Oct 30, 2006 05:50
this weekend was shitty. no question about it. I didn't have anything to do, and nowhere to go, so I pretty much just sat at home and did nothing. well, I fixed the vacuum cleaner and cleaned house, but nothing spectacular happened. I don't expect anything spectacular to happen tomorrow for Halloween either. same thing, probably.
I got in trouble on Sunday. my dad caught me on the computer when I was playing Oblivion. my excuse: I have nothing else to do. and I really didn't. he did the usual yelling and all that, and eventually forced me to unplug it. it's starting to piss me off how he treats me like I'm still a child. I mean, I just turned 18.
it's beginning to dawn on me that my father is honestly not in his right mind. he's 52 yet he has the mentality of a 12 or 13 year old. he's always telling me that "he doesn't want to have to do this to me", but I think he does. I don't think he really has control of his own life; I kind of feel a slight amount of pity for him about that. Still, it doesn't mean he needs to take it out on me: he's trapped in a dead-end job, a crappy marriage (I honestly think my parents got married cause my mom got knocked up), and the one dream he has is slowly dying in a fashion usually reminiscient of a debilating illness in the elderly.
I know there's something mentally wrong with him and I can see it in his movements. he's so violent and short tempered and prone to yelling about everything... I'm not a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or anything close, but I know why he's like what he is.
He has no control over his life. I don't even need to "step into his shoes" to realize that. it's so easy to see in him. And when you have no control in your own life, what better way to assert some amount of control and dominance than to control someone else? That's how I believe he sees it.
I think my brother is possibly the only normal person in my family. My Dad has a violently borderline personality, my mom has an anger management problem (and something else I just can't locate), and me? well, I'm as far from normal as I am from the Sun. I wonder how he can stand living here...
anyway, that's my rant on life.
oh, and I also got my present from Megan Harris. very cute: a plushie puppy and 2 lollipops. as it stands, that's the only present I've gotten. that's okay, though...
birthday,
family,
weekend,
life