues. Although it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn here, I'm just trying to help myself understand why I am the way I am.
Maybe that's why I did well on my paper. Although I'm sort of ashamed of its poor quality compared to what I can do, it does show that I think about what I read, and that I can see between the lines. Next time I'll try harder. I'll show my professor that this is definitely not A material, and I'm just getting started.