sympathy ahead.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov
If you know me, and you've been paying any attention to Hollywood this week, then you know what this is about. I mean, it's kind of obvious if you look at my layout, my profile page, my tumblr…and my twitter up until yesterday morning.
The last thing I ever thought would happen…did. And I've been so confused. I've barely had an appetite (but I've been eating, don't worry-I'm not about to make myself sick like that). I barely slept Tuesday night into Wednesday. Class yesterday was a bit of a blur. I slept much better last night.
My feelings about them? Not that different, considering events. I'm still not convinced we have a fully accurate story (considering the story from the source of the pics I've seen-US Weekly). Yeah, she fucked up, that's obvious. Some people think she did so on purpose. I'm not one of those people. I mean, the girl leads a pretty insane life, if you think about it. And when you're constantly under the pressures that she's been under, I can only imagine what that does to a person. So I've got to think that she really just wasn't thinking. Maybe she couldn't. I don't know. Nobody does but her and maybe the person she hurt most, if she's had a chance to even try to explain. I hope she has…but if she hasn't, I hope she does. I'd think as much as they've been through, he'd ask her that eventually anyway…although if anyone could even begin to understand the stress she has, it'd be him. Her public statement wasn't what I expected from her, either. But in this case, that's a good thing. Her statement was heartfelt and pretty much had nothing to do with her except the acknowledgement that she knows she royally screwed up and knows she hurt the most important person in her life. And she loves him. I can't tell you all how often I've wanted to hear that over the past few years, and how much I wish it hadn't taken this for it to be said. I'm more disappointed in her than anything else, but I truly do think she knows what happened was wrong and that she deeply regrets it.
One thing I've raged over more than anything else the past couple of days is the other party. The fucking scumbag director whose name I refuse to use anymore barring RTs of other people who have already taken the time to type it out (congratulations, I'm glad you can still stand to do that), who's almost TWICE her age. Anyone who says that his position and age didn't have anything to do with it is ignoring a lot, IMO. I'm not trying to take all the blame away from her, but he's the older one, the married one, the father of two. I mean, yeah…she knew all that. His wife even played her mother. But he's the one that had made the vows to his wife, and ultimately he's the one that broke them. And since I commented on her statement above…his statement sounded like the most pretentious, fucking unsincere thing ever, if I may be so blunt. I also don't think this is the first time he's been unfaithful (for multiple reasons). Take from that what you will. (I'm getting more riled up at him, by the way…Twitter people who are also fans may understand, if you're on right now and follow the right people. IDK.)
I don't know what will happen. Obviously, I'd love for everything to go back to the way it was, and for two of the people I've admired most in the world (outside of people IRL) to still be happy together and for this to have never happened. But it did. And there's no going back, only the chance to move forward. I can only hope that moving on is an option, hopefully together. I'm rather optimistic about this, for someone who has thankfully never been in a situation of infidelity-which I personally don't condone…but as I've never been in the situation, I can't say how I'd really react either way. I hope I never have to find out.
I've also got thoughts about movies. First, the tainted one. Might as well get it over with-I've gone back and forth on whether or not I still want the DVD/Blu-ray. If I ignore who the director is, the answer is a resounding yes. I'll just never be able to watch the special features (maybe deleted scenes if there's no director intro), which kinda sucks because those are usually some of my favorite things. Then again, I watched so much BTS stuff before it came out that there's probably not much that's new. And I'll never listen to that commentary. Ever. The other thing: sequel. I never really wanted one. My opinion after the midnight show was that it was unnecessary, that it's unneeded. But I also said I'd support it, for her. TBH, I would still support it for her. As long as there's a different director. I can't see them going forward with it and having both of them-it'll either be him or her, and I think it would be much easier for them to replace him than her. But really what I'd prefer is for the sequel to be scratched altogether, because it'll always be tainted.
Then you've got November. Oh, November…I'm sure I'll be excited for you again by the time you get here. Anyway. I'm already sure of this: security for premieres and any fan events will be heavier than ever. (It was bad enough in London last year, tbh.) I also won't be surprised if bodyguards are more numerous for both of them. Above all else, I have no doubt that regardless of what happens between now and then for them personally, they will both be professional.
To end: I refuse to give up on anyone that I was already a fan of before this. This probably explains why I've not taken down any of the posters in my room-even the one that hurts the most because I remember being so excited and now it's kinda tainted, tbh. Maybe it's because Director Douchebag isn't on the poster. The other four…probably hurt worse to look at. The magazine clippings on my bulletin board are still there. I even actually looked at them directly earlier-and seeing both their faces, together, actually helped my optimism. (It doesn't hurt that the pics aren't from the past month-and especially the past week, because right now those are the ones that hurt the worst to look at.) I have to have faith that in time, things will be okay. Time. Never has a four letter world held so much emotional weight for me. But if he needs it, I have faith that she'll give it to him. And that time will help them.
