Moments of clarity
In the past 4 months I have done many things, and yet I feel like they have been a blur. Normally when I am referring to days blurring together, I feel like I'm talking about so many good things happening that I forget the bad, but lately I feel as if the inverse might be true.
In May I came to Indianapolis with the intention of becoming the General Manager of the Broad Ripple Hot Box Pizza location. When I moved down here, I stayed with my girl friend at the time, Maggie, and her Mom and brother, with the intention of moving into a place of my own when I found one. The summer was spent training at the store with the current GM in order to better acclimate myself with the differences between the new store and my old store. I was also training to learn the responsibilities of the General Manager. In August I took over and the previous GM stepped down.
Recently, I have come to learn a few things about myself that make me question how much longer I want to work for Hot Box Pizza. Don't get me wrong, I like the company as a whole, but in my current position I question my desire to perform at the level required. Two weeks ago my boss, Gabe, sat down with me and told me that he was not pleased with my performance and that he was worried that my attitude was to blame. I will admit that the things he mentioned were definitely occurring and that my attitude was to blame, but until the past few days I had no idea why my attitude was as it is. I have been snappy with both employees and customers, I haven't been getting all of my work completed, and I've been showing up late to work. Most of all I've been completely unmotivated.
In my reflection and discussions with many family members I have come to determine the things I dislike about my job and why they do not fit into my frame of mind lately.
1. Order. My job lacks order. As a whole, the company of Hot Box Pizza, does not have any sort of method or direction. Since its inception, this company has barely stayed afloat by shear luck and will power of who knows what, but it does not have proper order. There are people attempting to change this, both at store and company levels, but as it is currently there is no real sense of structure or order.
2. Hours. I believe that the amount of time my job requires me to put in is not reasonable for the amount of money I currently making. If I was asked to merely run my store, I believe it would be a fair amount of money. However I am required to both fix and repair the entire store, from top to bottom facility wise, and then also fix and repair staff issues, help with training of franchisees and standardize the company for franchising, I feel I am making no where near what I deserve. If I compare my position to that of any entry level position I could have using the college degree I possess, I am making much less with more responsibility. If I compare my current position to that of an average delivery driver, I am making comparable rates for much more responsibility.
On top of the amount of work required, I work at night which sucks, and keeps me from having any sort of social life. I don't get time off often, or enough that I can enjoy it without someone calling me and interrupting my plans.
3. Responsibility vs. Money. When I started working for Hot Box/Pizza Express I loved my job. I had no responsibility more than just showing up to work on time, doing my job, and getting out. I picked up shifts for people because I enjoy money, and I delivered pizzas and did a damned good job at it, case closed, no questions about it. In May of 06 I came down to Broad Ripple to help out 3 days a week because they needed help and the Lafayette store was slow as balls in the summer. I worked 12 hour shifts 3 days a week, and worked in store the whole time. I eventually ran some shifts, didn't hate it because I wasn't in charge, but didn't really like it because it lacked the money of driving. In August I returned to Lafayette and started delivering again until December when the assistant manager walked out on the store. I stepped up, opened the store back up, ran shift and helped until the GM got back from his honey moon. At this point I should have chose to go back to being a driver, but instead I decided to take a pay increase from 6.50 an hour to 7.25 an hour to become a shift manager. I say pay increase, but over all I lost money on that deal. I eventually worked my way up to Assistant Manager, and made 9.25 an hour. When I moved down to Indy, I got bumped up to 9.50 an hour and barely made enough to get by while in Indy paying bills at 2 places, and trying to deal with the increase in cost of living. And now I make plenty of money, but the level of responsibility has become something I do not desire.
a. I do not like being called about every single problem with the store. Its annoying, it interrupts my life out side of the store, and frankly sometimes I just don't care.
b. I do not enjoy baby sitting. Seriously, you are 17 or older, learn to deal with your problems, don't smoke your brain stupid before work, and do your fucking job.
c. I don't like being responsible for the financial well being of everyone on my staff. Honestly if I could pay people better, I would, the job sucks, the hours suck, and I need to keep my employees happy and I don't know how.
4. Training. I feel that going along with my rant about structure, I feel like the training I have received and various levels of working at Hot Box is lacking. I don't feel like I've been properly trained to do my job since I left Lafayette. I feel like I knew how to do most of what I was doing when I was the assistant manager, but now I'm the general manager and I don't know what to do half the time. I feel like I'm forced to make educated decisions to fix problems that I have no clue how to handle. Shit breaks all the time, and I have to get it fixed because its my job to keep the store open and running, and honestly I'm at a loss half the time. Since I've been here, everything under the fucking sun has broken or stopped working and I'm the one to fix it with no structure or guidance really. I'm not paid well enough for that.
Honestly, I had more, and honestly I don't know what to do about it now. I like the money I'm making, the economy sucks balls right now, and I need a job, but I'm not fucking happy anymore. I can't leave town to go to shows ever, I can't go out and do things with my friends because I'm always at work, and I feel like no one gives a fuck about it. I'm tired of that, I want a job where I can show up, do my work, and go home and be left alone. Case closed. End rant.
