0116710
I was laying in bed next to Kate tonight, and she was fast asleep. It's been a long past week for her, since her 21st was exactly a week ago. A true party animal, I must say. Except for tonight, which was sober-eat-mexican-food-and-watch-a-movie-night.
We watched Forrest Gump, and I swear I'm never watching it again! The scenes of him going through the army just trigger too many memories. When I tried to fall asleep, there was a noise outside from down by the train tracks. I think it was two boxcars bumping together or something, but in my head I automatically thought of mortar-fire. After that, it was all downhill.
My thought processes started spinning and turning, and sooner than I knew it I was back in Iraq reliving my whole experience all at once. It was all there: my first day, my first gunfire, the bullet that caught my arm, the shrapnel that found a home in my neck, the teenager who was shot 6 times in a driveby, the brains oozing from his head, the little boy holding an AK-47 while getting his head shot clean off by my gunner's .50 cal, the putrid smell of garbage in the streets of Baghdad, the cigar smoke and whiskey in the medical supply shack where we played poker with the colonels, everything. I even remembered the smell of blood and gunpowder. There's nothing else like it.
A second later, I remembered where I was. I had one arm around Kate, and I could feel her skin. My legs were tense, so I let them relax. I was in this time, and not the past. Deep breath.
Then, I opened my eyes and realized I had my pillow in a deathgrip. There was sweat all over my body and the area around my head was completely soaked in tears. Jesus, that was scary.
I've never watched a war movie since before a joined the army, and I tend to leave the room when a scene like that comes on. I guess, for good reason.
The only time this has ever happened before was a few days after I came back on leave from Iraq, and I was laying with Amanda. However, I don't think we watched ANY movies that day.
I think it's the touch and smell of someone close that brings me back. It's the reminder that reality is now, and memories are over and done with. They can't possibly be anything to worry about, because it's all in the past.
It's amazing that even though it all happened so long ago, I can still remember it so vividly. It felt like I was really there again. I heard every sound, smelled every scent, felt the weight of every piece of armor on my body. I could see the serial number on my M-16 rifle. In fact, I didn't even remember the number until I saw it again. 0116710. Her name was Julie.
I wonder what the process was that made me remember all these things. If I could remember Iraq that vividly, I wonder if I could remember other things I've forgotten about.
We watched Forrest Gump, and I swear I'm never watching it again! The scenes of him going through the army just trigger too many memories. When I tried to fall asleep, there was a noise outside from down by the train tracks. I think it was two boxcars bumping together or something, but in my head I automatically thought of mortar-fire. After that, it was all downhill.
My thought processes started spinning and turning, and sooner than I knew it I was back in Iraq reliving my whole experience all at once. It was all there: my first day, my first gunfire, the bullet that caught my arm, the shrapnel that found a home in my neck, the teenager who was shot 6 times in a driveby, the brains oozing from his head, the little boy holding an AK-47 while getting his head shot clean off by my gunner's .50 cal, the putrid smell of garbage in the streets of Baghdad, the cigar smoke and whiskey in the medical supply shack where we played poker with the colonels, everything. I even remembered the smell of blood and gunpowder. There's nothing else like it.
A second later, I remembered where I was. I had one arm around Kate, and I could feel her skin. My legs were tense, so I let them relax. I was in this time, and not the past. Deep breath.
Then, I opened my eyes and realized I had my pillow in a deathgrip. There was sweat all over my body and the area around my head was completely soaked in tears. Jesus, that was scary.
I've never watched a war movie since before a joined the army, and I tend to leave the room when a scene like that comes on. I guess, for good reason.
The only time this has ever happened before was a few days after I came back on leave from Iraq, and I was laying with Amanda. However, I don't think we watched ANY movies that day.
I think it's the touch and smell of someone close that brings me back. It's the reminder that reality is now, and memories are over and done with. They can't possibly be anything to worry about, because it's all in the past.
It's amazing that even though it all happened so long ago, I can still remember it so vividly. It felt like I was really there again. I heard every sound, smelled every scent, felt the weight of every piece of armor on my body. I could see the serial number on my M-16 rifle. In fact, I didn't even remember the number until I saw it again. 0116710. Her name was Julie.
I wonder what the process was that made me remember all these things. If I could remember Iraq that vividly, I wonder if I could remember other things I've forgotten about.