hello brain, where are you most of the time anyway?
It's weird. I just watched this documentary on the punk music or "punk" movement. It got me thinking. Not really about punk because i'm not the biggest fan, but about the relative thought processess that go in my mind, and theoretically that i attempt to apply to life. If i was born in the late 60's im quite sure id have been a big punk fan.
There is this oddly coloured stain that drifts between most aspects of my non mandatory-functional-requirement life. i've looked for ways to frame it before and it's always been hard, if not a pointless endeavour, and i have no doubt this about-to-go-to-bed-but-brain-keeps-going train that i'm on will be just as futile, but alas, im a sucker for "reasons".
I think one way or another, art is a big part of who i am, who i seek to be, how i interact and how i think. Yes the most obvious place is within the realm of aural expression.. but there are others, i just dont get as worked up and openly passionate about them.
There is entertainment and there is art. The line can be blurred at times, and i'd be a hypocrite if i claimed to be above every day mediocrity, or claimed to be some sort of blessed being, but i think for the most part if i look at what i enjoy; or what i am passionate towards, its not generally entertainment. Its not neccessarily pretty, or easy, or positive etc etc, its something that exists for its own sake and own reasons. I dont always agree with the messages that the various art forms i obsess over preach, but i do find some sort of connection- some sort of "greater" acceptance when i immerse myself in the art... even if its not something i agree with, in some cases, i am even vehemently opposed to; it doesnt seem to matter.
i dont know why exactly. I know some of it has to do with my inherent need to give the finger to established norms; to flush out the things within me that make me want to accept the crap we as humans are fed every minute of every day. Yes, it sounds like a form of elitism, it is. I dont think people, and that means 80% of the world, for the most part can think beyond the consequences and needs of their immediate surrounds; their immediate necessity. I cant help but think past that.
It makes me realise i need to be far more politically and socially agressive about things which are fucked, i need to do what i should have done a long time ago; get some balls and stand up.. dont just support those who fight against mediocrity and simplicity, but actually become a voice. I just have no idea how to do that,how to become that person that i know i am and in fact have to be in order not to just shrivel up and die. It bothers me.
I have things in my head that i really cant articulate and this is a piss-weak excuse of an attempt at doing so. That in itself bothers me too. i remember a time when i didnt used to feel so challenged in this respect, maybe im getting old(er) and slow(er) or something :(. At least im still angry. if i stop being angry, someone please do justice to my intentions as a human and end me?
There is this oddly coloured stain that drifts between most aspects of my non mandatory-functional-requirement life. i've looked for ways to frame it before and it's always been hard, if not a pointless endeavour, and i have no doubt this about-to-go-to-bed-but-brain-keeps-going train that i'm on will be just as futile, but alas, im a sucker for "reasons".
I think one way or another, art is a big part of who i am, who i seek to be, how i interact and how i think. Yes the most obvious place is within the realm of aural expression.. but there are others, i just dont get as worked up and openly passionate about them.
There is entertainment and there is art. The line can be blurred at times, and i'd be a hypocrite if i claimed to be above every day mediocrity, or claimed to be some sort of blessed being, but i think for the most part if i look at what i enjoy; or what i am passionate towards, its not generally entertainment. Its not neccessarily pretty, or easy, or positive etc etc, its something that exists for its own sake and own reasons. I dont always agree with the messages that the various art forms i obsess over preach, but i do find some sort of connection- some sort of "greater" acceptance when i immerse myself in the art... even if its not something i agree with, in some cases, i am even vehemently opposed to; it doesnt seem to matter.
i dont know why exactly. I know some of it has to do with my inherent need to give the finger to established norms; to flush out the things within me that make me want to accept the crap we as humans are fed every minute of every day. Yes, it sounds like a form of elitism, it is. I dont think people, and that means 80% of the world, for the most part can think beyond the consequences and needs of their immediate surrounds; their immediate necessity. I cant help but think past that.
It makes me realise i need to be far more politically and socially agressive about things which are fucked, i need to do what i should have done a long time ago; get some balls and stand up.. dont just support those who fight against mediocrity and simplicity, but actually become a voice. I just have no idea how to do that,how to become that person that i know i am and in fact have to be in order not to just shrivel up and die. It bothers me.
I have things in my head that i really cant articulate and this is a piss-weak excuse of an attempt at doing so. That in itself bothers me too. i remember a time when i didnt used to feel so challenged in this respect, maybe im getting old(er) and slow(er) or something :(. At least im still angry. if i stop being angry, someone please do justice to my intentions as a human and end me?