Intermission! (Wow, what a long intermission...)
I am normally anti-meme, but this one was a bit of a creative writing exercise, and I couldn't resist. Instead of using real people, it's a meme about characters I've created over the years, what they are like, how they would interact, and for some reason, their attitudes toward the scallion pancake (I didn't write the questions, just the answers). Cut for sanity.
List 12 of your original characters:
1.) Tea Time Teddy
2.) Heyu
3.) Anne II
4.) Mr. XyzyX
5.) Quetzacoatalian Marbadan
6.) Whale-in-a-Boat
7.) Al
8.) Ankta
9.) Unlucky Gambling Snake
10.) Karen
11.) Durk Feerur
12.) Perforat
01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11?
What a coincidence, WIAB is already a successful college professor! Durk wouldn't be such a bad teacher, and no one would dare talk back to him, but he just doesn't belong anywhere near a college. More like, an isolated rural setting or a graveyard.
02) Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
Heyu is male, so I can't judge. Mentally, however, I would vouch for his unmatched mental hotness, even though it stems from being calm and cool. "Enlightened" might be the best word.
03) 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Perf would want something evil destroyed, either the undead or someone using Black magic. Ankta would be able to do it, being from the same world. The trick would be getting her to obey the simple-minded order of someone who died 1,000 years ago (but oddly enough, Perf's death would not stop him from giving the order).
04) What is or would be 9's favorite book?
Assuming UGS can read (stupid snake), the title would be something like, "Gambling Your Way to Success: Secrets of the Pros"
05) Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
Both characters act freely, I can't imagine much fealty-swearing. Best guess, Heyu and WIAB would be more democratic or collaborative. Forced to answer one or the other... Heyu will continue to obey his own instincts, WIAB is more likely to swear fealty.
06) For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should s/he share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
QM (male) would be painfully awkward around Karen, but Karen is easy to get along with. UGS would simply gamble away his half of the rent money. To be fair, QM would be awkward around most of the list.
07) 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
Heyu is calm and silent as usual, but that's okay because Heyu and Al are best (and only) friends with each other. I don't know what Al and Perf would discuss, Al would be all like, "Science!" and Perf would be all like, "Honor! Justice! Swords!" Maybe Al would design stronger, more lightweight armor for Perf.
08) 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
Ooh, fire versus ice, war versus peace. Anne and Karen get along well, so they'd set up ground rules and take turns, both to be friendly and for training purposes. Anne would win any physical fight, and Karen would win a duel with magic. If both are in play, it would depend on whether Anne could get to Karen fast enough, it would be roughly even odds on who won. Hopefully, they would never get into a real fight, because they would neutralize each other, both would die, and a giant rodent would destroy the world. We don't want that to happen.
09) If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
Ankta would ask her fine feathered friends to swoop into TTT's headquarters and steal it back, unless of course it was too dangerous. Technically speaking, however, Ankta doesn't really have any possessions, they belong to nature.
10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
As demonstrated above, it would be tough. Maybe a play on medal / metal / mettle where they both get awards at the end of a long career. Al gets a Nobel Prize, and Perf gets the highest recognition possible from the queen for his service as a knight. I think the stories could parallel each other, but they would not be the same story.
11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
They're both evil and fond of business, so XyzyX would simply have to start some kind of interdimensional business venture, and it would have to be worth it (in terms of money and power) to both XyzyX and TTT to partner up.
12) If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
A little awkward at first (neither Al nor I are naturally sociable), but we'd probably play some video games or talk about science and it would go more smoothly from there.
13) If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
I would simply say, come visit sometime, but I would know better than to give Anne a command. Polite asking only!
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Ummm... wisedanichi?
15) If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
XyzyX insists on being Heyu's nemesis, so it would be Heyu with QM hands down. Heyu and QM could be part of a team of super best friends!
16) What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
I thought she was supposed to be the peaceful one! Karen would probably be telling her opponent to stand down, making a last-ditch effort to avoid conflict.
17) If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
For Ankta? Something simple, rhythmic. As long as it's not one of those "Sounds of Nature" CDs, or that Enya song where everything goes backwards. Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" wouldn't quite work, but when she's in wolf form, it would still be fun to play it.
18) 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
I don't know what Perf is doing with TTT and WIAB, but he would have enough asceticism in his nature to forfeit the pancake. Ultimately TTT would lie, cheat, and steal just to get the pancake. I don't know how WIAB reaches for anything in the first place, that's part of the mystery of the whale-in-a-boat.
19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Heyu would not need words, which is good because he doesn't ever use them. He would probably just say, "Hello" (you can quote Jerry Maguire here if you absolutely must). Karen would match up well with Heyu's calm, conflict-free mode of being. It's shocking how good this match is for being picked out at random, I was half expecting Perf to get matched up with one of the cartoon characters.
20) What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Failing to submit a flight plan, after QM accidentally launches himself thousands of feet into the air. It would be bittersweet, because he would also learn that he can fly.
21) What is 6's secret?
The classic Achilles heel of the liberal elite: hypocrisy. That, and the inability to resist the allure of fancy wines and cheeses.
22) If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
This is not even close to fair. Durk can use the void to teleport anywhere at near-instantaneous speed. Even if Durk couldn't use magic and chose to walk, UGS is slow and has that thing on his tail that makes him even slower. UGS would probably just give up and go to a casino and lose all of his money. Stupid snake.
23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Al would have some useful gadget, like a cloaking device, and we wouldn't be noticed. Ankta, on the other hand, is physically stronger, knows lots of magic, and has her wolf form. I'd say that when it comes to feeling safe, Ankta wins.
