My Heart Should Be An Empty Room.
I talked to her. I actually got to be alone with her this time. This was after English. my paper got graded, and it's basically a C+ since I didn't follow the guidelines. You know what? I'm very happy with my grade. I'm proud of myself.
Anyway, yeah, I talked to her. she really is very pretty. I'm starting to see her as a completely different person. For the record, her name is Hanna, not Shana or Lana. hehe.. but I was alone with her today, in the same place I met her. Sean went off to cheat on his girlfriend with Candice (Hanna's friend) and Candice's brother up and left, while Jessica (another friend of Candice and Hanna) went to get shoes from her car. I was sitting there talking to her, gazing again. "very pretty" is simply a modest way of putting it. she's surreal. I could place her in the sky and call her stellar. We almost got into talking about why I'm so sad today (Hint: It involves a girl I met), but I couldn't say. I don't want to creep her out. I want to be her friend. maybe more. I don't know. I wish I could just show her my essay, so she could read it and tell me what she thinks. But I can't do that. I wish I knew what to do. Honestly, even if she didn't look familiar to me, she'd still be attractive (I'm attracted to girls with a petite physique). But I don't know if I like her just because she's familiar, or if there's more to it. maybe it's both.
She's actually very nice to talk to. I only realized that today. She's really sweet to me. I think she likes me too. I could tell by the way she looked at me, and how she was very warm and charming. and not in the way that most people are when they're nice. I could tell by the way she hugged me before I had to leave for Astronomy. she even gave me her phone number (yay!).
And you know what? I like her too. I guess I should let her know that I'm nothing like Sean (he can be a real dickhead). I just need to figure out how to explain all this to myself.
I must be a strange one...