Major Epiphany
Ok, I can't embellish on this right now because I'm in the middle of studying. But I just realized something.
In the years following Dad's death, I became overwrought with self-importance. I believed everything I said and did had a much larger effect on things than it actually did. When I realized how unhealthy it was to live only for other people, I discarded that notion.
Consequently, I began to believe that my words and actions had NO effect at all. That regardless of what I said and did, people couldn't and shouldn't be affected by it. That my absence from their lives would not affect them at all. I stopped caring about what I said or did (to some degree).
I realize now that this isn't right either. The truth is that I DO have an effect on other people, as they have an effect on me. A friend, to me, was someone that changes you for the better. I continued to make friends, all of which changed me for the better. I know now that it goes both ways. For every capacity my friends have to make me a better person, so do I have the capacity to make them a better person.
I have to take what I do and say seriously, because, at least to the people who call me a friend, my actions and words DO have an effect on them. Its only conceited of me to think that my effect changes their life dramatically in every case.
The moral? I know I have to do right not only by myself but by my friends. I have to know that if I expect my friends to do right by me, I must do right by them. That by doing right, I am helping them change for the better, as they are me.
The resolution? Start taking myself more seriously. Not as serious as I was before (I'd rather not revert to the hyper-active hugger I was), but more serious than I have been.
And I know I'll be happier that way. Which has always been the goal, right?
;D
To Happiness,
Luke
P.S. - Is this what they call growing up? Sheesh. It is definitely not as simple as just surviving to the next birthday.
In the years following Dad's death, I became overwrought with self-importance. I believed everything I said and did had a much larger effect on things than it actually did. When I realized how unhealthy it was to live only for other people, I discarded that notion.
Consequently, I began to believe that my words and actions had NO effect at all. That regardless of what I said and did, people couldn't and shouldn't be affected by it. That my absence from their lives would not affect them at all. I stopped caring about what I said or did (to some degree).
I realize now that this isn't right either. The truth is that I DO have an effect on other people, as they have an effect on me. A friend, to me, was someone that changes you for the better. I continued to make friends, all of which changed me for the better. I know now that it goes both ways. For every capacity my friends have to make me a better person, so do I have the capacity to make them a better person.
I have to take what I do and say seriously, because, at least to the people who call me a friend, my actions and words DO have an effect on them. Its only conceited of me to think that my effect changes their life dramatically in every case.
The moral? I know I have to do right not only by myself but by my friends. I have to know that if I expect my friends to do right by me, I must do right by them. That by doing right, I am helping them change for the better, as they are me.
The resolution? Start taking myself more seriously. Not as serious as I was before (I'd rather not revert to the hyper-active hugger I was), but more serious than I have been.
And I know I'll be happier that way. Which has always been the goal, right?
;D
To Happiness,
Luke
P.S. - Is this what they call growing up? Sheesh. It is definitely not as simple as just surviving to the next birthday.