If you know me, and you've been paying any attention to Hollywood this week, then you know what this is about. I mean, it's kind of obvious if you look at my layout, my profile page, my tumblr…and my twitter up until yesterday morning.
The last thing I ever thought would happen…did. And I've been so confused. I've barely had an appetite (but I've been eating, don't worry-I'm not about to make myself sick like that). I barely slept Tuesday night into Wednesday. Class yesterday was a bit of a blur. I slept much better last night.
My feelings about them? Not that different, considering events. I'm still not convinced we have a fully accurate story (considering the story from the source of the pics I've seen-US Weekly). Yeah, she fucked up, that's obvious. Some people think she did so on purpose. I'm not one of those people. I mean, the girl leads a pretty insane life, if you think about it. And when you're constantly under the pressures that she's been under, I can only imagine what that does to a person. So I've got to think that she really just wasn't thinking. Maybe she couldn't. I don't know. Nobody does but her and maybe the person she hurt most, if she's had a chance to even try to explain. I hope she has…but if she hasn't, I hope she does. I'd think as much as they've been through, he'd ask her that eventually anyway…although if anyone could even begin to understand the stress she has, it'd be him. Her public statement wasn't what I expected from her, either. But in this case, that's a good thing. Her statement was heartfelt and pretty much had nothing to do with her except the acknowledgement that she knows she royally screwed up and knows she hurt the most important person in her life. And she loves him. I can't tell you all how often I've wanted to hear that over the past few years, and how much I wish it hadn't taken this for it to be said. I'm more disappointed in her than anything else, but I truly do think she knows what happened was wrong and that she deeply regrets it.
One thing I've raged over more than anything else the past couple of days is the other party. The fucking scumbag director whose name I refuse to use anymore barring RTs of other people who have already taken the time to type it out (congratulations, I'm glad you can still stand to do that), who's almost TWICE her age. Anyone who says that his position and age didn't have anything to do with it is ignoring a lot, IMO. I'm not trying to take all the blame away from her, but he's the older one, the married one, the father of two. I mean, yeah…she knew all that. His wife even played her mother. But he's the one that had made the vows to his wife, and ultimately he's the one that broke them. And since I commented on her statement above…his statement sounded like the most pretentious, fucking unsincere thing ever, if I may be so blunt. I also don't think this is the first time he's been unfaithful (for multiple reasons). Take from that what you will. (I'm getting more riled up at him, by the way…Twitter people who are also fans may understand, if you're on right now and follow the right people. IDK.)
I don't know what will happen. Obviously, I'd love for everything to go back to the way it was, and for two of the people I've admired most in the world (outside of people IRL) to still be happy together and for this to have never happened. But it did. And there's no going back, only the chance to move forward. I can only hope that moving on is an option, hopefully together. I'm rather optimistic about this, for someone who has thankfully never been in a situation of infidelity-which I personally don't condone…but as I've never been in the situation, I can't say how I'd really react either way. I hope I never have to find out.
I've also got thoughts about movies. First, the tainted one. Might as well get it over with-I've gone back and forth on whether or not I still want the DVD/Blu-ray. If I ignore who the director is, the answer is a resounding yes. I'll just never be able to watch the special features (maybe deleted scenes if there's no director intro), which kinda sucks because those are usually some of my favorite things. Then again, I watched so much BTS stuff before it came out that there's probably not much that's new. And I'll never listen to that commentary. Ever. The other thing: sequel. I never really wanted one. My opinion after the midnight show was that it was unnecessary, that it's unneeded. But I also said I'd support it, for her. TBH, I would still support it for her. As long as there's a different director. I can't see them going forward with it and having both of them-it'll either be him or her, and I think it would be much easier for them to replace him than her. But really what I'd prefer is for the sequel to be scratched altogether, because it'll always be tainted.
Then you've got November. Oh, November…I'm sure I'll be excited for you again by the time you get here. Anyway. I'm already sure of this: security for premieres and any fan events will be heavier than ever. (It was bad enough in London last year, tbh.) I also won't be surprised if bodyguards are more numerous for both of them. Above all else, I have no doubt that regardless of what happens between now and then for them personally, they will both be professional.
To end: I refuse to give up on anyone that I was already a fan of before this. This probably explains why I've not taken down any of the posters in my room-even the one that hurts the most because I remember being so excited and now it's kinda tainted, tbh. Maybe it's because Director Douchebag isn't on the poster. The other four…probably hurt worse to look at. The magazine clippings on my bulletin board are still there. I even actually looked at them directly earlier-and seeing both their faces, together, actually helped my optimism. (It doesn't hurt that the pics aren't from the past month-and especially the past week, because right now those are the ones that hurt the worst to look at.) I have to have faith that in time, things will be okay. Time. Never has a four letter world held so much emotional weight for me. But if he needs it, I have faith that she'll give it to him. And that time will help them.