Trying to combine Never Make Bets characters (drawn) with Candles and Deserted nearly broke my sanity, but I'm okay with that.
List 12 of your original characters:
1.) Tea Time Teddy
2.) Heyu
3.) Anne II
4.) Mr. XyzyX
5.) Quetzacoatalian Marbadan
6.) Whale-in-a-Boat
7.) Al
8.) Ankta
9.) Unlucky Gambling Snake
10.) Karen
11.) Durk Feerur
12.) Perforat
01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11?
What a coincidence, WIAB is already a successful college professor! Durk wouldn't be such a bad teacher, and no one would dare talk back to him, but he just doesn't belong anywhere near a college. More like, an isolated rural setting or a graveyard.
02) Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?
Heyu is male, so I can't judge. Mentally, however, I would vouch for his unmatched mental hotness, even though it stems from being calm and cool. "Enlightened" might be the best word.
03) 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Perf would want something evil destroyed, either the undead or someone using Black magic. Ankta would be able to do it, being from the same world. The trick would be getting her to obey the simple-minded order of someone who died 1,000 years ago (but oddly enough, Perf's death would not stop him from giving the order).
04) What is or would be 9's favorite book?
Assuming UGS can read (stupid snake), the title would be something like, "Gambling Your Way to Success: Secrets of the Pros"
05) Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
Both characters act freely, I can't imagine much fealty-swearing. Best guess, Heyu and WIAB would be more democratic or collaborative. Forced to answer one or the other... Heyu will continue to obey his own instincts, WIAB is more likely to swear fealty.
06) For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should s/he share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
QM (male) would be painfully awkward around Karen, but Karen is easy to get along with. UGS would simply gamble away his half of the rent money. To be fair, QM would be awkward around most of the list.
07) 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
Heyu is calm and silent as usual, but that's okay because Heyu and Al are best (and only) friends with each other. I don't know what Al and Perf would discuss, Al would be all like, "Science!" and Perf would be all like, "Honor! Justice! Swords!" Maybe Al would design stronger, more lightweight armor for Perf.
08) 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
Ooh, fire versus ice, war versus peace. Anne and Karen get along well, so they'd set up ground rules and take turns, both to be friendly and for training purposes. Anne would win any physical fight, and Karen would win a duel with magic. If both are in play, it would depend on whether Anne could get to Karen fast enough, it would be roughly even odds on who won. Hopefully, they would never get into a real fight, because they would neutralize each other, both would die, and a giant rodent would destroy the world. We don't want that to happen.
09) If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?
Ankta would ask her fine feathered friends to swoop into TTT's headquarters and steal it back, unless of course it was too dangerous. Technically speaking, however, Ankta doesn't really have any possessions, they belong to nature.
10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
As demonstrated above, it would be tough. Maybe a play on medal / metal / mettle where they both get awards at the end of a long career. Al gets a Nobel Prize, and Perf gets the highest recognition possible from the queen for his service as a knight. I think the stories could parallel each other, but they would not be the same story.
11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
They're both evil and fond of business, so XyzyX would simply have to start some kind of interdimensional business venture, and it would have to be worth it (in terms of money and power) to both XyzyX and TTT to partner up.
12) If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
A little awkward at first (neither Al nor I are naturally sociable), but we'd probably play some video games or talk about science and it would go more smoothly from there.
13) If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
I would simply say, come visit sometime, but I would know better than to give Anne a command. Polite asking only!
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Ummm... wisedanichi?
15) If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
XyzyX insists on being Heyu's nemesis, so it would be Heyu with QM hands down. Heyu and QM could be part of a team of super best friends!
16) What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
I thought she was supposed to be the peaceful one! Karen would probably be telling her opponent to stand down, making a last-ditch effort to avoid conflict.
17) If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
For Ankta? Something simple, rhythmic. As long as it's not one of those "Sounds of Nature" CDs, or that Enya song where everything goes backwards. Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" wouldn't quite work, but when she's in wolf form, it would still be fun to play it.
18) 1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
I don't know what Perf is doing with TTT and WIAB, but he would have enough asceticism in his nature to forfeit the pancake. Ultimately TTT would lie, cheat, and steal just to get the pancake. I don't know how WIAB reaches for anything in the first place, that's part of the mystery of the whale-in-a-boat.
19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Heyu would not need words, which is good because he doesn't ever use them. He would probably just say, "Hello" (you can quote Jerry Maguire here if you absolutely must). Karen would match up well with Heyu's calm, conflict-free mode of being. It's shocking how good this match is for being picked out at random, I was half expecting Perf to get matched up with one of the cartoon characters.
20) What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Failing to submit a flight plan, after QM accidentally launches himself thousands of feet into the air. It would be bittersweet, because he would also learn that he can fly.
21) What is 6's secret?
The classic Achilles heel of the liberal elite: hypocrisy. That, and the inability to resist the allure of fancy wines and cheeses.
22) If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
This is not even close to fair. Durk can use the void to teleport anywhere at near-instantaneous speed. Even if Durk couldn't use magic and chose to walk, UGS is slow and has that thing on his tail that makes him even slower. UGS would probably just give up and go to a casino and lose all of his money. Stupid snake.
23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
Al would have some useful gadget, like a cloaking device, and we wouldn't be noticed. Ankta, on the other hand, is physically stronger, knows lots of magic, and has her wolf form. I'd say that when it comes to feeling safe, Ankta wins.
Trying to combine Never Make Bets characters (drawn) with Candles and Deserted nearly broke my sanity, but I'm okay with that.