(see Brandi, I told you I feel your pain)
In May I came to Indianapolis with the intention of becoming the General Manager of the Broad Ripple Hot Box Pizza location. When I moved down here, I stayed with my girl friend at the time, Maggie, and her Mom and brother, with the intention of moving into a place of my own when I found one. The summer was spent training at the store with the current GM in order to better acclimate myself with the differences between the new store and my old store. I was also training to learn the responsibilities of the General Manager. In August I took over and the previous GM stepped down.
Recently, I have come to learn a few things about myself that make me question how much longer I want to work for Hot Box Pizza. Don't get me wrong, I like the company as a whole, but in my current position I question my desire to perform at the level required. Two weeks ago my boss, Gabe, sat down with me and told me that he was not pleased with my performance and that he was worried that my attitude was to blame. I will admit that the things he mentioned were definitely occurring and that my attitude was to blame, but until the past few days I had no idea why my attitude was as it is. I have been snappy with both employees and customers, I haven't been getting all of my work completed, and I've been showing up late to work. Most of all I've been completely unmotivated.
In my reflection and discussions with many family members I have come to determine the things I dislike about my job and why they do not fit into my frame of mind lately.
1. Order. My job lacks order. As a whole, the company of Hot Box Pizza, does not have any sort of method or direction. Since its inception, this company has barely stayed afloat by shear luck and will power of who knows what, but it does not have proper order. There are people attempting to change this, both at store and company levels, but as it is currently there is no real sense of structure or order.
2. Hours. I believe that the amount of time my job requires me to put in is not reasonable for the amount of money I currently making. If I was asked to merely run my store, I believe it would be a fair amount of money. However I am required to both fix and repair the entire store, from top to bottom facility wise, and then also fix and repair staff issues, help with training of franchisees and standardize the company for franchising, I feel I am making no where near what I deserve. If I compare my position to that of any entry level position I could have using the college degree I possess, I am making much less with more responsibility. If I compare my current position to that of an average delivery driver, I am making comparable rates for much more responsibility.
On top of the amount of work required, I work at night which sucks, and keeps me from having any sort of social life. I don't get time off often, or enough that I can enjoy it without someone calling me and interrupting my plans.
3. Responsibility vs. Money. When I started working for Hot Box/Pizza Express I loved my job. I had no responsibility more than just showing up to work on time, doing my job, and getting out. I picked up shifts for people because I enjoy money, and I delivered pizzas and did a damned good job at it, case closed, no questions about it. In May of 06 I came down to Broad Ripple to help out 3 days a week because they needed help and the Lafayette store was slow as balls in the summer. I worked 12 hour shifts 3 days a week, and worked in store the whole time. I eventually ran some shifts, didn't hate it because I wasn't in charge, but didn't really like it because it lacked the money of driving. In August I returned to Lafayette and started delivering again until December when the assistant manager walked out on the store. I stepped up, opened the store back up, ran shift and helped until the GM got back from his honey moon. At this point I should have chose to go back to being a driver, but instead I decided to take a pay increase from 6.50 an hour to 7.25 an hour to become a shift manager. I say pay increase, but over all I lost money on that deal. I eventually worked my way up to Assistant Manager, and made 9.25 an hour. When I moved down to Indy, I got bumped up to 9.50 an hour and barely made enough to get by while in Indy paying bills at 2 places, and trying to deal with the increase in cost of living. And now I make plenty of money, but the level of responsibility has become something I do not desire.
a. I do not like being called about every single problem with the store. Its annoying, it interrupts my life out side of the store, and frankly sometimes I just don't care.
b. I do not enjoy baby sitting. Seriously, you are 17 or older, learn to deal with your problems, don't smoke your brain stupid before work, and do your fucking job.
c. I don't like being responsible for the financial well being of everyone on my staff. Honestly if I could pay people better, I would, the job sucks, the hours suck, and I need to keep my employees happy and I don't know how.
4. Training. I feel that going along with my rant about structure, I feel like the training I have received and various levels of working at Hot Box is lacking. I don't feel like I've been properly trained to do my job since I left Lafayette. I feel like I knew how to do most of what I was doing when I was the assistant manager, but now I'm the general manager and I don't know what to do half the time. I feel like I'm forced to make educated decisions to fix problems that I have no clue how to handle. Shit breaks all the time, and I have to get it fixed because its my job to keep the store open and running, and honestly I'm at a loss half the time. Since I've been here, everything under the fucking sun has broken or stopped working and I'm the one to fix it with no structure or guidance really. I'm not paid well enough for that.
Honestly, I had more, and honestly I don't know what to do about it now. I like the money I'm making, the economy sucks balls right now, and I need a job, but I'm not fucking happy anymore. I can't leave town to go to shows ever, I can't go out and do things with my friends because I'm always at work, and I feel like no one gives a fuck about it. I'm tired of that, I want a job where I can show up, do my work, and go home and be left alone. Case closed. End rant.
(see Brandi, I told you I feel your pain)