The state of the infiniteaaah
Today is rather unpleasant.
I'm going to pick up from where I left off. First, the season finale of 'Queer as Folk' wasn't very good. It was way cheesey. And there was nothing about the episode that makes me feel like I can't wait until next season. Granted, they left a couple loose ends, but whatever. I don't care. So huge disappointments in the way of QAF.
Next on the agenda: my physical state. It seems like all I do lately is wage battle after battle against my uncooperative body. First it's asthma, then allergies, then anxiety, then high blood pressure, then obesity, then lack of athleticism, then more allergies, then backaches, then feminine problems, then dandruff, then eczema or psoriasis or whatever the fuck I have, then wisdom teeth, then hives. And that's where I am today: itchy, swollen, groggy from benedryl that I took last night, and uncomfortable. And my back hurts like a bitch. I'm seeing multiple doctors, and have promised to make appointments to meet with two more (we'll see how soon that happens). I know that I'm lucky. These are all superficial problems. But jeesh, I'm so tired of my body hating me.
On a personal/emotional/mental front, I've been trying to play the big bad bitch this week, and it's not really working out so well. Yes, folks, the Lauren saga continues. I have finally removed her and all of her clan from my friends page. It only seems natural, as I have obviously been 'unadopted.' Some of them still linger on my 'friend of' list... and I'm not going to pretend I don't like that. But, I figure, the cleaner the break, the better. I've been very quiet about the whole situation lately (except when I'm pretending to be aggressive), even at home. It's a lot to think about, and even more to feel. Intensity has been replaced with overwhelmed confusion and conflicted thoughts. It's more like walking around in a cloud, dazed and staring, whereas before, it was lying on the floor reaching out, gasping for oxygen. I just wish I had been wise enough to listen to all of the people along the way who tried to warn me-- and there were plenty. Surprise is certainly not an emotion I should be allowed.
Other than that, I'm okay. I'm really nervous about getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday. I'm really excited about Christine and Lorele moving to Boston in September (yay! New people to play with!) And I itch. Oh my god, I itch.... did I mention that? I wish I knew what I was allergic to (probably the mildew that grew on our wet swimming clothes because we didn't hang them up).
Work has been mostly boring lately. Today I have things to do, but they, too, are boring. So I'm avoiding them while Rom is at lunch.
Okay, I need to go figure out a way to jump out of my skin..... *frustrated primal scream*
I'm going to pick up from where I left off. First, the season finale of 'Queer as Folk' wasn't very good. It was way cheesey. And there was nothing about the episode that makes me feel like I can't wait until next season. Granted, they left a couple loose ends, but whatever. I don't care. So huge disappointments in the way of QAF.
Next on the agenda: my physical state. It seems like all I do lately is wage battle after battle against my uncooperative body. First it's asthma, then allergies, then anxiety, then high blood pressure, then obesity, then lack of athleticism, then more allergies, then backaches, then feminine problems, then dandruff, then eczema or psoriasis or whatever the fuck I have, then wisdom teeth, then hives. And that's where I am today: itchy, swollen, groggy from benedryl that I took last night, and uncomfortable. And my back hurts like a bitch. I'm seeing multiple doctors, and have promised to make appointments to meet with two more (we'll see how soon that happens). I know that I'm lucky. These are all superficial problems. But jeesh, I'm so tired of my body hating me.
On a personal/emotional/mental front, I've been trying to play the big bad bitch this week, and it's not really working out so well. Yes, folks, the Lauren saga continues. I have finally removed her and all of her clan from my friends page. It only seems natural, as I have obviously been 'unadopted.' Some of them still linger on my 'friend of' list... and I'm not going to pretend I don't like that. But, I figure, the cleaner the break, the better. I've been very quiet about the whole situation lately (except when I'm pretending to be aggressive), even at home. It's a lot to think about, and even more to feel. Intensity has been replaced with overwhelmed confusion and conflicted thoughts. It's more like walking around in a cloud, dazed and staring, whereas before, it was lying on the floor reaching out, gasping for oxygen. I just wish I had been wise enough to listen to all of the people along the way who tried to warn me-- and there were plenty. Surprise is certainly not an emotion I should be allowed.
Other than that, I'm okay. I'm really nervous about getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday. I'm really excited about Christine and Lorele moving to Boston in September (yay! New people to play with!) And I itch. Oh my god, I itch.... did I mention that? I wish I knew what I was allergic to (probably the mildew that grew on our wet swimming clothes because we didn't hang them up).
Work has been mostly boring lately. Today I have things to do, but they, too, are boring. So I'm avoiding them while Rom is at lunch.
Okay, I need to go figure out a way to jump out of my skin..... *frustrated primal scream*